Font of All Knowledge

Way back in the mists of time (that is， before 2010)， it was inconceivable that internet-speak would influence the way an entire generation writes， and even speaks. Yet social media has enabled Chinese netizens to take inspiration from the sayings and comments they come across in their everyday lives， both online and offline， turn them on their head and make them their own. These fonts (字體 z#t@)， or memes that adapt catchy remarks usually made by public figures， have swept across China’s internet over the last two years and perfectly illustrate the satirical sense of humor that underpins many of the exchanges that take place there. From the granddaddy and originator of them all， the “Fanke font，” to those inspired by romantic microblogs or the inanities of government spokesmen， we take a look at popular fonts that reflect the more playful side of the Chinese internet and the users who populate it.

the FanKe Font ( 凡客體 F1nk-t@ )

The “font” trend started in 2010， when a series of eye-catching billboards appeared overnight in train and bus stations across the country. They were produced by Vancl， an online shopping website， and showed a slim young man dressed casually in a blue T-shirt. Next to him， the advert featured a stream of text in short， punchy phrases:

“Love the internet， love freedom， love to get up late， love sidewalk snack booths in the night， love racing cars; also love canvas shoes at RMB59. I’m not a pioneer， nor a spokesman for anything. I am Han Han， and I speak for myself. I’m just like you， I’m Vancl.”

愛網絡，愛自由，愛晚起，愛夜間大排檔，愛賽車；也愛59塊帆布鞋，我不是什么旗手，不是誰的代言，我是韓寒，我只代表我自己。我和你一樣，我是凡客。

Ai w2nglu7， 3i z#y5u， 3i w2nq@， 3i y-ji`n d3p1id3ng， 3i s3ich8; y0 3i w^sh!ji^ ku3i f`nbxi9， w6 b%sh# sh9nme q!sh6u， b%sh# sh9ide d3iy1n， w6 sh# H1n H1n， w6 zh@ d3ibi2o w6 z#j@. W6 h9 n@ y!y3ng， w6 sh# F1nk-.

Han Han (韓寒) is one of China’s most famous and controversial bloggers， not to mention a hugely successful writer and rally car racer. So when the billboard ads came out， his fellow bloggers immediately seized on it as a way of lampooning other high-profile figures， kick-starting the font trend in the process.

David Beckham was one of the first to receive the Fanke treatment:“Love football， love to show off loveliness， love the wife， love my three sons， love Lego， love to clean up my room; also love Casillas (his goalkeeper at Real Madrid)， love the national team， love Manchester United， love Real Madrid. I am not a scapegoat， neither a vase nor a temptation. I’ll do whatever it takes to get back on the national team. I am a fickle， tormented Taurus. I am David Beckham.”

Another poked fun at Guo Degang(郭德綱)， China’s most popular crosstalk comedian:

“Love crosstalk， love acting， love my luxurious house， love showing off， love so and so， especially love the 15 kuai laotou hanshan (老頭汗衫，a style of T-shirt). Don’t like Zhou Libo (Guo’s competitor)， neither do I count on him liking me. I am pleased to be the spokesman for Givenchy.”

the dandan Font ( 丹丹體 D`nd`nt@ )

This font comes courtesy of Chinese actress Song Dandan’s (宋丹丹) Weibo account， and is addressed to the head of a famous real estate development company:

“Boss Pan， I’m just an actress， and I don’t have much money. I’ll still treat you to a bottle of Chateau Lafite if you don’t build any more ugly buildings. I mean it， please!”

潘總，我就是個演員沒多少錢，我請你喝拉菲，別再蓋樓了，真的，求你了！

P`n z6ng， w6 jish# ge y2nyu1n m9i du4shao qi1n， w6 q@ng n@ h8 L`f8i， bi9 z3i g3il5u le， zh8n de， qi% n@ le!

Hundreds of microbloggers imitated her style， using it as a platform to launch criticisms of the ugliest buildings， and the developers behind them， in their area.

the ShoutIng Font ( 咆哮體 P1oxi3ot@ )

Inspired by the laments of a struggling French language learner posting on Xiaonei (a Chinese social networking site similar to Facebook， now better known as Renren)， the shouting font took bulletin boards and blogs by storm. In a 1512-word article called “學法語的人你傷不起?。。　?(Xu9 F2y^ de r9n n@ sh`ngbuq@!!! French learners can’t take any more!!!) the poster managed to squeeze in 829 exclamation marks—all related to his despair at the travails of learning French. Here is an extract in which the student complains about the French language’s complicated numerical expressions:

“French people are really excellent at math!!!!!!!! You don’t remember 76 as 76!!!!!!!! It’s pronounced “60 plus 16”!!!!!!!! Ninety-six is not 96!!!!!!!! It’s pronounced ‘four times 20 plus 16’!!!!!!!! French people must have incredible math skills， don’t they?!!!!!!!!” Students and professionals in other areas rallied to the call， adapting the painful cries for help to their own subjects and tossing in other fashionable phrases complaining about their frustrations. Key phrases that pepper shouting font entries include“有木有” (yes or no， y6umy6u)， “傷不起” (can’t take anymore， sh`ngbuq@)， and“坑爹” (tricky， k8ngdi8).

the hIgh-Speed raIl Font ( 高鐵體 G`oti0t@ ) and the mIld Font ( 輕度體 Q~ngdt@ )

During a press conference after the devastating high-speed rail accident that occurred on the Ningbo-Wenzhou line in July 2011， the public inquired en masse as to why a girl had been found alive after the Ministry of Railways had halted rescue operations， saying there were no more survivors. The ministry’s spokesman responded， “I can only say that it’s a miracle. No matter whether you believe it or not， I believe it.” (我只能說這是個奇跡，至于你們信不信，我反正信了。 W6 zh@n9ng shu4 zh- sh# ge q!j#， zh#y% n@men x#nbux#n， w6 f2nzh-ng x#n le.) The absurdity of his remark prompted vengeful netizens to create“the high-speed rail font，” culminating in a competition to find the most ironic ways of mimicking the spokesman. Here are some examples:

“The Chinese Football Association said the Chinese team can qualify for the 2014 World Cup. No matter whether you believe it or not， I believe it.” (China’s scandal-prone soccer team are notorious underachievers.)

中國足協(xié)說：中國足球能進2014世界杯，至于你信不信，反正我信了！

Zh4nggu5 Z%xi9 shu4: Zh4nggu5 z%qi% n9ngj#n 2014 Sh#ji-b8i， zh#y% n@ x#nbux#n， f2nzh-ng w6 x#n le!

“There is no traffic jam in Beijing today. It’s a miracle， but it’s really happened. No matter whether you believe it or not， I believe it.”

北京今天沒堵車，這是一個奇跡，但它就是發(fā)生了。至于你信不信，我反正信了。

B0ij~ng j~nti`n m9i d^ch8， zh- sh# y! g- q!j#， d3n t` jish# f`sh8ng le. Zh#y% n@ x#nbux#n， w6 f2nzh-ng x#n le.

Building on the theme of railway accidents inspiring new fonts， a less serious crash that occurred two months later on a Shanghai subway train prompted the spread of “the mild font.” In an attempt to play down the seriousness of the accident， CCTV reported the news under the headline“A line 10 subway train suffered a mild rear-end collision” (地鐵十號線列車發(fā)生輕度追尾d#ti0 sh!h3oxi3n li-ch8 f`sh8ng q~ngd zhu~w0i). On Weibo， bloggers mocked the use of the word 輕度 (q~ngd)， noting that the hundred or so people that were injured in the crash probably didn’t find it quite so “mild，” especially as some were quite seriously hurt. The font transformed the phrase from a formal word to one used to modify all kinds of adjective and verbs. For example， people might describe someone as mildly retarded (輕度弱智 q~ngd ru7zh# )， mildly hungry (輕度餓了 q~ngd- le)， mildly old (輕度衰老 q~ngd shu`il2o)， afflicted by mild acne (臉上輕度長了個包 li2nshang q~ngd zh2ngle g- b`o)， or mildly depressed(輕度郁悶 q~ngd ym-n). Reading all these examples， do you mildly understand (輕度理解 q~ngd l@ji0)， or just mildly laugh and shrug (輕度笑笑 q~ngd xi3oxiao)?

the chIll cool Font ( 秋褲體 Qi$kt@ )

A discussion about foreigners’ tendency to wear 秋褲 (transliterated as “chill cool” by Time Out magazine but actually referring to long underwear) inspired this font. Its most famous use was in the sentence: “There is a kind of yearning called waiting with great expectations; there is a kind of coldness known only as forgetting to wear your chill cool.”

有一種思念叫做望穿秋水，有一種寒冷叫做忘穿秋褲.

Y6u y# zh6ng s~ni3n ji3ozu7 w3ng chu`n qi$ shu@， y6u y# zh6ng h1nl0ng ji3ozu7 w3ng chu`n qi$k.

the BacK-up Font( 撐腰體 Ch8ngy`ot@ )

In October 2011， five-year-old Xiao Yueyue (小悅悅) was run over by a car. The crime was caught on video， and the nation was appalled as 18 people were filmed walking by without stopping to help. Most people guessed the passersby were afraid they might be accused of involvement in the crime and forced to pay compensation. The incident provoked widespread calls for reflection and prompted the vice-president of Peking University to release this statement:

“If you are a student at PKU， and you see an older person who’s fallen down， go help him! If he blackmails you， the PKU law department will provide legal aid. If you lose the lawsuit， PKU will pay the compensation for you!”

你是北大人，看到老人摔倒了你就去扶。他要是訛你，北大法律系給你提供法律援助，要是敗訴了，北大替你賠償！

N@ sh# B0id3r9n， k3nd3o l2or9n shu`id2ole n@ ji q f%. T` y3oshi 9 n@， B0id3 f2l_x# g0i n@ t!g4ng f2l_ yu1nzh， y3oshi b3is le， B0id3 t# n@ p9ich1ng!

Recognizing the courageousness and supportive nature of his comments， netizens christened the style the “back-up font.” In a bid to promote support for the sentiment， various versions of the back-up font appeared in the days after the speech. Most focused on different universities and retained the tongue-in-cheek tone of the original fonts:

“If you are a student of the China University of Geosciences， and you see an older person who’s fallen down， go help him! If he blackmails you， Prime Minister Wen (an alumnus of CUG) will help you. If you lose the lawsuit， CUG will find a gold mine to help pay the compensation!”

你是地大人，看到老人摔倒了你就去扶。他要是訛人，地大校友辦去幫你找溫校友反映情況，要是敗訴了，學校幫你找個金礦！

N@ sh# D#d3r9n， k3nd3o l2or9n shu`id2ole n@ ji q f%. T` y3oshi 9 n@， D#d3 xi3oy6u q b`ng n@ zh2o W8nxi3oy6u f2ny#ng q!ngku3ng， y3oshi b3is le， xu9xi3o b`ng n@ zh2oge j~nku3ng！

the elopIng Font( 私奔體 S~b8nt@ )

Eloping with anybody or anything was the most fashionable thing on the internet for a while， following this midnight Weibo post by well-known Chinese investor Wang Gongquan:

“Dear friends and colleagues， I have given up everything and decided to elope with Wang Qin. Thanks to everyone for your years of support， and I wish you all eternal happiness. As I cannot meet your expectations and trust， nor give further explanations， I leave without saying goodbye. Please forgive me.”

各位親友，各位同事，我放棄一切，和王琴私奔了。感謝大家多年的關懷和幫助，祝大家幸福！沒法面對大家的期盼和信任，也沒法和大家解釋，也不好意思，故不告而別。叩請寬恕！

G- w-i q~ny6u， g- w-i t5ngsh#， w6 f3ngq# y!qi-， h9 W1ng Q!n s~b8n le. G2nxi- d3ji` du4ni1nl1i de gu`nhu1i h9 b`ngzh， zh d3ji` x#ngf%! M9if2 mi3ndu# d3ji` de q~p3n h9 x#nr-n， y0 m9if2 h9 d3ji` ji0sh#， y0 bh2o y#si， g bg3o 9rbi9. K7u q@ng ku`nsh!

Wang’s weirdly romantic online declaration of love prompted netizens to post numerous eloping font copies， claiming they were romping off into the twilight with all manner of wondrous things， including sleep， houses， holidays and， of course， bags of cash.

the taoBao Font( 淘寶體 T1ob2ot@ )

Anyone who has ever shopped on Taobao has probably experienced being called 親(darling). It’s the cornerstone of polite exchanges on the hugely popular online marketplace (just see our Social Chinese guide to buying and selling on page 73) and the Taobao talking style has infiltrated some unexpected sections of society. For example， in July 2011， Nanjing University of Science and Technology sent out letters telling candidates they had won a place at the university via mobile phone:

“Dear， congratulations! You have been admitted to our university! Darling， please come on September 2 to register! The letter of admission will be delivered to you tomorrow! Dear， please give me top marks for good service!”

親，祝賀你哦！你被我們學校錄取了哦！親，9月2號報到哦！錄取通知書明天“發(fā)貨”哦！親，全5分哦！給好評哦！

Q~n， zhh- n@ o! N@ b-i w6men xu9xi3o lq^ le o!Q~n， ji^yu- -rh3o b3od3o o， lq^ t4ngzh~sh$ m!ngti`n “f`hu7” o!Q~n， qu1n w^ f8n o， g0i h2op!ng o!

親， as well as the modal particles 哦 and 呦， are the buzzwords that make this instantly recognizable as the Taobao font. Randomly， this font has also made an appearance in job ads for posts at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (written in a similar style to the university admission letter) and even a police “wanted” poster.