笑話

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun， and John wanted to join the army， but he was only 16 years old， and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctors examed him， he said that he was 18.

But John’s brother had joined the army a few days before， and the same doctor had examed him， too. This doctor remembered the older boy’s family name(姓)， so when he saw John’s papers， he was surprised.

“How old are you?” he asked.

“Eighteen， sir，”said John.

“But your brother was eighteen， too.”said the doctor，“Are you twins?”

“Oh， no， sir，”said John， and his face went red.“My brother is five months older than I am.”

Selling an Elephant

A merchant(商人)was selling a large elephant. A man came up to the elephant and began to examine it very carefully. The merchant went up to him and whispered(耳語)in his ear，“Don’t say anything about that elephant till I’ve sold it， and I’ll make you a present.”

“All right，”said the man.

After the elephant had been sold， the merchant gave him one-tenth of the price he had got for it， saying， “Now， will you tell me how you found out that blemish(瑕疵)on the left foreleg of the elephant? I thought it was quite hidden.”

“I never found any blemish，”said the man.

“Then why did you look so carefully at every part of the elephant?”

“Because I’d never seen one before， and wanted to know what they were like.”

Onions

I like onions(洋蔥)very much. I not only like to eat onions raw(生的)，but also in a fried(煎、炒)dish pork(豬肉)or eggs in it. As long as (只要)the dinning-hall serves onions， I will eat them. Some people have asked me:“Why do you like onions so much?”I said， “An onion a day keeps the doctor away.”

Some days ago， I had a bad cold and a sore throat(咽喉炎). Three days passed， but I was not better at all. So I decided to see the doctor. As I was walking along to the clinic(診所)，I coughed badly. Suddenly， someone walking behind me called out my name. I turned around and saw it was one of my lunch partners. He asked me，“What’s wrong with you?”I told him I had a cold and was going to see the doctor. He said with a smile on his face，“You needn’t go to see the doctor.” I was puzzled(迷惑不解)and asked why. He looked at me and said， “An onion a day keeps the doctor away.”

Paving-stones

A village boy who had spent all his life in the country， was sent with a message into a town which he had never visited before. As he was walking through one of the streets， a dog ran at him and tried to bite him. The village boy looked round and tried to find a stone to throw at the dog， but the road was made of large paving-stones(鋪路石)，tightly fixed.

“What an odd place this is，”he said， “where all the stones are tied up， and the dogs let loose.”(這個地方真奇怪，把石頭都拴起來，卻讓狗到處跑。)