幽默

Spend All

Mr Black gave his wife money every Friday evening， but she always spent it before the next Wednesday， so that for the next three days she had none.

Every Tuesday evening Mr Black asked her，“But what did you spend all that money on?”And she always answered，“I don’t know.”

One Friday Mr Black brought home an exercise?鄄book and pencil and gave them to his wife with her money.“Now look!”he said to her.“When you get money from me， write it down on this page，and on the opposite(反面的) page write down what happens to the money(記下錢是怎么花的).”

When Mr Black came home the next Tuesday， his wife came to him and showed him the book，“I have done what you told me，”she said happily. On one page she had written“Friday， 29th June. I got 18 from John.”And on the opposite page，“Tuesday， 2nd July. I have spent it all.”

The Clever Parrot

A poor man had a parrot(鸚鵡) whose name was Poll. The parrot could say the words:“There is no doubt about it(毫無疑問).”He knew these words very well and called out the whole day:“There is no doubt about it!”

To every question Poll gave the same answer. One day his master went to the market(市場). He wanted to sell the parrot.“Who will buy my parrot?”he cried.“Twenty pounds for a clever parrot!”

The price was very high， and a man who wanted to buy him said，“Poll， are you worth(值) twenty pounds?”

“There is no doubt about it!”was Poll’s answer. So the man bought the bird， and carried him home.

Some time later he felt sorry for his money. Once he came up to the cage of the parrot and said，“What a fool I was when I threw(扔) so much money away!”

“There is no doubt about it!”cried the bird. And this time the parrot was right.

Fire， Fire!

Mr Brown was busy writing letters in his room when his servant， a very stupid boy， rushed hesitantly(猶豫地)into his master’s room and shouted loudly in an excited voice，“Fire!Fire!The kitchen(廚房)is on fire!”

Mr Brown got up quickly， and he and the boy ran as fast as they could to the kitchen.

“Look there，”shouted the boy， pointing to the leaping flames(跳動的火苗). He had carelessly left some dry wood near the fire and this was alight(木頭燒著了)and blazing(熊熊燃燒)hard. Mr Brown saw a big of boiling on the top of the stove(爐子).“You silly fellow(蠢貨)，”he said.“Why didn’t you throw that on the burning wood? That would have put it out(撲滅) quickly.”

“Oh， no，”said the boy slowly.“That water would be useless: it’s HOT water.”