做個咖啡“勢利眼”

I didn’t know 2)Starbucks sold coffee，” I murmur， appearing slightly 3)intrigued.

“But—um ... I mean， you really don’t know

Starbucks is a coffee shop?”

“It’s not， that I’m aware of.” I generally don’t 4)tip my hand so quickly， but she looks like an 5)easy mark.

“Well I like it.”

“Of course you do! I used to like it， too.”

My path to coffee snobbery was innocent. It always is. There’s not a one of us who decided to become a coffee snob. Not like wine snobs. Wine snobs become wine snobs because it’s 6)hip and cool. Anyone who decides to become a coffee snob becomes a Starbucks Fanboy， because Starbucks Fandom is hip and cool.

The only coffee-drinker in my immediate family， I developed the taste as a teenager， drinking the 7)swill (I didn’t know it was swill! Honest!) served at parties， church functions， and 8)doughnut shops. We never had coffee around the house except when out-of-town company necessitated it， and then it was the 9)ubiquitous Nescafe.

I drank that， too. I loved it. Eventually， I got to drinking it black. Swill. Black. I know. I’m sorry. I know better now.

In college， I drank cafeteria coffee. I drank coffee on airplanes， coffee at receptions， coffee everywhere brown water went by that name. For one Valentine’s Day， my then-girlfriend gave me a French press.

Now， she was—and to my knowledge， still is—a Starbucks Fan. At the time， though， she was the one to teach me the difference between swill and “good coffee”. I became obsessed， and started making cheap pre-ground coffee in the press.

Epiphany the First: Automatic drip coffee-makers have poor temperature control; they scorch， overextract and underextract every cup of coffee， yielding a burnt cup that’s 10)paradoxically both bitter and sour.

So now I couldn’t drink the stuff I’d been served for most of my coffee-drinking years. I knew coffee could be better. 11)The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil ruined things by demonstrating distinction; the French press did the same thing. Once you know the difference， there is no return to blissful ignorance. And is being able to enjoy the most easily-available type of coffee such a bad thing? Then she gave me a grinder.

Epiphany the Second: Grinding coffee immediately before brewing is the single biggest improvement you can make to your coffee. Granted， I was using roasted-who-knows-when beans from the supermarket mystery-bins labeled exotic wonderful things like “Columbian Dark Roast” and “12)Sumatra 13)Mandheling”.

Looking back， I’m astonished I could taste the varietal difference in those beans， but my first cup of a Mandheling was at this point: I still remember my gleeful astonishment. “It tastes sweet and a little creamy all on its own! Black!”

For several years， I was considered a coffee snob， though not really earning the title. I’d politely refuse coffee whenever it was offered， because I knew my poor odds of enjoying the cup. When I could， I’d go to some of the nicer local coffee-houses and enjoy a cappuccino. Then I discovered it was possible to procure， at retail， green， unroasted coffee.

Epiphany the Third: Coffee that is not fresh is hardly coffee at all.

What can I say? I’m still beginning this journey. It started with my wanting an espresso machine. I thought I could pick up a little mini-14)Krups at the thrift store and be done with it. My research saved me—or doomed me. I discovered that to make anything worth drinking， one had to have fresh coffee. I thought， “No problem. I’ll just buy what I can use in a couple of days.”

WRONG!!!!

“Two weeks，” they said. Yes， definitely

15)puts a damper on the festivities.

“Wait， really?”

“Really.”

“And green coffee costs how much?”

“Maybe five or six bucks a pound， depending on what you get.”

“So， what about if I want the really good stuff， like that local shop has?”

“Oh， that? Two fifty or three bucks a pound.”

Denouement:

There is no denouement: only a continual journey. I roast a half a pound a week. I’m

exploring options for a higher-volume system.

Coffee is worth that.

To a coffee snob.

我不知道星巴克賣咖啡，”我咕噥道，顯得有一絲好奇。

“可是——嗯……我是說，你真不知道星巴克是間咖啡店？”

“它不是……我所知道的咖啡店?！蓖ǔＮ也粫@么快說出自己的想法，但是她看起來挺傻的。

“嗯，我喜歡它。”

“你當然喜歡啦！我以前也喜歡它?！?/p>

我走上咖啡勢利眼之路完全是無意的。事情往往都是這樣的。我們都不是自己決定要成為咖啡勢利眼的。不像那些葡萄酒勢利眼，他們之所以成為勢利眼是因為那樣很潮很酷。而每一個立志要成為咖啡勢利眼的人最后卻倒都變成了星巴克的粉絲，因為覺得做星巴克的粉絲很潮很酷。

在我的直系親屬中，我是唯一一個喝咖啡的人。我從十幾歲時開始喝咖啡，在聚會上，在教會慶典上，在甜甜圈店里喝著這種泔水（我那時還不知道那些咖啡有多差！說真的?。?。我們從不在家里喝咖啡，除非有外來的客人需要，而那時喝的也不過是隨處可見的雀巢咖啡罷了。

我也喝雀巢。我喜歡它。最后，我開始喝什么都不加的黑咖啡。泔水。黑的。我知道。對不起?，F在我了解多了。

在大學里，我喝自助餐廳里的咖啡。我在飛機上喝咖啡，在招待會上喝咖啡，在一切地方喝那些被稱為是“咖啡”的褐色的水。但是，有一年情人節，我當時的女朋友送了我一個法式壓濾壺。

而今，她曾是——據我所知，現在仍是——一個星巴克粉絲，雖然當時正是她教我如何分辨泔水和“好咖啡”的。于是我被迷住了，開始用壓濾壺制作便宜的預磨咖啡（事先磨好的、非現磨咖啡）。