幽默的南非人

Sent by the Chinese Government， I worked as an interpreter in South Africa for two years， starting from 2003. What impressed me most during my two-year stay there， in addition to its natural beauty， was the humor that the locals often had. Due to work relations， I was in frequent contact with some officials of 1)Thaba Chweu 2)Municipality. One day I went to the Mayor’s office and saw an interesting notice in the hall， warning the staff that the recent over-leave had caused some inconvenience for work and that the Mayor had observed this problem， written humorously， but 3)explicitly. I translated it into Chinese and would like to share with you here the humor of the South African people.

Newest Office Regulations—Thaba Chweu Municipality

Due to continuous loss of working hours during the past years， caused by the over-leave of personnel， it has become necessary to implement the following new rules and regulations.

Illness

The Municipality will accept no 4)medical certificates for absence in future. We are convinced that if you are well enough to visit the doctor in hospital， you are well enough to come to work here.

Death of Others

This is no excuse for your leave. You can do nothing more for the deceased. No time will be given off for attending funerals. However， we do suggest that funerals of your 5)next of kin be arranged during your lunch time or after hours.

Death of Your Own

Everyone has to die. Naturally the death of your own is a good excuse.However， it is expected of all to give us a two-week prior notice in order to find replacement for your post and to train the new position.

Appointment to Hospital for Operations

Appointment to hospital for operations is strictly forbidden. 6)Whilst in our service you will need everything you have—you should bring to your work everything that you had when we appointed you and should you have anything removed， we will have no alternative but to adjust your salary accordingly.

Visits to the Toilet

Far too much precious time is wasted by people spending time in the toilet. In future， visits to the toilet will be coordinated by alphabetic order. Surnames starting with “A” will be able to go between 08:30 and 08:45. Should you miss your turn， you will have to wait for the next day.

I would appreciate your kind consideration and coordination to make our working environment a more pleasant and productive one.

The Mayor

受中國政府的派遣，我自2003年起在南非從事了兩年翻譯工作。這兩年時間里給我印象最深的事情，除了南非優美的自然風光以外，就是當地人常有的幽默風趣。由于工作關系，我經常和塔巴丘市政府的一些官員接觸。一天，我去市長辦公室，在大廳里看見了一份有趣的通告，警告人們最近很多人請假已給工作造成了不便且市長已經注意到這個問題。這份通告寫得既幽默風趣，又清晰明了。我將它譯成了中文，在此愿與你們一同分享南非人的幽默。

最新辦公制度（塔巴丘市政府制定）

近年來，由于雇員請假過多，辦公時間持續減少。因此，有必要實施下列新的辦公規章制度。

生病

市政府今后將不接受任何醫院開具的病假證明。我們確信，既然你有力氣去醫院看病，也就應該有力氣來這里上班。

他人去世

這不是你請假的正當理由。逝者已去，你也無能為力。我們不會批假讓你去參加葬禮。不過，我們建議你最好把至親的葬禮安排在午餐時間或下班后舉行。

自己去世

人必有一死，你自已去世當然是請假的好理由。不過，我們希望你能提前兩周通知我們你將死去，以便我們能有充足的時間招人替你，并且對其進行崗位培訓。

預約手術

因預約到醫院做手術而請假，這是絕對不允許的。在我們這兒工作，你必須一應俱全——你應該一應俱全地來工作，就如當初我們聘用你時一般。萬一你有“短斤缺兩”的情況，我們別無它法，只能相應地調整你的工資。……