Ｌｏｖｅ　Ｐｅｏｐｌｅ　Ｉｎ　Ａｌｌ　Ｋｉｎｄｓ　Ｏｆ　Ｗｅａｔｈｅｒ愛不論晴雨

王會慈

Make sure your love is unconditional. Make sure you love people in all kinds of“weather”. Or else what is the use if we love a person only when he is good or she is nice? When I need the people most thats when they leave me. All the time. So please, I hope you wont be like that. We always have to consider the other party, your companions situation and mood. Maybe hes in difficulty right now. Thats why his mood is not so sweet. Maybe she has so much work to do and so many headaches, so she cannot be so darling like usual. That time is the time when we need to show our most noble quality, the way we want ourselves to be.

Its not that if you are sweet to that person then he will love you more.Maybe he will, maybe he wont. But that is not the point to be good and to be noble. To be good, to be noble is for ourselves because we choose to be that way, we want to keep being that way, and we feel good about it. Its not because,“Okay, now he needs me more. If I show more sympathy, then our love will be stronger”; Its not even to be considered.

But most of the time we fail the test. When people are in most difficulty, we just leave them, or we are cold and indifferent.“Oh, youre not nice to me. All right, all right.”“ Youll come and need me soon.”; Of course they will. When theyre in a better mood, when everything goes better, of course theyll come around. But then its too late. Then it is not love anymore. Its just a need for each other. Thats different, because you are used to each other and you need each other sometimes out of habit, out of convenience, out of financial security reasons — anything. But its not true love.

True Love Always Prevails.

True love is we stick together in“thick and thin”. Especially when its thin, when its troublesome. Then we should really bridge over the“troubled water”. Thats what they say in English. But most of us fail the test, to ourselves, not to our partners. He might leave you, he might stay with you, because youre nice or not nice. But you fail yourself. You leave yourself. You leave the most noble being that you really are. So we should check up on this to our family members or whomever that is beloved and dear to us. Most of the time in critical situations, we just turn our backs and that is no good.

Of course we have our anger, our frustrations, because our partners are not as loving as usual, or whomever that is; but he or she is in a different situation. At that time, she or he is in mental suffering. Its just as bad or even worse than physical suffering. Physical suffering you can take a pill or you can have an injection and it stops or at least temporarily stops, and you feel the effect right away; or at least if people are in physical suffering, everyone sympathizes with them.

But when they are in mental anguish, and we pound them more on that, and we turn our backs and become cold and indifferent, that is even more cruel, even worse. That person will be swimming alone in suffering. And especially they trust us as the next of kin, the next person, the one that they think they can rely on in times of need; and then at that time, we just turn around and are snobbish, because they didnt treat us nice so we just want to revenge. Thats not the time. You can revenge later, when hes in better shape. Just slap him.

Actually, at that time, the person is not his usual self anymore. He was probably under very great pressure that he lost his own control. Its not really lost his own control, but for example, when you are in a hurry, your talk is different. Right?“Hand me that coat! Quick! Quick! Quick!”Things like that. But normally, you would say“Honey, please, can you give me that coat.”

Similarly, when you are in a mental or psychological pain, you talk also in a very grouchy way, very cross. But that is understandable. So if we — any so-called loving partner or family member — do not understand even this very least, very basic concept, then were finished. Then we are really in a bad situation. Its not that the partner will do anything to us. Whether he does anything to us later or not, that is no problem. The problem is us. The problem is we degrade ourselves, that we make less of a being of ourselves than we should be, than we are supposed to be, or that we really are. So do not make less of a being of yourselves.

要弄清楚你的愛是沒有條件的，肯定你在任何狀況下、不論晴雨，都能愛人。否則，如果我們只有在一個人表現(xiàn)好的時候才愛他，這有什么用呢？當我最需要人示愛的時候，他們反而要離開我，情況總是如此，所以我希望你們不要像那樣。我們必須時刻考慮對方或同伴的情況和心情，也許他正有困難，所以心情不那么好，也許她有太多事要做，太多頭痛的事，所以才無法像平常那樣親愛，而這時正是該展現(xiàn)我們所自我期許的最高貴品質(zhì)的時候了。

并不是你對一個人很甜，他就會更愛你，也許他會，也許不會，不過這不是使我們表現(xiàn)好或高雅的關(guān)鍵所在。表現(xiàn)好或高雅是為了我們自己，因為我們選擇作那樣的表現(xiàn)，我們希望保持那樣，我們覺得那樣比較好。那并非因為：“好，因為他現(xiàn)在比較需要我，所以我表現(xiàn)多一點同情心，我們的愛情就會比較穩(wěn)固。”這甚至是不該考慮的。

我們大部分時候都經(jīng)不住這種考驗，當別人正值最困難的時期，我們反而離開他們，或是顯得冷淡、漠不關(guān)心，認為：“好，你不對我好，沒關(guān)系，沒關(guān)系，很快你就會回過頭來需要我。”當然他們會，當他們心情比較好，當事情比較順利之后，他們當然會回到你身邊來，只不過那時就太遲了，就不再是愛了，只是彼此需要而已，那是不一樣的！只是由于習慣、由于方便、或是經(jīng)濟安全因素而彼此需要而已，這不是真愛。

真愛勝過一切。

真愛是不管順境還是逆境都緊密地在一起，特別是處于逆境、有麻煩時，更真正應(yīng)該如英語俗話所說的“共渡難關(guān)”，想辦法克服困難。但是大部分人都經(jīng)不住這項考驗而背離了自己，而不是背離了我們的伴侶。因為不論你好或不好，你的伴侶留下或是離開，是你自己通不過考驗，背離了你自己，背棄了內(nèi)在真正高貴的你，所以我們應(yīng)該檢查自己對家人或任何我們所鐘愛的人的關(guān)系，通常在關(guān)鍵的時刻我們反而背棄他們，這樣很不好。

當然我們也會覺得生氣、沮喪，因為我們的伴侶不再像以前一樣可愛，不過這是因為他（她）正處在不同的狀況，精神正受煎熬。精神痛苦和生理的痛苦一樣難受，有時候甚至更糟。生理的痛苦可以藉吃藥或打針來制止，至少可以暫時止痛，可以馬上見效；或者至少身體受苦時，大家都會同情她們。

可是當有人處在精神極度痛苦時，我們卻落井下石，背棄他，變得冷漠不關(guān)心，這是更殘忍、更糟糕的事，那個人就只能孤孤單單地在痛苦中掙扎。尤其他們信任我們是最親密的人，認為在危難時可以依靠，可是我們卻在這個時候轉(zhuǎn)身離去，顯得勢利，只是因為他們不再對我們好或是我們只是想要報復(fù)。這真不是時候！你可以等一下再報復(fù)，等他好一點時，打他一巴掌。

事實上，這個時候那個人已經(jīng)不再是平常的他，可能已因壓力極大而失去控制；也不完全是失去控制，而是像當你很匆忙時，說話的語氣自然會不一樣，你會說：“把那件外衣遞給我，快快快！”而在平常你則會說：“親愛的，能不能請你拿那件外衣給我。”

同樣，當你處于精神或心理疼痛時刻，你的談話自然會顯得粗暴，但這是可以理解的。如果我們這些所謂的愛的伴侶或家人不知道這最起碼、最基本的觀念，我們就完了，我們會很糟糕。并非另一半會對我們怎樣，無論對方以后有沒有對我們怎樣，那都不是問題，問題是在我們自己——我們貶低了自己，不配自己應(yīng)有的身分，所以千萬不要貶低自己。