小幽默四則

劉　偉

Who Is Afraid Now?

A father took a trip with his two-and-a-half-year-old son. It was the first time the father and the boy had been away by themselves.

The first night they spent in a hotel, the father moved his bed close to the boys and when they were both tucked in, he turned out the light. After a few minutes, a little voice said, “It surely is dark, isnt it?” “Yes,” said the father, “its pretty dark, but everything is all right.” There was silence for a few more minutes, and then a small hand reached over and took the fathers hand, “Ill just hold your hand,” said the little boy, “in case you get frightened.”

現在誰害怕？

一個父親帶著他兩歲半的兒子去旅行，那是他們第一次單獨外出。

他們住在旅館的第一個晚上，父親將自己的床移近兒子的床。他們掖好被子后他就關了燈。幾分鐘之后，一個細小的聲音說：“屋子里真夠黑的，是不是？”“是的，”父親說，“屋里是夠黑的，但是一切都正常。”又過了一會兒，一只小手伸過來握住父親的手。“我握住你的手，”小男孩說，“免得你害怕。”

Youll Save Much More

“You will be pleased with me today, Mother,” said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. “I saved on fares. I didnt go to school by bus. I ran all the way after it.”

“Well,” said his mother laughing. “Next time you should run after a taxi, you will save much more.”

你會省的更多

“媽媽，你今天一定會對我滿意的，”迪克放學回家后對媽媽說，“我省下了車錢。我上學時沒乘公共汽車，而是跟著公共汽車一路跑到學校的。”

“哦，”他媽媽笑著說，“下次你跟在出租汽車后面跑，那會省得更多。”

Ill Change My Name

At the age of 16, Edely decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father was appalled, “A son of mine on the stage? Its a disgrace!” he wailed. “What if the neighbors find out?”

“Ill change my name,” the comic-to-be volunteered.

“Change your name!” His father screamed. “What if youre a success? How will the neighbors know its my son?”

我會改個名字

埃迪十六歲了，他決定離開家去參加一個劇團。他的爸爸氣壞了。 “讓我的兒子上舞臺演戲？真丟臉！”他大叫道，“鄰居們知道了怎么想？”

“我會改一個名字。”這位未來的滑稽演員主動提出。

“改名字！”他爸爸喊叫著，“那如果你出了名怎么辦？怎么讓鄰居們知道你就是我的兒子呢？”

Clever Bobby

Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was. “The boy is only two years old,” he said, “and knows all animals. Hes going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you.”

He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.

“Whats that, Bobby?”

“Horsey,” said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said,“Pussy.” Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, “Doggy.” And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, “Daddy!”

聰明的博比

布朗非常欣賞他的小兒子。一次他和一位客人聊他的兒子有多聰明。 布朗說：“他只有兩歲，就認識所有的動物了。他長大一定會是一個出色的自然學家。來，我讓你看看。”

他從書架上拿下一本自然書，把博比抱到膝上，打開書。指著一張長頸鹿的畫片。

“博比，這是什么？”

“馬馬，”博比回答。他又指了一張老虎的畫片，博比回答說：“貓咪。” 然后布朗又指了一張獅子的畫片，博比說：“狗狗。” 他又指了一張黑猩猩的畫片，博比說：“爸爸！”

[注]horsey: 馬（兒語） pussy：貓咪（兒語）