上班族

上班族／洋相

Boss wants too much

For thirty years，John had arrived at work at 9A．M．on the dot．He hadnever missed a day and was never late．

Consequently，when on one particular day 9 A．M．passed withoutJohnson's arrival，it caused a sensation．All work ceased，and the boss himself，looking at his watch and muttering，came out into the corridor．

Finally，precisely at ten，John showed up，clothes dusty and torn，his facescratched and bruised，his glasses bent．He limped painfully to the time clock，punched in，and said，aware that all eyes were upon him，\"I tripped and rolleddown two flights of stairs in the subway．Nearly killed myself．\"

And the boss said，\"Aud to roll down two flights of stairs took you a wholehour?\"

·老板要求得大多了

三十年來(lái)，約翰一直都是上午九點(diǎn)準(zhǔn)時(shí)上班，從來(lái)沒(méi)有缺席過(guò)一天，也沒(méi)有遲到過(guò)。因此，有一天早上九點(diǎn)過(guò)了他還沒(méi)來(lái)時(shí)，引起了轟動(dòng)。所有的工作都停止了，老板則邊看著表邊嘀咕，并且走到了走廊上。

終于，十點(diǎn)整時(shí)，約翰衣衫襤褸，鼻青臉腫的出現(xiàn)了，眼鏡也被弄彎了，他一瘸一拐地走到打卡機(jī)旁，發(fā)現(xiàn)大家都在看著他，“我從地鐵站的兩層樓梯上滾了下來(lái)，差點(diǎn)要了我的命!”他說(shuō)。

但老板卻問(wèn)道：“難道從兩層樓上滾下來(lái)需要花費(fèi)你整整一個(gè)小時(shí)？”

Have a life after death

\"Do you believe in life after death?\"the boss asked one of his employees．\"Yes，Sir．\"the new recruit replied．\"Well，then，that makes everything justfine，\"the boss went on．\"After you left early yesterday to go to your

grandmother's funeral，she stopped in to see you

·人死之后

“你相信人死后還有生命嗎?”老板問(wèn)他的一個(gè)員工。

“是的，老板。”員工回答。

“恩，那就對(duì)了。”老板接著說(shuō)，“昨天你早退去參加你祖母的葬禮之后，你的祖母來(lái)看過(guò)你。”

Late for work

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was alwayslate for work．His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn'tdo something about it.So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill andtold him to take it before he went to bed．Tom slept well and in fact beat thealarm in the morning.He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully towork．\"Boss\"，he said，\"The pill actually worked!\"That's all fine\"said the boss，\"But where were you yesterday?\"

·遲到

湯姆早上總是醒不了，所以經(jīng)常上班遲到。他的老板對(duì)他忍無(wú)可忍，就威脅他說(shuō)如果再遲到便會(huì)開(kāi)除他。湯姆于是只好去看醫(yī)生并開(kāi)了些藥，醫(yī)生告訴他在睡覺(jué)之前服用它。湯姆這天晚上睡得很好，并在早上準(zhǔn)時(shí)被鬧鐘喚醒，他愉快地吃過(guò)早餐然后開(kāi)著車去上班。

“老板”他說(shuō)，“那些藥真的很有效啊!”

“是不錯(cuò)”老板回答。“但是你昨天去哪里了?”