We’re Stuck in a Digital World困在數字世界的我們

I was born in 1981. I don’t remember much， but I think it was Monday because the gynecologist1 had dark circles under his eyes. We used to play soccer in the street， we hated going to school， and we would look forward to opening a new bottle of Coca-Cola at Sunday lunches. There were no cellphones in my house， we printed things out to keep them， and we kept pictures in albums on the shelves in the living room. My God， I’m so old， I think I’m in the throes2 of a mid-life crisis.

我生于1981年。生日是哪天記不太清了，但我想那天應該是個周一，因為那位婦科醫生頂著一對黑眼圈。我們過去常常在街上踢足球，討厭上學，總是盼著周日午餐時能開一瓶新的可口可樂。那時我家里沒有手機，我們把東西打印出來保存，照片則放在客廳書架上的相冊里。天哪，我真是老了，似乎正處于中年危機的痛苦之中。

Our favorite plan was an outing to the countryside， we watched sports on TV， and we listened to the radio first thing in the morning to find out what the latest news in the world was. There were wars， but we hardly ever saw deaths live on television， charity was not a progressive movement against inequality for a sustainable world and it was not in the hands of big woke corporations3 but of small churches， and we cared for the elderly and widowed at home until God called them to his presence.

我們最喜歡的活動是去鄉下郊游。我們在電視上看體育節目，每天早上第一件事就是聽廣播，了解最新的世界新聞。那時雖有戰爭，但電視上幾乎看不到死亡的直播畫面。那時的慈善活動并不是為了可持續發展的世界而反對不平等的進步運動，也不掌握在貼有“覺醒”標簽的大型企業手中，而是由小教堂來組織。我們在家里照顧鰥寡老人，直到上帝召喚他們去他跟前。

We flirted with a certain future perspective. I mean that our emotional life went beyond the actual mating. To flirt， you had to know one another. To know one another， you had to talk to one another， to talk to one another you had to meet in a café， or at the university， or in the library， or in the village where we used to spend the summer. Animals were not just another member of the family and no one demanded that they behave like humans， the prices of things were not in the hands of politicians but of the market， and true friendships were sealed with a handshake and not with a double click.

我們曾是抱著對未來的確切打算才眉來眼去。換句話說，我們的情感生活遠不止是單純的生理結合。要想談感情，首先得彼此熟識；要熟識，必須交談；要交談，就得在咖啡館、大學、圖書館，或是我們過去常常前往消夏的那個小村里相遇。那時動物還不算是家庭成員，也沒有人強求它們像人類一樣行為得體；物價由市場調控，而非由政客操縱；真正的友誼是通過握手而不是鼠標雙擊來維系的。

I don’t know about you， but there are days when I wake up with an urgent need to escape from this digital jungle， this plastic world， in which we have exchanged feelings for tons of made-up ones and zeros. No， I am not the founder of a new Luddism4， I do not believe that any past time is better， and I do not intend to make an amendment5 to the whole of the 21st century. But I am in a crisis. I have gray hairs even under my fingernails， I am traversing the year 2023 like an alien to my time， and if my face has not started to wrinkle， it is only because of the unfathomable6 things of genetics.

不知你們是否有這種感覺，但有些日子我一覺醒來，便有一種強烈的沖動，想逃離這片數字叢林，逃離這個虛假做作的世界。在這個世界里我們用成堆虛擬的0和1來交流感受。不，我不是新一代盧德主義的發起人，不認為過去的一切時光都更美好，也無意對整個21世紀進行全面修正，但我確實陷入了危機。就連我的指甲縫里都長著白發，而2023年的我就像個不合時宜的外星人。若我的臉上尚未布滿皺紋，那恐怕只是由于基因的神秘作用。

A couple of nights ago， paying a succulent7 bill at a restaurant， my bank card failed， the option to pay with my cellphone didn’t work either， and I realized that I haven’t had cash on me in a long time. I called my bank’s emergency phone， where I listened to several very soothing songs， and chatted for about 10 minutes with a robot whose questions went on an endless damn loop no matter what I answered， which at this stage included something about the programmer’s mother’s unedifying8 past. I walked to six different ATMs in the rain and in the wee9 hours of the morning until at last one of them released the money my bank card had refused to， and I returned to the bar to pay the debt in cash， getting wet again and cursing the entirety of the digital age.

幾天前的夜晚，我在餐廳結賬時，面對一張高昂的賬單，卻發現銀行卡無法使用，手機支付也失靈了。這時我才意識到，自己已經很久沒帶現金出門。我撥通銀行的緊急電話，聽了幾首“舒緩身心”的音樂，然后與一個機器人客服周旋了近10分鐘。無論我回答什么內容，甚至爆了粗口，它的提問還是無休無止陷入可惡的循環。我冒著大雨，輾轉嘗試了6臺自動取款機，最后直到凌晨才有一臺吐出了銀行卡先前拒絕支付的現金。我這才重回吧臺用現金結賬，又被淋濕一次，同時在心中詛咒著整個數字時代。

This is not an isolated event. A couple of weeks ago， I missed a train because my phone had no network connection at the exact moment I had to pass my digital ticket through the reader， and in the middle of Christmas， I spent several days unable to access the mail because I had forgotten the password that the server itself had previously forced me to change. In between， traveling around Spain， I almost had to eat a huge bag of garbage because the bin I was supposed to throw it in was closed and would only open if I swiped a digital resident card that， as I was vacationing in a tourist apartment， I obviously did not have. On the way back home， nine hours of night driving in the rain， I almost drove myself off the road because I had updated the app that warns me about speed cameras and in the middle of the trip I was startled by its loud warning of “attention： drones flying over the area！”， to which I responded with a swerve10， a shiver， and several kilometers of driving without actually looking at the road， scanning the starry night sky to find those damn UFOs that the government has put into circulation to fine us.

這絕非個例。幾周前，我錯過了一趟火車，只因在刷電子車票的關鍵時刻，手機突然沒了網絡連接。在圣誕節期間，我整整幾天無法登錄郵箱，只因忘記了服務器之前強制我更改的密碼。在西班牙旅行期間，我差點兒不得不吃掉一大袋垃圾，因為應該扔垃圾的垃圾桶關著，只有刷電子居民卡才能打開，而我只是暫住在旅游公寓中度假，顯然沒那張卡。回家途中，我在雨中連夜開了9個小時的車，結果差點兒沖出公路，只因我剛更新了提醒注意超速攝像頭的應用程序，它在途中突然以震耳欲聾的聲音警告：“注意！區域內有無人機巡航！”這一嗓子嚇得我猛打方向盤，渾身一激靈，并且在接下來的幾公里中幾乎沒再看路，而是緊盯綴滿星星的夜空，尋找那些政府派來罰款的“該死的不明飛行物”。

You will understand that， faced with the flood of digitalization， from the most practical to the most sentimental of sorts， one begins to feel uncomfortable. And sometimes， when no one is looking at me， I close my eyes and long for the world of yesteryear11 when we still had a life， when we looked into people’s eyes， when we lived and spoke without leaving a trace， and when we dared to say “I love you” for real.

你應該能理解，面對從實務到感性方方面面無所不在的數字化浪潮，人們會逐漸覺得不適。有時候，當四下無人，我會閉上眼睛，懷念那個已經遠去的世界。那時我們尚有生活可言，會直視彼此的眼睛，言語和行動不會留下痕跡記錄。那時我們敢于真誠地說出“我愛你”。

（譯者單位：大連外國語大學）

1 gynecologist婦科醫生。" 2 throes劇痛；痛苦的掙扎。

3指那些在社會問題、種族、性別平等和包容性等議題上表現出強烈立場并采取行動的公司。" 4 Luddism盧德主義。工業革命初期，有工人認為是機器的出現使工人失業，于是開始了破壞機器的盧德運動。現在這個詞指對工業化、自動化、數字化等一切新科技盲目反對的態度。" 5 amendment修正；修訂。

6 unfathomable難以理解的；莫測高深的。" 7 succulent多汁的；美味的。文中意思為昂貴的。" 8 unedifying不光彩的；令人厭惡的。" 9 wee很小的；極小的。

10 swerve突然轉彎；急轉彎。" 11 yesteryear往昔；過去的歲月。