捕捉原文續寫點，讓續寫合情合理

廣東 王 思

【問題導讀】

讀后續寫一般提供一段350 詞以內的語言材料，要求考生根據材料內容和所給段落開頭語，將其發展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節和結構完整的短文。然而，考生在進行讀后續寫時往往存在以下問題：

1.閱讀原文時不知道如何挖掘和捕捉原文中的續寫點；

2.續寫的內容與原文不能夠合理銜接或者與原文不連貫；

3.續寫的內容或角度與原文不一致。

【名師導學】

一篇好的讀后續通常能夠圍繞主題對原文中的伏筆（也就是我們所說的可續寫點）進行合理照應。考生如能深入解讀原文，挖掘合理的續寫點，并在續寫時適時照應，那么他們所續寫的段落在語言、內容、邏輯上便更符合原文基調。我們可以從以下幾個方面捕捉和挖掘可續寫點：

1.分析文章標題，捕捉可續寫點；

2.品讀原文首段，捕捉可續寫點；

3.提煉原文主題，捕捉可續寫點；

4.關注特定情節，捕捉可續寫點；

5.留意細節描寫，捕捉可續寫點；

6.關注高頻詞匯，捕捉可續寫點；

7.留意原文結尾，捕捉可續寫點；

8.解讀續寫部分所給的段首句，捕捉可續寫點。

下面，我們來看看如何挖掘和捕捉可續寫點，提高讀后續寫的分數。

【案例導引】

閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。

Outside the box

The Harvestfest contest was falling on Friday and everyone in school was talking about it.All the students would show up in their self-made costumes (服裝) and a winner would be chosen by the principal.

“Do you have your costume for the Harvestfest contest?” Alice asked.“I'm going as a chocolate bar.My mom and I have been working on it all week.”

“Yeah,I have a costume,” said Jordan Eastman,popping up the two front wheels of his wheelchair as he waited for his dad to pick him up.“But it's boring.”

“Why? What is it?” Alice asked.

“MaxMag,the superhero,but Danny,Tom and Izzy are all going as MaxMag too.”Jordan shook his head.“That's too many to stand a chance of winning the contest.” He waved to his dad,who had just pulled up in front of the school.

Jordan rolled his wheelchair towards his dad,and Alice walked with him to the minivan (小貨車).

“Maybe you should go as something else,” Alice said.

“The contest is on Friday night,” Jordan sighed.“It's too late to change costumes.”

“Jordan,you have to think outside the box.Look around your house and see what you have.There's hidden potential in everyday items.” Alice took a sip of her drink,and told Jordan that her chocolate-bar costume was made from old fabric her mom had lying around and recycled plastics.

On his way home,Jordan was quiet.He kept thinking about Alice's words: Think outside the box.There's hidden potential in everyday items.When he got home,he found his mom dealing with some wooden pieces.She was putting a new desk together.On top of the desk was a huge empty cardboard box the pieces had come in.Mom smiled at Jordan,pointing at the desk,“What do you think?”

注意：續寫詞數應為150左右。

Paragraph 1:

Jordan'seyesfellontheboxandhesmiled,“It'sperfect...withmywheelchair.”_______

Paragraph 2:

SoonitwasFridaynight,andJordancouldn'twaittoshowhiscostume._____________

一、原文的語篇要素

二、原文的主題

本文講述了坐輪椅的小男孩喬丹在朋友艾麗斯的鼓勵下，開動腦筋，跳出思維定式，挖掘日常用品的潛能，更改自己單調重復的服裝，并最終在比賽中贏得認可，獲得成長的故事。本文的主題是“任何物品都有潛能，人亦是如此”。

三、原文的情節脈絡發展

四、人物性格分析

五、捕捉續寫點

六、構思情節發展

●續寫第一段具體情節構思

展開語言和動作描寫細節時，可以嘗試回答以下問題并考慮多種可能性：

How did Mom react?

What did Jordan create?

How did Jordan create it?

Did Jordan finish his costume?

根據以上問題，可以確定續寫第一段的內容應該聚焦在喬丹向媽媽解釋他的創意，媽媽參與并幫助喬丹實現他的創意。

●續寫第二段具體情節構思

展開細節時，可以嘗試回答以下問題并考慮多種可能性：

How did Jordan feel?

What happened during the contest?

Who was the winner?

What did Jordan learn from this contest?

根據以上問題，續寫第二段的具體情節可以設計為：喬丹穿著新服裝出場得到了大家的認可和稱贊；丹尼、湯姆和伊茲看到喬丹的裝扮時的反應以及喬丹與艾麗斯的互動；校長宣布最有創意的裝扮，呼應開頭。最重要的是要寫出喬丹在此次經歷中學到了什么，這樣才能夠合理體現人物的成長、自我發現以及心態的積極變化。

參考范文

Paragraph 1:

Jordan'seyesfellontheboxandhesmiled,“It'sperfect...withmywheelchair.”Realizing Mom was confused,he quickly added,“That's a cool desk,Mom.But can I have the big box for the Harvestfest contest?” He then explained excitedly how to turn it into a mobile refrigerator.“Brilliant! You will definitely be the superhero of the party,serving people their favourite drinks,” Mom exclaimed with a broad smile.In the following days,his priority after school was designing and making the new costume,fixing it to his wheelchair and exquisitely making a door.Finally,he even prepared some soft drinks to surprise his friends.

Paragraph 2:

SoonitwasFridaynight,andJordancouldn'twaittoshowhiscostume.When he wheeled himself in as a mobile refrigerator,he heard admiring exclamations,guessing at who it would be.Jordan felt an increasing sense of pride and satisfaction.When he spotted a chocolate bar,he quickly moved towards it,stopped just several inches in front and quickly opened the door.“Jordan,it's you!” Alice cried out.Jordan passed her her favourite drink.“Thank you,Alice.That's an idea outside the box.” That night,although he didn't win the best costume award from the principal,Jordan felt like the real MaxMag: his body and soul were no longer confined to the wheelchair.And he came to realize: there is hidden potential in everyday items,and so it is with every individual.

【模擬導練】

閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。

Today was Community Service Day at school.Maya's class was going to make cards for the seniors living in a nursing home.It was also the first day Maya would be wearing her leg brace to school,which was designed to help her walk more steadily and smoothly.

It was a cold autumn morning.Maya looked down,feeling embarrassed.To make it lovelier,she had delicately decorated the brace with pretty butterfly patterns.Still,she was unsure about others' reaction.All morning at school,kids kept glancing at her brace.To her relief,they didn't say anything.

In the classroom,Maya was drawing little green buds and pretty flowers when her friend Samir came over and sat by her.She felt his eyes fixed on her brace and heard him asking,“What's that for?” Not knowing what to say,Maya pretended she didn't hear him.After a few seconds of awkwardness,she glanced back at him,and found that he looked a little sad.

After lunch,the class set off.The nursing home was on a small hill and all of them walked there happily along the path.Maya found that the brace did make it easier for her to walk up.

Maya and Samir were paired up with a lady who was 83 years old.There at the end of the hall in a wheelchair,with a big smile on her face,sat the lady,wearing a pink coat,with red lipstick and beautiful earrings.She looked bright and full of life.Moving flexibly and fast towards Maya and Samir,she greeted first.“I'm Joan,” she said cheerfully.“Glad to meet you.”

Maya and Samir handed her the cards they made.Joan looked at Samir's card carefully and spoke with admiration,“You've written a poem! That's so artistic!” Samir's face reddened with shyness.Then Joan turned to Maya's picture.“The first flowers of spring!”she cried in delight.“You really have a gift for using color!” she said.Clearly,Joan's praise added great power to Maya.

注意：續寫詞數應為150左右。

Paragraph 1:

Inasuddenwaveofbravery,Mayaasked,“What'sitlikebeinginawheelchair?”

Paragraph 2:

DeeplyimpressedbyJoan,MayaofferedtositbesideSamironthebusridebackhome.

【評價導思】

1.我是否挖掘和捕捉到了原文的可續寫點？

2.續寫這篇文章的時候，我是否對原文的可續寫點進行了照應？

3.我在續寫時用了什么方法來潤色文章？