依托主題語(yǔ)境，重視續(xù)寫過(guò)程

廣東 龍艷琴

讀后續(xù)寫的語(yǔ)篇都是圍繞某一主題展開(kāi)的，因此我們?cè)趯懽鞯倪^(guò)程中，要以主題語(yǔ)境為依托來(lái)引領(lǐng)閱讀，進(jìn)而啟發(fā)我們的寫作。對(duì)主題意義的把握是讀后續(xù)寫非常重要的一部分，它關(guān)系到我們對(duì)語(yǔ)篇的理解，以及是否能準(zhǔn)確把握續(xù)寫的方向。

在續(xù)寫的過(guò)程中，我們要始終以主題語(yǔ)境為依托去解讀原文的基本信息，了解文章的情節(jié)、情感，構(gòu)思故事的發(fā)展方向，思考續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，只有這樣，才能續(xù)寫出符合故事情節(jié)發(fā)展的內(nèi)容。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

A young man went to visit the oldest and wisest man in the village for some advice on how he could become rich.

“Treasure is yours: at the top of Yonder Mountain,”advised the wise old man as he pointed to a tall mountain in the distance.“You must travel on foot to the top of the mountain.There you will find riches beyond your belief.Once you leave the top of the mountain,whatever remains will be lost forever.”

The young man could hardly wait until the morning when he was to meet with the wise old man for final instructions.When he arrived at the wise old man's home,he saw a long,thick log(原木)lying on the ground in front of the house.

“You must carry this log on your journey to the top of the mountain,and it is a necessary part of your journey.You must take it with you to the top of the mountain to claim your treasure,”explained the wise old man.

The young man was not pleased with this sudden surprise, but he respected the wise old man and as he lifted the long,heavy log onto his shoulders and struggled down the road towards the mountain,he realized that the trip would not be as easy as he thought.

After he was walking for a while,a woodsman came up to him and said,“It looks like that log is pretty heavy.Would you like me to cut some of it to make it lighter?”

The young man was very tired, so he said,“I suppose that a little bit cut off the end wouldn't hurt.”And the woodsman cut two inches off the end.

A while later, the young man met a farmer on his way back from the fields. And the farmer helped him cut another two inches off the end.

At the bottom of the mountain, the young man met a trapper (捕殺動(dòng)物者) who helped him cut four more inches off the log.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:

The young man continued to struggle to climb the mountain._____________________

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Paragraph 2:

The excited young man lay the log across the gap and discovered that it was too short to cover the distance.___________________________________________________________

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文本解讀

Step 1 Reading for the basic elements

When_Where_Who What_Why How Once________________________________________________________________________In a village___________________________________________________________________A young man,a wise old man,a woodsman,a farmer and a trapper________________________The wise old man told the young man how to become rich.The young man wanted to become rich._____________________________________________The wise old man instructed that the young man should carry a long,heavy log to reach the top of the mountain,where he could get the treasure he desired.

Step 2 Reading for the plots and emotions

?

Step 3 Conceiving possible plot developments

1.根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。

原文敘述了一位年輕人向一位充滿智慧的老人尋求建議，想知道如何變得富有。老人指著遠(yuǎn)處的高山，讓年輕人扛著一根又長(zhǎng)又重的木頭去山頂，說(shuō)那里有他想要的財(cái)寶。在路途中，年輕人覺(jué)得很累，因此接受了路人的友好幫助——砍掉了好幾塊木頭。然而當(dāng)年輕人到達(dá)山頂時(shí)，他才恍然大悟，原來(lái)那根木頭是有重要用途的，這時(shí)他才明白了老人的良苦用心。

2.根據(jù)續(xù)寫段落的段首句推測(cè)可能的續(xù)寫情節(jié)和內(nèi)容。

根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段的段首句“年輕人繼續(xù)努力攀登那座山”和續(xù)寫第二段的段首句“這個(gè)激動(dòng)的年輕人把木頭橫放在缺口上……”可推測(cè)，續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)描寫年輕人如何艱難地爬到山頂?shù)倪^(guò)程。

根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段的段首句“這個(gè)激動(dòng)的年輕人把木頭橫放在缺口上，發(fā)現(xiàn)它……”可知，續(xù)寫第二段可圍繞到達(dá)山頂之后，年輕人是否看到財(cái)寶，以及他扛上山的那根木頭最后有什么用進(jìn)行續(xù)寫。另外，為了突出主題，續(xù)寫第二段可在結(jié)尾處寫明年輕人最后明白了什么人生道理，進(jìn)而升華文章的主題意義。

3.圍繞續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句以及上面的分析進(jìn)行提問(wèn)構(gòu)思：

（1）How did the young man manage to get to the top of the mountain?

（2）What did he see in front of him and what did he do then?

（3）What does“the gap”in the next paragraph mean?

4.圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句以及上面的分析進(jìn)行提問(wèn)構(gòu)思：

（1）What did the young man discover then?Was it related to the log?

（2）Did the young man get the treasure laid there before?

（3）How did he feel and what did he realize in the end?

Step 4 Rereading and rethinking for the continuation points

___續(xù)寫點(diǎn)續(xù)寫時(shí)可照應(yīng)的內(nèi)容原文開(kāi)頭伏筆A young man went to visit the oldest and wisest man in the village for some ad-_____________vice on how he could become rich.續(xù)寫第二段要回應(yīng)前文，最后年輕人是否實(shí)現(xiàn)了夢(mèng)想，變得富有？沖突情節(jié)1.The young man could hardly wait to reach the top of the mountain but he had to carry the heavy log along with him.2. The woodsman, the farmer and the trapper helped cut the log but the log may be useful to the young man.主要人物的重要品質(zhì)The old man:wise,helpful,instructive The young man:opportunistic前文中，年輕人迫不及待地想要到達(dá)山頂獲得財(cái)寶，但他不得不扛著重重的木頭前行，續(xù)寫時(shí)要對(duì)此進(jìn)行回應(yīng)，解決這層沖突；同時(shí)，木頭作為文章的重要線索，一定有特殊的作用，而年輕人卻接受了路人的幫助，切掉了一些木塊，導(dǎo)致其被破壞，這勢(shì)必帶來(lái)不好的后_________________________________________________果，續(xù)寫時(shí)要體現(xiàn)出來(lái)。本文的主題立意是“成功需要腳踏實(shí)地地去努力、去奮斗，要拒絕走捷徑，拒絕誘惑”，續(xù)寫時(shí)，要照應(yīng)前文對(duì)主要人物的品質(zhì)的刻畫(huà)。原文結(jié)尾At the bottom of the mountain, the young man met a trapper who helped him cut four more inches off the log.續(xù)寫第一段要和原文保持空間上的銜接，年輕人如何從山腳爬到山頂，這個(gè)過(guò)程辛苦嗎？注意提示“a trapper helped him cut four more inches off the log”。

（續(xù)表）

Step 5 Referring to the end

Paragraph 1:

The young man continued to struggle to climb the mountain.With great difficulty,finally he arrived at the top where a great deal of treasure came to his sight.The young man couldn't help bursting out,“It is the most beautiful treasure I have ever seen!”However,what stood between him and his treasure was a wide opening in the earth which surrounded the mountain top. There was only one way to get across the opening. Now it became clear why the wise old man had given him this long log to carry on his journey.

Paragraph 2:

The excited young man lay the log across the gap and discovered that it was too short to cover the distance.Seeing the treasure that couldn't be reached, how he regretted allowing the woodsman, the farmer and the trapper to cut eight inches off the long, heavy log. After many vain tries, the young man had to leave the top with sadness and regret. As he turned to walk down to the mountain side,he looked back with tearful eyes and his treasure slowly disappeared. It was not until then that he came to the realization that whoever wants to achieve dreams must experience the struggles first.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

Once upon a time, there was a farmer living in the village with his wife and two sons.Every morning,he got up early to get water from the stream outside the village to his home.He carried the water in two pots that hung on either end of a pole balanced across shoulders.

One day,the farmer fell and the pots fell down to the ground.Luckily,only one of the pots got a crack in it and the other pot was perfect. From then on, the perfect pot always delivered a full portion of water from the stream, while the cracked pot always arrived at the house only half full.

For two years this went on, every day the farmer delivering one full and one half-full measures of water to his home.Naturally,the full pot was proud of its service,perfect to the end for which it had been made.But the poor cracked pot was unhappy and ashamed of its imperfection,miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure,the cracked pot spoke to the farmer by the stream one day.“I'm so ashamed of myself,”it said.“I want to apologize to you.”

“But why?”asked the farmer.

“For the past two years,”said the pot,“this crack in my side has let water leak out(滲漏) all the way to the house. You do the work carrying me from the stream to the house each day,but because of my disadvantage,you don't get full value from your effort,”sighed the sad pot. Kindly, the farmer told the distressed pot,“As we return to the house today,please notice the lovely flowers along the way.”

As they returned up the hill, the old cracked pot noticed the charming wild flowers

—the sun glistening (閃光)on their bright faces,the gentle wind bending their heads.But still, at the end of the trail, the faulty pot felt bad because it had again leaked out half its load,and again it apologized to the farmer for its failure.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:

The farmer said to the pot,“Didn't you notice that the flowers were only on your side of the path?”________________________________________________________________

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Paragraph 2:

After listening to what the farmer said, the cracked pot finally understood and felt happy.__________________________________________________________________

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【評(píng)價(jià)導(dǎo)思】

1.續(xù)寫故事符合原文的主旨嗎？

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2.故事的結(jié)尾反映了什么樣的主題？是否可以觸動(dòng)心靈，發(fā)人深省？

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3.對(duì)比你的文章和范文，兩者有哪些異同？

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