YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS?(B UT YOUPROBABLYWON’TLIKE THEM)SHE’SGOTANSWERS

I like sharing photos of interesting architecture and art exhibitions on my Xiaohongshu account.Do you know any cool places in Beijing? My followers would love it!

Artsy Anna

You! You are one of those 討人嫌的 (tǎorénxián de,annoying people) who入侵 (rùqīn,invade) my hutong! Thanks to those 騙人的 (piànrén de,deceiving) filters on your 照片兒 (zhàopiānr,photographs),I can’t go two steps outside my house without seeing a 網紅 (wǎnghóng,viral) spot!These obnoxious youths 擁堵 (yōngdǔ,swamp) our narrow alleyway every weekend,posing for photos and call it 打卡(dǎkǎ,“punch the card,”take photos as proof of visiting a place)! Just leave us alone! Go to 798 or 草場地 (Cǎochǎngdì)art district,or that 潮流 (cháoliú,trendy) shopping mall to see those 千奇百怪 (qiānqí bǎiguài,“hundreds and thousands of strange things,”most bizarre) exhibitions.Back in my day,藝術為人民服務 (Yìshù wèi rénmín fúwù,art serves the people),but now it just confuses people! But since all you do is 走馬觀花 (zǒumǎ guānhuā,“looking at flowers on horseback,”gain a superficial understanding through a brief look) and take selfies,just make sure your phone is charged and stop coming into my courtyard to borrow a充電寶 (chōngdiànbǎo,portable charger)!

My 65-year-old widowed mother met a 70-year-old widower in Renmin Park three months ago,and they want to get married! Can you believe it?! How can I dissuade her?

Nah Nate

Deal with it! It’s not like you listened to your parents when they told you not to marry that woman who they think is 配不上你 (pèi bu shàng nǐ,not good enough for you).Or do you think your 面子 (miànzi,face) will be hurt? Then you have a bigger 封建思想 (fēngjiàn sīxiǎng,“feudal ideas”) problem than me! You think she should just follow 三從四德(sāncóng sìdé,“The Three Obediences and Four Virtues,”a Confucian rule-book governing female behavior in ancient China) and obey you as the man of the house?! Haven’t you heard the folk saying 天要下雨，娘要嫁人 (Tiān yào xiàyǔ,niáng yào jiàrén.It rains when Heaven deems fit,mother remarries when she wants to)? There is nothing you can do about it.Although why she wants to get another husband is beyond me;hasn’t she done enough 照顧人 (zhàogù rén,taking care of people) and 家務 (jiāwù,housework) already?

Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com