How to Communicate Healthfully

◎供稿：Juno

人際關系是學習、工作和生活中的重要組成部分，良好的人際關系往往建立在良好的人際溝通上。溝通作為一個重要的人際交往技巧，在日常生活中的運用非常廣泛，影響也很大。學會以下方法可以幫助我們進行更好的溝通。

1.Engage in verbal communication

The easiest way to meet people，is to start a conversation.Research shows that communication，even when required，actually makes us happier and have a more positive outlook on people generally.Be1)assertive [??s??t?v] adj.堅定自信的assertive.Assertiveness is about talking about your thoughts and feelings in2)appropriate [??pr??pri?t] adj.適當的；恰當的appropriateand respectful ways.Be honest.Be3)transparent [tr?ns?p?r?nt] adj.透明的transparentwith people about who you are.People can sense honesty，and it encourages them to trust you.Additionally，beginning a relationship with lies means those lies have to be maintained from then on，and increases the risk of the lie being exposed，compromising the relationship.Ask open-ended questions.Get people to talk about themselves.Not only does this enable sharing，trust and intimacy，but it helps you guide the conversation toward topics that are comfortable for you.

2.Listen

Listening is the first step to building a strong4)rapport [r??p?:(r)] n.融洽；和諧rapportwith others.It shows that we value who they are as well as what is being said.Some keys to good listening are: Maintain eye contact.This doesn’t mean staring，but it does mean focusing your attention on the companion as opposed to your phone or a person across the room.Maintain appropriate body language.Don’t5)fidget [?f?d??t] v.坐立不安；煩躁fidgetor check your watch.Nod when the other person makes a relevant point.Your body language can help6)reinforce [?ri??n?f??s] v.加固；加強reinforceconfidence in your companion.Don’t interrupt.Let the other person finish before asking “May I ask/add something?” You can，however，show that you are listening by nodding and making affirming noises，like “Uhhuh，” or saying something like，“I see.” Keep an open-mind.Demonstrate that you respect the other person，in spite of points on which you may not agree.Don’t let fear or bias guide your communication.

3.Resolve conflicts in healthy ways

Conflict，even between like-minded people，is inevitable，and when we are7)frustrated [fr??stre?t?d] adj.挫敗的frustrated，it can be easy to say things and act in ways that reflect that frustration and not our values.In order to resolve conflict constructively，there are several ways in below: Avoid aggressive body action (such as pointing in someone’s face，standing too close，rolling the eyes，etc.) or language.Ask questions and present views fairly.Always remind the other person that you respect his views and the right to have them.

1.進行對話交流

與人成為朋友最簡單的方法，就是開始交流。研究表明，與人溝通，即使有時是強制要求，實際上也會讓我們更快樂，對他人有更積極的看法。與人交流要自信。自信是指以適當和尊重的方式談論你的想法和感受。與人交流要誠實。對他人坦誠地表達出真實的自己。人們可以感受到誠實，這反過來會鼓勵他們信任你。此外，以謊言開始一段關系意味著這些謊言必須從此持續下去，這增加了謊言被揭穿的風險，對關系不利。與人交流要提出開放式問題。讓人們談論自己，這不僅有助于實現分享、信任和親密的關系，還可以幫助你將對話引導到適合你的話題。

2.傾聽

傾聽是與他人建立良好關系的第一步。這表明我們重視他們是誰以及他們所說的內容。良好傾聽的關鍵是：保持眼神交流——這并不意味著盯著對方看，但它確實意味著將注意力集中在同伴身上，而不是你的手機或另一邊的人；保持適當的肢體語言——不要坐立不安或檢查手表，當對方提出相關觀點時點頭，你的肢體語言可以幫助加強同伴的信心；不要中途打斷他人——讓對方說完，然后再問“我可以問/補充一些東西嗎”，你可以通過點頭和發出肯定的聲音來表明你正在傾聽，比如“嗯”，或者說“我明白了”；保持開放的心態——盡管你可能不同意這些觀點，但你應尊重對方，不要讓恐懼或偏見引導你的溝通。

3.以健康的方式解決沖突

即使是志同道合的人之間，沖突也是不可避免的。當我們感到沮喪時，我們的言行很容易反映這種挫折感，而這不是我們真實的價值觀。為了建設性地解決沖突，或可嘗試以下幾種方式：避免攻擊性的肢體動作（如指著別人的臉、站得太近、翻白眼等）或語言；公平地提出問題和觀點；始終提醒對方，你尊重他的觀點和擁有這些觀點的權利。