“戰俘”

文/穆納·法迪勒 譯/程颋

Sahira was standing in the doorframe,watching her father grow transparent1transparent透明的，此處為反光或強光干擾導致人眼看不清東西。as the morning sun glowed in her bleach-white2bleach white漂白色，一種比較亮的純白色。kitchen.He sat at the marble table, gutting3gut取出……的內臟，此處為拆開某物，取出內部部件。a radio transistor.The sun washed right through4wash through（陽光）照過；（水）流經，淹沒。him.Sahira reached out for him, but Saleh shrugged away5shrug away避開，不理睬，置之不理。and disappeared like a mirage6mirage海市蜃樓；幻想。against the white walls.

早晨的陽光照進了漂白色的廚房，薩希拉站在門框里，看著父親的身影變得透明起來。他坐在大理石桌旁，正在拆收音機的晶體管，陽光恰好從他身上照過去。薩希拉向他伸出手，薩利赫卻避開了，就像白墻映襯下的幻影那樣消失了。

2薩利赫總是對周圍的電子產品感到驚訝，它們看上去和他二十年前剛被伊朗人俘虜時完全不一樣。現在，他大部分時間都花在研究這些電子產品上了。當初他被囚禁時，事物總是一成不變的，同樣的故事囚犯們互相講了一百遍還假裝是第一次聽到。薩希拉沖他微笑了一下。他看上去就像一個小男孩，沉迷于手頭的活計。薩希拉走到水池邊，把蔬菜洗凈瀝干。

2Saleh was constantly amazed by the electronic gadgets around him.They looked nothing like they had when he was first caught by the Iranians twenty years before.Now, he spent most of his days discovering them.In captivity, everything had been the same.Prisoners exchanged the same stories for the hundredth time and pretended to be hearing them afresh.Sahira smiled at him.He looked like a little boy, consumed by7be consumed by沉迷于，專注于。the task at hand.She walked to the sink to wash and drain her greens.

3Sahira had been five when Saleh was captured, twenty-three when he was released.Sahira and her mother waited as the first, second, and third round of prisoners of war exchanged between Iraq and Iran, long after the end of the eight-year war.They asked returning prisoners if they had met Saleh, if they had known him.No one had.Sahira’s mother died in 1996.Saleh made it out in 1998.

3薩利赫被俘時，薩希拉才5歲，等到他被釋放時，薩希拉已經23歲了。8年戰爭結束后的很長時間里，薩希拉和媽媽一直等著伊拉克和伊朗交換戰俘，她們等到了第一輪，等到了第二輪，又等到了第三輪。她們詢問回來的戰俘見沒見過薩利赫，認不認識薩利赫。沒人見過他也沒人認識他。1996年，薩希拉的媽媽去世了。1998年，薩利赫獲釋。

4That winter, Sahira slept three nights in her car at Al Nusoor Square in Baghdad, where it was promised the last of the POWs8POW = prisoner of war戰俘。would be brought home.Sahira brought an old ID photo of her father, which she’d enlarged and put in a bright gold frame.Sahira hoped that, even if Saleh didn’t recognize her,he’d at least recognize his old self.Sahira slouched9slouch低頭垂肩地、無精打采地站、坐或走。down in the seat of her car, pulled her sleeves to cover her cold fingertips, and dozed off.She woke up when her car began rocking as people squeezed past it in the mayhem10mayhem混亂，騷亂。.The crowds made her car move with them.

4那個冬天，在巴格達的阿爾努蘇爾廣場，薩希拉在車里睡了三個晚上。政府說好了要在這個廣場讓最后一批戰俘回家。薩希拉帶了一張父親的舊證件照，她把這張照片放大了，鑲在一個亮金色的相框里。薩希拉希望就算薩利赫認不出她，至少他認得出過去的自己。薩希拉窩在車座上，拉長袖子蓋住冰涼的手指尖，打起了瞌睡。混亂中人群從她的車旁擠過去，車開始搖晃起來，薩希拉就醒了。她的車被擁擠的人流裹挾著，隨之移動。

5起初，當監獄的大門猛地打開，看守用波斯語沖著他們大聲叫喊讓他們出去時，薩利赫并不相信他們要被釋放了。他和獄友都認為他們會被處決。一個還抱著希望的人問：“你覺得他們是讓我們走嗎？”“閉嘴！”薩利赫給了他一巴掌。俘虜在看守的押送下排成縱隊走出去。外面的世界亮得刺眼。薩利赫渴望看到天空，但天空太明亮了，晃得他睜不開眼睛。看守把新衣服扔給他們，讓他們換上，這時候薩利赫開始琢磨了。他從舊襯衣上撕下一條布藏起來，打算如果希望落空，他就勒死自己。之后薩利赫和其他人被送上大客車，車上有軟墊座椅。薩利赫有1 8年沒在軟墊上坐過了，他把雙手的手掌按在座墊上哭了起來。他知道，他們要回家了。

5At first, Saleh didn’t believe it when the prison doors flung11fling猛擲；狠拋。open and the guards yelled at them in Farsi to get out.Saleh thought, as his cellmates did, that they would be executed.“Do you think they’re letting us go?” one hopeful man asked.“Shut up!” Saleh slapped him.They walked them outside, single file.The outside world was blindingly bright.Saleh was hungry to see sky,but it was brighter than his eyes could handle.When they threw new clothes at them and told them to change, Saleh began to wonder.He tore off a strip of his old shirt and hid it: if this was false hope12false hope虛假的希望。, he was going to strangle himself.Then Saleh and the others were put in buses that had padded seats.Saleh had not sat on a cushion in eighteen years.He pushed the palms of his hands into the padding and cried.He knew then that they were going home.

6 “Bushra!”

“Daddy! Here!” They embraced and lost track of time.The crowds roared around them.

“Bushra!” Saleh was about to kiss Sahira on the lips.

6 “布莎拉！”

“爸爸！我在這兒！”他們擁抱在一起，不知過了多久，周圍是又喊又叫的人群。

“布莎拉！”薩利赫想親吻薩希拉的嘴唇。

“爸爸，是我，薩希拉。媽媽她……”薩希拉欲言又止。薩利赫好像觸電了一樣把胳膊從女兒身上拿開。薩希拉，那個緊緊抱著他的腿，當他在屋里走動時，隨著他的腿上下擺動，晃著一頭卷發咯咯笑的小姑娘。“薩希拉，”薩利赫親了一下她的前額，“我沒認出是你。”

“Daddy, it’s me, Sahira.Mommy she…” Sahira hesitated.Saleh pulled his arms off his daughter as though he’d been electrocuted13electrocute使觸電死亡；用電刑處死。.Sahira, his tiny girl who’d clung to his leg, giggling and shaking her curly hair as he swung his leg up and down, walking across a room.“Sahira.” Saleh placed a kiss on her forehead.“I didn’t recognize you.”

7“Daddy?” Saleh looked up as Sahira dried her hands on a towel.“Lunch is ready for when you’re hungry.All you have to do is heat it.OK? I have to go to work.Do you need anything? OK?OK.” Sahira had her usual one-sided conversation.She patted his head as she walked past him to grab her coat and purse.“Don’t leave the house, OK? And call me if you need anything.”

7“爸爸？”薩利赫聞聲抬起頭來，薩希拉正在用毛巾擦手上的水。“午飯準備好了，你餓了就吃，熱熱就行，知道了嗎？我得去上班了。你還需要什么嗎？嗯？好。”像往常一樣，就薩希拉自己一個人在說話。她經過薩利赫拿外套和手提包時，拍了拍他的頭。“別出門，好嗎？需要什么就給我打電話。”

8Saleh was too consumed by the radio’s inner workings14inner workings內部運行方式，內部工作原理。to be bothered.Saleh heard the sound of the bolt once,then twice, and then his daughter’s footsteps moving away.Saleh carefully reached down to feel if the padding in the chair under him was real.He then got up and closed the curtains to block out the blinding sun.■

8薩利赫正在專心琢磨收音機內部是怎么運轉的，顧不上搭理女兒。他聽見門閂先響了一聲，接著又響了一聲，然后是女兒漸漸遠去的腳步聲。薩利赫小心翼翼地摸了摸身下椅子的襯墊，看看它是不是真的，然后起身拉上了窗簾，把刺眼的陽光擋在外面。 □