Jokes Today

高原

1.Judge： I don't understand why you broke into the same store three nights in a row？

Prisoner： Well， your Honour， I picked out a dress for my wife， and I had to change it twice.

2.Auntie： Well， Gordon， suppose there were only two pieces of cake left—a large piece and a small one. Which piece would you give to your brother？

Gordon： Do you mean my big brother or my little one？

3.Simon： Which side of the bed do you sleep on？

Dopey Dan： The top side， of course.

4.Man （in restaurant）： Excuse me， waiter， how long have you been working here？

Waiter： About two months， sir.

Man： Oh， then it couldn't have been you who took my order.

5.Little Diana was standing in front of her mirror with her eyes closed.

“Why are you standing there with your eyes closed？” asked her brother.

“So I can see what I'm like when I'm asleep，” she replied.

6.“Mummy， we're pretending to be elephants at the zoo. Will you help us？”

“Of course， dear. What am I to do？”

“Well， you're the lady who feeds us buns.”

7.Girl （standing in the middle of a busy road）： Officer， can you tell me how to get to the hospital？

Policeman： Just stay right where you are.

8.The muddled old gentleman went up to another man at the conference. “I hardly recognised you，” he said. “You've changed so much. Your hair is different; you seem shorter; you've done away with your glasses. What's happened to you， Mr. Frost？”

“But I'm not Mr. Frost.”

“Amazing！ You've even changed your name！”