My Lockdown Reflections

By Luc Pauwels [Belgium]

Luc Pauwels has worked as an educator in China since 1999,developing schools in Tianjin, Xi’an, and Wuhan. Luc married a Wuhanese beauty in 2003 and has made Wuhan his home.On January 14, 2020,Luc and his wife left Wuhan for Paris for a three-week holiday in Europe, which unexpectedly was prolonged for months.Here is a collection of inspirations and thoughts of his during the lockdown.

Quarantine is a frustrating period—and we all know that—but it is also a time to reflect.

1

Mom is still my teacher

From March 15, 2020 on, with full lockdown being implemented around Europe, it was not up to me to make travel decisions.I had to be patient, prudent,responsible, and above all, keep calm.

It’s just amazing how a quarantine period can nail you down to the floor. However, this does allow us to reflect, look back,and more importantly, think about life and what is important.

Every day I call my mother,asking how she has spent her day and how she’s feeling. At the age of 85, she is still in a good shape,making daily walks along the Belgian coastline, although the pandemic has scared her. “I don’t want to get infected, pass away,and not being able to see and talk to the people I love,” she told me on the phone.

Her words touched me and made me pause a moment.By “people I love,” she meant her two sons, two grandchildren,close friends, one or two neighbors, and Harry, an 86-yearold friend who brings her the newspaper every Saturday.During this lockdown, Harry has had to stay home, just like my mother, so she doesn’t get her newspaper on Saturday.

Luc’s wife and mother

Luckily, my mother or Harry can always call the city, who then arranges volunteers to go shopping for them. “Make sure you disinfect boxes and packages and wash the vegetables and fruits well,” I said to my mother.

I know she has enough time to disinfect and wash packages,fruits, and vegetables in order to reduce the risk of getting COVID-19, and essentially to avoid passing away in solitude and isolation.

“I still want to live two more years,” she told me.

I smiled, “Make it ten more years.”

On April 7, 2020, I received a text message from my elderly mother: “My dearest people, I just want to tell you that I made a lovely smoothie out of two kiwis,two apples, two oranges, and some ginger. This time I have no other choice than to drink it by myself, but next time we’ll drink it together. Kisses.”

Isn’t it wonderful how a lockdown is bringing people together? At 85 my mother is still my teacher for life.

2

Thoughts in May

The lockdown is taking its toll,with stress, frustration, and loneliness becoming part of daily life. The willingness to write long diary passages has disappeared completely. Life is hard, so I tried connecting with friends and friends-of-friends on a more philosophical level. Here are some of the thoughts going through my mind:

Day 1: No need to return to normal because the normal that we had was exactly the problem.

Day 2: Turn a second into a minute, a minute into an hour,and you will live a longer life.

Day 3: The stars never shine.

Day 4: Yesterday is always better, and tomorrow is always brighter.

Day 5: “Back to basics” is a slow song.

Day 6: The thin line between right and wrong is neither right nor wrong.

Day 7: Empty pockets are my salvage.

Day 8: Imagine your own reflection standing in front of you and hug them. You deserve it!

Day 9: Nature and humans are definitely not the best friends as Nature is utterly happy when humans are locked down.

Day 10: Providing support to someone is like paying off all of your debts.

3

I want to be back to China

It is June 7, 2020, and it has been almost five months now that I have been locked in. I’ve been locked out, or should I say blocked out, of my professional and social life! And still we—me and tens of thousands of other foreign teachers and school administrators—do not know when we will be able to return to China and resume work.

It is hard not being able to plan our days, weeks, and months ahead. Things come on a daily basis, with irritation and frustration. More and more people around me seem to have the same pandemic stress symptoms. It is a kind of fatigue,burn-out, or disinterest in what we used to love to do.

So, I’m begging China, please let us back in, so that we can work together in a proper way to turn schools into happy learning communities again.

Tonight, I will burn a candle,clap my hands, and hang my textbooks out the window to show respect to all those foreign teachers and school administrators that are stranded somewhere.

Since mid-August, foreigners are slowly returning to their workplaces in China, creating hope that life will soon resume a more normal mode. For now,Luc's wish is to resume his work in China, and to continue to support China’s development. After 21 years of living and working in China, his love and passion for this country is still alive.

4

Bubbles

From the month of May on,people in Belgium were allowed to form a bubble of five people or less. Luc chose to bubble with his wife, mother, brother, and sister-in-law. At the end of June,the bubble of five was expanded to a bubble of 15. Unfortunately,this resulted in an increase in the number of new infections, so by August the restriction of a bubble of five was reinstated. Nowadays people wear a mask when going out onto the street, on public transport, or into shops, bars, and restaurants. Keeping distance has become the standard.

We are seemingly living in a world of bubbles, with each bubble made up of a limited number of people that are well connected and familiar with each other.

The first family gathering in months in July, two weeks before the government reinstating the restriction of a bubble of five

The people in a bubble are seen as low-risk in terms of getting infected and/or infecting others around them with the novel coronavirus.

Looking at my bubbles—three in total—they contain relatives and friends, all people I talk to on the phone with or send social media messages to besides sporadic encounters.

But what about all the other people in this world? Am I excluding them from my daily communication and encounter patterns?

Did I stop talking to people on the bus, tram, train or in shops just because they are not part of my bubbles?

My response to all these questions is YES. Yes, I stopped connecting with people outside my bubbles. Yes, I exclude!

Bubbles have become the norm and comfort zone, while everyone else has become a danger.

That’s exactly what worries me. Instead of excluding I have to include people, talk again to commuters, shoppers, or just anyone near me.

“Hi, how are you?”

“Are you coping well with the lockdown?”

“Hope your parents are ok?”

“I’m off now, see you!”

I’ll get started connecting with people now, in and outside of my bubbles.

How about you?