持久的愛：50年之后依然相戀

愛情，是個神秘的詞匯。而說到永恒之愛，大多數人可能會質疑它的存在。世界上真有這樣的愛情嗎？一組婚齡至少在50年以上的多對老年夫妻照片證明，真愛不會隨時間流逝。

Love as Her Grandparents

宛如祖父母的愛戀

For the past six years Lauren Fleishman has been cap-turing the moments between couples that tell the story of a lifetime spent together. Fleishman， an American photographer living in Paris， began the project when her grandfather died. “I found a book next to his bed that had love letters in it，”she says. “They were love letters he had written to my grand-mother during World War II.”

Fleishman says the letters revealed a side of her grand-father that was new to her：as a young man with his whole life ahead of him. “The letters spoke of a young love，”she says， “the type that was filled with the expectations and the joy of the life they wereabout to embark on together.”

Fleishman decided to photo-graph and interview couples who had been married for longer than 50 years. She began by going to“senior”dances in Brooklyn， where she lived， and would seek couples who looked like her own grandparents. “At the time I realised I was no longer a granddaughter-my grandfather had been my last living grandparent-and I definitely felt a sense of loss.”Fleishman found that as well as providing rich material for her book， The Lovers， spending time with these people who told her their stories and baked her cakes gave her some sort of comfort at a time when she was grieving.

The point of the project， Fleishman says， was to portray these men and women as they see themselves：not as“old people”， but as people who are still in love after 50， 60 years.“I wasnt looking at them in terms of their age，”she says.“I was looking at them in terms of their love. Theyre not really photographs of old people. Theyre photographs of people in love.”

Its certainly true that we dont often see images of people in their seventies and eighties in which their age or infirmity isnt the focus. But in Fleishmans photographs you can see past the wrinkles， the Zimmer frames and the chintzy interiors-what you get is a portrait of enduring love.

Tip：勞倫·弗萊什曼是一名現居法國巴黎的美國攝影師。在過去的六年里，弗菜什曼一直致力于用相機來記錄相伴終生的老年夫妻們的愛情故事。這個創意源于弗萊什曼的個人經歷：祖父去世后，弗萊什曼偶然在祖父床頭的一本書里發現他寫給祖母的情書，這些情書寫于二戰期間，表現了年輕人的愛戀，充滿對未來的美好期待，以及要與祖母攜手創造快樂生活的愿望，這是弗萊什曼完全不了解的。祖父的去世讓弗菜什曼意識到她失去了最后一位祖父母輩的親人，這讓她感到非常失落，于是萌發了采訪婚齡超過50年的伴侶并為他們拍照的想法。她開始從身邊尋找，特地去了在自己居住的紐約布魯克林區專門為老年人開設的舞蹈班，尋找與祖父母年齡相仿的老年夫妻，對合適的對象進行采訪。采訪過程中聽到這些伴侶們娓娓道來他們的戀愛經過，給弗萊什曼的內心帶來了一絲安慰。弗萊什曼強調拍攝這些老年夫妻的重點并非“老年人”，而是他們“眼中的彼此”，展現的是經過歲月洗禮后仍然保有的愛。她說：“我從他們身上看到的不是年齡，而是這些結婚超過五六十年的夫妻依然相愛的感覺。”

Love Stories About These Old Couples 他們的愛情故事

Before photographing the couples， Fleishman would interview them at home， with the couples describing the first time they met， their first date， their wedding day. They are stories of a more innocent time. Fred and Frances Futterman， pictured side by side at their piano， have been married for 66 years. Their first date was a bus ride to Manhattan from Brooklyn and back again. Another woman who was married in 1959 says her first marital home in Wyoming had no running water. There are stories of dancing the jitterbug and the jive with soldiers during the war and of scribbling phone numbers in lipstick on a matchbook.

Once Fleishman managed to get funding for her book， she began travelling first across America to find couples， then abroad. Before arriving somewhere， she would try to track down couples in advance. Fleishman wrote to the local media after reading an article about Jake and Mary Jacobs from So-lihull and was given their phone number. Jake came to Britain from Trinidad when he was 17 and joined the RAF. Mary Ja-cobs says their romance was“forbidden”because of Jakes race and when Jake asked， “Would it ever be possible for me to marry you？”her answer was， “Possible， but not probable.”“It wasnt likely that I would ever marry him， and he knew that，”she says. After the war Jake went back to Trinidad and Mary says her parents“breathed a sigh of relief”. A few years later， however， Jake returned to England. They have been married for over 60 years.

Elisabeth and Eric MacKay， from Lenzie in Scotland， became part of the project when Fleishman emailed a church to ask if it knew any couples married for a long time. Eric MacKays father was initially against their romance because they were of different denominations：Elisabeths family was Church of England， while Erics was Church of Scotland. Eventually， though， the couple married on 28 August 1956.? Elisabeth told Fleishman， “Sometimes he makes me cross but not very often.”

Fleishman says interviewing the couples before getting her camera out gave her a sense of what sort of picture might represent them best. She photographed Gino and Angie Terranova kissing because“there was something about the way they fitted together”. Moses and Tessie Rubenstein， married in 1942， are pictured hugging tightly. Moses says， “Id hate to leave my little wife here. And shed hate to leave me.”

One of the most poignant photographs is of Yaakov and Mariya Shapirshteyn wearing their swimming costumes on the beach. Perhaps its the familiar way that Mariya leans into her husband， or because in most family photo albums its possible to trace the arc of a lifetime in pictures taken on a beach， from first holidays as a baby to pictures of those babies as grandparents building sandcastles with their grandchildren.

Tip：在給這些老年夫妻拍照之前，弗萊什曼會先去他們的家中進行采訪，請他們談談戀愛過程中有哪些印象比較深刻，比如初次相遇，初次約會，結婚當天的情形等。照片中并肩而坐，正在談鋼琴的福特曼夫妻，結婚已經66年了。他們的初次約會是乘坐大巴往返于曼哈頓和布魯克林。弗萊什曼曾讀過一篇關于雅各布斯夫婦的文章，并設法與他們取得了聯系。由于種族原因，這對夫婦戀愛之初便受到了阻撓。戰爭迫使兩人分離，但并沒有阻斷兩人的感情。幾年之后，杰克·雅各布斯返回英國與瑪麗重逢，現在他們的婚齡已經超過60年。弗萊什曼稱，之所以在拍攝前采訪這些夫妻，是因為這會讓她找到一種感覺，知道從哪個角度能最好地呈現他們的狀態。

Love Gets Deeper as Time Goes by

日久彌堅的愛情

When Fleishman asked the couples the secret of their love， many suggested it was tolerance and an acceptance that love changes. Frances Futterman says， “As you grow older， love changes. It changes because we change.”Another woman says that， while“romance”now entails her husband helping her down stairs， “when we go out on Saturday I still feel like were dating”. Dorothy Bolotin， photographed with his‘nhers Zimmer frame， puts it more succinctly：“In love， hot romance doesnt last forever.”

Many of the couples admitted it hadnt always been easy. “There were moments when they said， ‘People didnt get divorced back then-not that I havent thought about it， ”says Fleishman with a laugh. “Everybody has those moments， but for whatever reason they stuck at it.”

Fleishman， who is engaged， says the couples have taught her a valuable lesson. “From what Ive gathered， what they say is that love gets deeper as the years progress.”And for most， its not the length of time together but the happiness within it that counts.“I never think of it in terms of years，”says Dorothy Bolotin.“I think in terms of good years.”

Tip：當弗萊什曼問起這些老年夫妻愛情保鮮秘訣時，很多人都提到了寬容對方，以及接受愛情會隨時間產生變化。其中一位男士認為“隨著年齡的增長，愛也會隨著我們自身的變化而變化。”另外一位女士則認為“浪漫”就是讓老伴攙扶自己下樓梯，說“每當我們周六一同外出時，仍然覺得像是在約會。”還有一位女士用精辟的語言總結道，“在愛情中，狂熱的浪漫不會持久。”很多老年夫妻承認，讓愛情保鮮并不簡單，也不是沒有動過離婚的念頭，但出于種種原因就又堅持下去了。已經訂婚的弗萊什曼認為，通過與這些夫妻交談溝通，讓她學到了寶貴的一課：對于大多數相伴終身的夫妻來說，最關鍵的不是兩人在一起的時間有多長，而是在一起時有多快樂，或許這才是歷久彌堅的愛情的根基。

編后記：愛情，并非年輕人的專利。如果說年輕人花前月下，是在為愛情尋尋覓覓;中年人四處奔波，是在為愛情辛勤勞累;那么，愛情真正的成熟卻是在老年。唯有歷經滄桑才能感悟愛情的真諦，細細品味愛情的甜蜜。這種甜蜜蘊藏在行走中的相互扶持，蘊藏在身體不適時的杯水勺羹，蘊藏在老年夫妻相濡以沫的生活細節里。雖然激情終將歸于平淡，但那些共同走過的如歌歲月，共同經歷過的風霜雪雨會化作最美好的回憶，令他們攜手相伴，一生的相知相守讓他們彼此珍惜，愛情從中得到了延續，或許這就是永恒之愛最美麗的注腳。