Patience Is a Chinese Virtue

By Lu Qiutian

When visiting China for the first time, most Europeans are usually curious about many things in China—and sometimes even feel a little perplexed.For example,a banner is often seen here and there on which it reads, “Bearing fewer kids and planting more trees, to a moderately prosperous society are the keys.” They don't understand the relationship between childbirth and tree planting.

A friend of mine once told me that only three Europeans in history really knew the Chinese way of thinking, and they alone introduced it to the world.They were the 13th-century explorer Marco Polo, 16thcentury missionary Matteo Ricci, and modern scholar Joseph Needham.The former two were Italians, and the latter is British.

Europeans generally find themselves less patient than Chinese when they work together.Before coming to China, Europeans will often consult a China expert for advice.These “China Hands” would suggest that they should keep patient in order to maintain a good relationship with the Chinese—otherwise, they will get nowhere.

歐洲人初來(lái)中國(guó)，會(huì)對(duì)許多事情感到好奇，進(jìn)而迷惑不解。比如標(biāo)語(yǔ)“少生孩子多種樹(shù)，快快奔上小康路”，他們不理解為什么要把生孩子和種樹(shù)聯(lián)系起來(lái)。

有位朋友曾對(duì)我說(shuō)，真正了解、介紹中國(guó)人思維方式的歐洲人只有3 個(gè)，即13世紀(jì)的馬可·波羅、16世紀(jì)的利瑪竇、當(dāng)代的李約瑟。前兩位是意大利人，后者是英國(guó)人。

同中國(guó)人交往，歐洲人普遍感到在耐心方面遠(yuǎn)不如中國(guó)人。歐洲人來(lái)華前，往往會(huì)去請(qǐng)教當(dāng)?shù)貪h學(xué)家。這些“中國(guó)通”往往會(huì)告誡他們，同中國(guó)人打交道，必須有耐心，否則會(huì)一事無(wú)成。

我找到一些熟悉的歐洲朋友，請(qǐng)他們談?wù)勥@種差別究竟在哪里。

有的朋友說(shuō)：“歐洲人談話(huà)，很快就能進(jìn)入實(shí)質(zhì)問(wèn)題，因?yàn)闀r(shí)間就是金錢(qián)。我們的中國(guó)伙伴，往往先敘友誼再談天氣，寒暄不止，這樣確實(shí)能創(chuàng)造良好的氣氛，如果談多了，就會(huì)使人很不耐煩。”

另一個(gè)朋友說(shuō)：“一個(gè)項(xiàng)目談了半天，我還不知道哪位是真正的決策人，好像每個(gè)人都是，又好像每個(gè)人都不是。至于項(xiàng)目的審批更是‘馬拉松’，不知終點(diǎn)在哪里。”

還有朋友說(shuō)：“有時(shí)，中方答復(fù)說(shuō)可以予以‘積極考慮’，過(guò)了一兩個(gè)星期甚至一兩個(gè)月，我們?cè)偃?wèn)時(shí)，仍然在‘積極考慮’。‘積極考慮’和‘消極考慮’的界線，究竟何在呢？”

他們說(shuō)：“撇開(kāi)辦事這一點(diǎn)，從談話(huà)方式、考慮問(wèn)題的角度、處理事情的態(tài)度，以至動(dòng)作手勢(shì)和感情表達(dá)方面，我們與你們都有不同。造成這種差異的原因，可能是地域環(huán)境，與氣候、陽(yáng)光有關(guān)，也可能與農(nóng)業(yè)社會(huì)和工業(yè)社會(huì)整體環(huán)境生活節(jié)奏有關(guān)，從而造成民族思維方式的差異，形成不同的時(shí)間觀念和效率觀念。”

I have discussed the different levels of patience of two cultures with some European friends.

“Europeans tend to get straight to the point, because time is money for them,” some remarked, “while our Chinese partners like to greet a lot by talking about friendship and weather conditions before going to business-related questions.It is a good way to build a good atmosphere, but it often challenges one's patience to do so.”

“When a subject is hotly debated during negotiations, I cannot see who is the decision maker,” another European friend added.“It seems that everyone is, yet nobody is.As regards the approval of a project, it is quite a marathon which seems to have no end.”

“Sometimes, the Chinese counterpart responds that they will consider it actively, but after a couple of weeks, or even a few months, they reply that it is still under active consideration.Active or passive, what is the demarcation?”

“In addition, Europeans are different in many aspects in terms of the manner of speaking and thinking, attitudes to dealing with problems, body language, and their expression of feelings,” one friend observed.“The reasons for such differences lie in the geographical conditions, climate, and sunshine, and perhaps even the life style differences in agricultural and industrial societies.These factors contribute a lot to the different mindset between nations and cultures, which result in differing conceptions of time and efficiency.”

There is a more interesting explanation: language determines the speed of psychological response.One European friend of mine who has profound understanding of China said, “Generally speaking, most European languages' alphabet consists of about 26 letters, which is easy for learners to remember.So it is common for a European to master at least one or two foreign languages.By contrast, the Chinese language is different.In the 42-volume Chinese dictionary compiled during the reign of Emperor Kangxi (1654-1722) of the Qing Dynasty (1644-1911), scholars collected 60,000 characters, among them the commonly-used ones surpassed 3000.Chinese people must memorize these complicated words one by one beginning in childhood.Chinese characters are the only ancient written symbols combining language and art that are still used today, with Chinese calligraphy as a unique cultural element in the modern world.Therefore, when Europeans find things hard to tackle, they would describe it ‘a(chǎn)s hard as learning Chinese characters.'

“On the other hand, Chinese characters play an important role in strengthening national solidarity.The unity of characters can be a fundamental reason for the fact that, during thousands of years in history, Chinese people were not assimilated into foreign cultures.

“In addition, Chinese characters have fostered patience of Chinese people who, at an early age, memorize a multitude of words by practicing writing them.Don't you Chinese have such a saying as ‘ten years of hard study by a cold window'? The ten years' hardship is right the cradle of patience.”

(FromThe Difference Between Chinese and Western Ways of Thinking from the Viewpoint of a Former Chinese Ambassador, SDX Joint Publishing Company.Translation: Wang Wen)

我聽(tīng)到一種更妙的解釋是：由于語(yǔ)言的原因，產(chǎn)生人的心理反應(yīng)的快慢。這位對(duì)中國(guó)頗有研究和了解的歐洲朋友說(shuō)：“歐洲文字一般只有26 個(gè)字母，比較好學(xué)，懂一兩門(mén)外語(yǔ)，在歐洲并不稀奇。但中國(guó)的文字就不同，《康熙字典》里收集6 萬(wàn)個(gè)漢字，即使常用字，也在3000 個(gè)以上，人們從幼兒時(shí)代起，就要一個(gè)字一個(gè)字地記，而且非常難寫(xiě)。漢字也是語(yǔ)言和藝術(shù)結(jié)合的唯一古老文字，例如漢文化的書(shū)法就是全世界獨(dú)一無(wú)二的。歐洲人形容一件事情難辦時(shí)，常說(shuō)此事就像中國(guó)文字一樣。

“不過(guò)，中國(guó)的文字也有獨(dú)特作用，即增強(qiáng)了民族凝聚力，在長(zhǎng)達(dá)數(shù)千年歷史中，中華民族沒(méi)有被外來(lái)文化同化，文字的統(tǒng)一，不能不說(shuō)是一個(gè)重要原因。

“另外，中國(guó)文字也鍛煉了中國(guó)人的耐心，中國(guó)人從孩提時(shí)代就要一筆一畫(huà)地練習(xí)寫(xiě)字，記住數(shù)千個(gè)字和單詞。中國(guó)不是有‘十年寒窗’的說(shuō)法嗎？十年寒窗，就是培養(yǎng)耐心的搖籃。”

（摘自《差異——一位中國(guó)大使眼中的東西方思維》上海三聯(lián)書(shū)店）