Finding Joy in the Challenges of Mid-life

By Liang Shiqiu

The hour hand on the clock moves at such a slow pace that you can hardly see it. The same goes for our age. As the years go by,you may suddenly realize one day with a start that you have hit middle age. At this point,there may be two things that are hard to ignore: obituaries keep coming to you,proclaiming that some friends have left you behind,and simultaneously,you may suddenly feel that there are lots of young fellows popping up in front of you. Many years ago,they were nowhere to be seen,but now,they are everywhere around you. They always cluster together,prancing around,and their faces always shine with smiles as if they were going to attend a wedding banquet. One-by-one,your mates have gone into “hibernation,” leaving the world to the young people. Just like a line of a Chinese poem goes,“Often do I hear the death of my old friends,while young faces frequently appear in front of my eyes,” this is exactly the life of the middle-aged.

There is hardly any youngster who dislikes looking into the mirror,and they would be happy with merely a glimpse of their reflection in a large shop window,feeling that they are somewhat good looking. Gradually,this habit of selfappreciation disappears,and one day when they look at themselves in the mirror,they see clear and deep lines on their foreheads,like the “strips of water shield” in Wu Daozi’s drawings. The wrinkles emerge when looking up,they think. But when they look down,the lines are still there. After taking a closer look,they also find that their hair is starting to thin out and grow on their cheeks and chins,yet they are most shocked by the sight of some white hairs on their sideburns. This is so terrifying that even those who never tweeze their hairs have to grit their teeth to do so. Hairs are attached to the skin,so when you pluck the hair out,there is always a shiny flesh bead dangling at the end of the hair. But all the efforts are useless,as time shows no mercy when it comes to aging.

Liang Shiqiu (1903-1987),also Liang Shih-chiu,was a renowned educator,writer,translator,literary theorist and lexicographer.

Shi Nai’an (1296-1370) was a Chinese writer from Suzhou. Water Margin,one of the Four Great Classical Novels of Chinese literature,is attributed to him.

Most women are more anxious when they reach middle age. Can you name any young girl whose skin is not as plump and springy as a fresh milk grape that looks as if a flick may break it? Or as petite and supple as a swallow who is so nimble when bouncing around? But when they hit forties,everything will be changed. Their body curves are still there,but not how it should be. The part that ought to be curved inwards will bulge out and vice versa. The fresh milk grape will be a golden preserved date,and the swallow will turn to a quail. As the most exposed part of the body,wear and tear of the face may lead to fishtail-shaped wrinkles starting around the corners of the eyes,covering the rest of the face,like a net,loose yet widespread,turning it into a complex railway map. Apart from the pronounced wrinkles that no iron can rid you of,there are also lots of freckles showing up somehow,so makeup will be an indispensable part of their life.

It seems that women’s bodies are most vulnerable to gravity. Upon reaching middle age,their skins become loose and saggy altogether,with piles of flesh drooping on their face,waist,and ankle. I hear that some Western women would use a stick,like a rolling pin,to roll all over their body day and night,hoping to press their extra fat away. Also,I hear that some people simply starve themselves to look young again by tightening up their waist belt and abandoning any food that contains fat or starch. Whether it works or not,I’ve no idea.

If you think that everything will come to an end when you hit middle age,then you’re wrong. Life is like climbing a mountain,and people at middle age have just reached the peak. When you look back,you will see a bunch of young fellows who are climbing uphill resolutely,all drenched in sweat with no one to wipe it away. If you look closely,you will see many obstacles that once stood in your way and lots of traps into which you fell and got stuck on for quite some time. Back in the old days,you acted like a moth,chasing after a flame,or like a fly,hitting the glass window for freedom,eventually ending up on a piece of flypaper. Only when you stand at the peak can you see all these things. Looking ahead,there is a downhill path that is much easier to walk on.

According to the preface ofWater Marginby Shi Nai’an,“If you are not married at the age of thirty,then you should never marry; if you haven’t become an official at the age of forty,then you should never be one.” Actually,marriage and official career paths are trivial matters in our lives. It makes no difference even if you never get married or become an official,but the statement is arbitrary,as if telling people to give up halfway. As a western proverb goes,“Life begins at forty.” Indeed,life before forty is merely some by-plays,and the interesting part of the show is yetto come. I think it has somethingto do with health. It is definitely achallenge for people who grew upeating steamed corn-bread or ricecakes to prolong their existenceafter hitting middle age,as thefuel of their life is burned off. Sowhy bother getting married orbecoming an official by then? Yet,I’ve seen some privileged menand women. When they wereyoung,they were simple-minded,good looking,and pretty rigid,like premature wild peaches. Butthey were actually diamonds inthe rough. After hitting middleage,they shine brightly from the inside out. Their life is like anaged wine,tasting strong yet freshand aromatic. To them,there is nosuch thing as a midlife crisis.

Wu Daozi (680-759),also known as Daoxuan,was a Chinese artist of the Tang dynasty. Michael Sullivan considers him one of “the masters of the seventh century.” Some of his works survive; many,mostly murals,have been lost.

It is never too late to start your life at forty,but the question is how to interpret “l(fā)ife” itself. If it means to follow the suit of the teenagers,learning skating,shuttlecock kicking,or kiteflying,then you are probably putting yourself in an awkward position. And it is also a disaster for a middle-aged woman to wear girlish bangs or practice walking in high heels as if walking on stilts.

The joy of midlife is to be able to find the true meaning of life,to be fully aware of ourselves,to do what we can,and to enjoy the life we deserve. Child actors are suitable for performing the complete martial plays,but only middle-aged actors can shoulder the pivotal role in the grand epilogue,as they truly understand the meaning of the play.

(FromSelected World Literature Essays,China Three Gorges Publishing House. Translation: Zhu Yaguang)