April Fools’ Jokes

By Wang Huiyun

Every time April Fools’jokes come up, I can’t help but thinking of the story of the “cowtomato.”

I remember sometime after the reforms and opening-up of the country, the media reported on a scientific discovery that caused quite the sensation: “cowtomatoes.” Apparently a professor at some college in Germany had mixed tomato cells together with cow cells and had successfully grown “cow-tomatoes.” These tomatoes contained ten times the amount of vitamin C that the original tomatoes had and were high in protein, making this incredible combination of meat and vegetable into a brand-new super-food.

This news caused quite the stir in China at the time. Back then, the country had only just opened up its doors, we opened our eyes to take a look and:Wow! Compared with developed countries we were really lagging behind by a large distance. If we wanted to eat beef and tomatoes,we would need to buy tomatoes and some beef, then we would need to stir-fry them together to make a single dish. Other countries, though, had already made a hybrid of the two; you can eat a tomato and chew on it like you’d chew on a piece of soybraised beef. Giving you vitamins and high protein all in one bite. If everyone had this kind of tomato,then they wouldn’t need to tend so many cows anymore.

Apparently, in order to get these tomatoes accessible to the Chinese population as soon as possible, professional technicians made a special trip, over a great distance, to Germany to visit the professor who invented the “cowtomato.” But it was all for nothing.No such outstanding professor ever existed. It was only later that they found out, the whole thing was an April Fools’ joke cookedup by the British magazine New Scientist.

This kind of humor was certainly new for people who had recently experienced medical treatments like injecting chicken blood, drinking cold water, arm swinging therapy and drinking fermented tea. The joke in New Scientist, left Chinese people excited for quite a while.

If we say that “l(fā)ies” like the“cow-tomato” were able to deceive the Chinese public who were totally unfamiliar with Western culture. Then, can it be said that everyone who lives in the West is immune to April Fools’ jokes? The answer is: no.

Westerners mainly just use April Fools’ Day as a way to have some fun. Very often you will see jokes played on famous people to entertain the public. In recent years, even Microsoft’s CEO,Bill Gates, was pranked on April Fools’ Day.

In 2002, two newsreaders at a French TV Station, in Montreal,Québec, Canada, were bored out of their minds. They came up with the idea to find a famous person who was intelligent and hard to fool, to prank for fun on April Fools’ Day. After some deliberation they settled on Bill Gates. On the day, they called up Microsoft headquarters, claiming to be calling from the office of the Canadian Prime Minister, asking that Mr. Gates pick up the phone to speak with Jean Chrétien.

Gate’s assistant didn’t think anything particular about it, and put them through to the big boss.

Gates, hearing that it was the Prime Minister of Canada calling, hurriedly picked up the receiver laughing nervously.Although Gates is a wealthy and intimidating man, he still wouldn’t dare snub this kind of phone call. As soon as the call began you could tell “Chrétien”wasn’t very good at English, but he was making witty comments one after another. The starting speaking about both countries economic trends and moved to talking about Widows XP. Gates was both dazed and overwhelmed with praise. In the end “Chrétien”even invited Gates to come visit Canada and he gladly accepted the invitation. What a privilege!

When Gates finally settled down after the phone call, he put on the news and saw that while he was supposedly having a chat,Chrétien was in the middle of a meeting with foreign dignitaries.

During the 80’s foreign Chinese students’ cars were all pretty rough. They were all the kind of cars where the horn didn’t make a sound, but everywhere else did. The poor quality of the cars meant that they caused a lot of problems. If someone’s car broke down on the side of the road, their classmates would feel almost duty-bound to go to the scene straight away and help out.

One afternoon, a friend of mine called saying that his car had broken down in Chicago and told me to hurry up and come help. I put down the phone, and without even thinking about it, drove straight there. I went to the place he told me but I didn’t see any sign of cars or people, so I drove around the block to see if I could see anything.

Driving around the area, I felt like something wasn’t right. I triedfiguring out what the day was, and realized that it was April Fools’Day. I suddenly realized what was happening and I didn’t feel good about it. On the way back I hit the afternoon rush hour and being unfamiliar with the roads in the city, I ended up running out of fuel before I had even left the city.

Around dinnertime, my friend tried calling again, to make fun of me. But, on hearing that I still hadn’t come back, that I ran out of gas and was stuck on the side of the road, he panicked. He got in his car and drove towards the city and actually managed to find me before dark. He helped mefill up my tank and took me for dinner in Chinatown, apologizing profusely the whole time.

Just look what this joke turned into!

每當提起愚人節(jié)玩笑，我總會想到牛西紅柿的故事。

記得改革開放后，媒體介紹了一項轟動一時的科研成果——牛西紅柿。說是德國一所大學的教授將西紅柿的細胞同牛的細胞雜交，成功種植牛西紅柿，其維生素C的含量比原來的西紅柿高出幾十倍，還富含高蛋白，是肉菜合一的優(yōu)良品種。

這條消息在當時的中國引起不小的震動。那時候，國門剛剛打開，大家睜眼一瞧，嚯！和人家先進國家一比，咱真是落后一大截兒。咱這兒要吃牛肉西紅柿，又得買西紅柿又得買牛肉，還必須把兩種東西炒成一盤菜。人家卻合二為一，吃個西紅柿，跟嚼醬牛肉似的，維生素和高蛋白全有了。要是大家都吃上這種西紅柿，就不用養(yǎng)那么多牛啦。

為了盡快讓全國人民吃上牛西紅柿，據(jù)說，還有專業(yè)技術人員不遠萬里，專程前往德國拜訪那位發(fā)明牛西紅柿的教授，結果撲空。人家那里根本就沒有這么個牛教授，后來才知道，那是英國的《新科學家》雜志制造的“愚人節(jié)”幽默。

這種幽默對剛剛經(jīng)歷過打雞血、喝涼水、甩手療法、飲紅茶菌的國人來說，的確新鮮。《新科學家》雜志這么一忽悠，正經(jīng)叫國人激動了好一陣子。

如果說牛西紅柿一類的“謊言”愚弄了不太熟悉西方文化的中國大眾，那么，生活在西方的人就有對愚人節(jié)玩笑的免疫力嗎？回答是否定的。

西方人過愚人節(jié)，大多是借這個機會找樂子。拿名人開涮，讓大眾開心，是愚人節(jié)常有的節(jié)目。前些年，微軟總裁比爾·蓋茨就叫人涮了一把。

2002年，加拿大魁北克省蒙特利爾市一家法語電臺有兩位播音員閑得無聊，密謀在愚人節(jié)找個比較精明、難于欺騙的名人尋開心，想來想去就想到了微軟總裁比爾·蓋茨。于是，愚人節(jié)那天，他們打電話給微軟公司總部，自稱是加拿大總理辦公室工作人員，要讓蓋茨接聽克雷蒂安總理的電話。

蓋茨的助手也沒多想，接通了老板的電話。

蓋茨一聽是加拿大總理打來的，忙不迭地拿起聽筒一個勁兒傻笑。雖說蓋茨腰纏萬貫、財大氣粗，這樣的電話也不敢怠慢。電話一通，“克雷蒂安”雖然英語說得不地道，但是妙語連珠，從兩國經(jīng)濟形勢聊到Windows XP，把蓋茨侃得暈頭轉向、受寵若驚。臨了，“克雷蒂安”還邀請蓋茨有空兒來加拿大玩，蓋茨當然是欣然接受。多大的面子呀！

等蓋茨醒過神兒來，一看新聞，自己和“克雷蒂安”電話聊天那時辰，人家正在會見外國政要呢。

20世紀80年代，中國留學生的汽車都不是很好，除了喇叭不響，哪兒都響，因而出事的就多。誰的車壞路上了，同學、朋友都會義不容辭地趕赴現(xiàn)場幫忙。

一天下午，我突然接到朋友一個電話，說他的車壞在芝加哥城里了，叫我趕緊過去幫一把。放下電話，我想也沒想，就駕車沖過去。到了他告訴我的地方一看，沒車沒人，只好圍著那塊地界兜圈子。

兜著兜著，就覺得有點不對勁兒。一算日子，今兒正是愚人節(jié)呀。這才恍然大悟，大叫不妙。返回路上還趕上上下班高峰，加上我對城里的道不熟，油耗干了還沒出城。

到吃晚飯的時候，朋友又給我打電話，本想取笑我的，一聽說我現(xiàn)在還沒回來，斷油停在路邊，他也急了，開車就往城里跑，總算在天黑之前找到我。他幫我灌好油，又在唐人街請我吃了一頓飯，一個勁兒地賠不是。

您瞧這個玩笑開得！