Our pursuit of happiness

By Greg Fountain

We chase after it,when it is waiting all about us.

“Are you happy?“I asked my brother,Lan,one day.

“Yes.No.It depends what you mean,” he said.

“Then tell me,” I said, “when was the last time you think you were happy?”

“April 1967,” he said.

It served me right for putting a serious question to someone who has joked his way through life.

But Lan’s answer reminded me that when we think about happiness,we usually think of something extraordinary,a pinnacle of sheer delight—and those pinnacles seem to get rarer the older we get.

For a child,happiness has a magical quality.I remember making hide-outs in newly cut hay,playing cops and robbers in the woods,getting a speaking part in the school play.

Of course,kids also experience lows,but their delight at such peaks of pleasure as winning a race or getting a new bike is unreserved.

In the teenage years the concept of happiness changes.Suddenly it’s conditional on such things as excitement,love,popularity and whether that zit will clear up before prom night.

I can still feel the agony of not being invited to a party that almost everyone else was going to.But I also recall the ecstasy of being plucked from obscurity at another event to dance with a John Travolta look-alike.

In adulthood the things that bring profound joy—birth,love,marriage—also bring responsibility and the risk of loss.Love may not last,it isn’t always good,loved ones die.For adults,happiness is complicated.

我們苦苦追尋的，其實就在我們身邊。

一天，我問哥哥伊恩：“你感到幸福嗎?”

他回答說：“可以說幸福，也可以說不幸福，這要看你指什么了。”

“那你告訴我，”我說，“最近一次你感到幸福是什么時候?”

“1967年 4月，”他答道。

向一個游戲人生的人提問這么嚴肅的問題，我真是自討苦吃。

但是伊恩的話啟發(fā)了我，當我們考慮幸福的時候，我們通常想到一些不同尋常的事情和愉快無比的時刻，而隨著年齡的增長，這種時刻是越來越少。

對一個孩子來說，幸福有著夢幻般的色彩。記得我曾在新鮮的干草叢中捉迷藏；在樹林里玩“警察與小偷”；在學(xué)校的戲劇里扮演有臺詞的角色。

當然，孩子也有情緒低落的時候；但是，因為贏得一場比賽，或得了一輛新車，他們會毫不掩飾地快樂到極點。

到了青少年時期，幸福觀發(fā)生了變化。突然間幸福有了條件，例如：刺激、愛情、名氣以及舞會前青春痘是否能消除等。

我清楚地記得，大家都去參加一個舞會，而我未被邀請時的痛苦。但也記得，在另一次活動中，我意外地與一個貌似約翰·特拉沃爾塔的人共舞時的興奮。

成年后，能帶來深深歡樂的事情——如出生、愛情和婚姻，同時也帶來了責(zé)任和失去的危險。愛情可能會消逝，性愛也不總是如意，心愛的人可能會死去。對于成人來說，幸福很復(fù)雜。

My dictionary defines happy as “l(fā)ucky” or “fortunate”,but I think a better definition of happiness is “the capacity for enjoyment”.

The more we can enjoy what we have,the happier we are.It’s easy to overlook the pleasure we get from loving and being loved,the company of friends,the freedom to live where we please,even good health.

You never know where happiness will turn up next.When I asked friends what makes them happy,some mentioned seemingly insignificant moments. “I hate shopping,” one friend said. “But there’s this clerk who always chats and really cheers me up.”

Another friend loves the telephone.“Every time it rings,I know someone is thinking about me.”

I get a thrill from driving.One day I stopped to let a school bus turn onto a side road.The driver grinned and gave me a thumbs-up sign.We were two allies in a world of mad motorists.It made me smile.

We all experience moments like these.Too few of us register them as happiness.

Psychologists tell us that to be happy we need a blend of enjoyable leisure time and satisfying work.

I doubt that my great-grandmother,who raised 14 children and took in washing,had much of either.

She did have a network of close friends and family,and maybe this is what fulfilled her.If she was happy with what she had,perhaps it was because she didn’t expect life to be very different.

We,on the other hand,with so many choices and such pressure to succeed in every area,have turned happiness into one more thing we “gotta have”.

We’re so self-conscious about our “right” to it that it’s making us miserable.So we chase it and equate it with wealth and success,without noticing that the people who have those things aren’t necessarily happier.

While happiness may be more complex for us,the solution is the same as ever.Happiness isn’t about what happens to us— it’s about how we perceive what happens to us.

It’s the knack of finding a positive for every negative,and viewing a setback as a challenge.It’s not wishing for what we don’t have,but enjoying what we do possess.

字典里幸福的定義是“幸運”或“好運”，但我認為幸福更好的定義是“感受快樂的能力”。

更多地享受我們擁有的一切，我們就能更多地享受幸福。但是，愛與被愛，友人相伴，簡單的生活，甚至健康的體魄，這些細碎的快樂卻很容易被我們忽視。

你永遠不會知道幸福下一次會在什么時候出現(xiàn)。當我問起朋友，什么能給他們帶來幸福時，有些人會提到一些看似微不足道的小事。“我討厭購物，”一個朋友說，“但有些健談的售貨員的確令我很開心。”

另一個朋友喜歡接電話，“每次電話一響，我就知道有人想我了。”

我喜歡開車的刺激。一天，我停下來，讓一輛學(xué)校班車拐到路邊。那個司機咧嘴一笑，會意地豎起大拇指。到處都是瘋狂的飆車族，而我們倆是另類。我笑了起來。

我們都有過類似的經(jīng)歷，但很少有人能意識到這就是幸福。

心理學(xué)家告訴我們，幸福既需要愉快的休閑時間，也需要滿意的工作。

我的曾祖母養(yǎng)育了14個孩子，還要給別人洗衣服，做其他一些家務(wù)雜活。

這兩樣?xùn)|西她都沒有，但她有來自各方向的親密的朋友和一個和睦的家。或許，這已使她很滿足了。如果說她因自己擁有的一切感到幸福，或許是因為她并不希望生活是另一番樣子。

另一方面，面對太多的選擇在各個方面都想成功，讓我們把幸福變成“必須得到”的一種東西。

我們自私地以為我們有“權(quán)”得到它，這也是我們痛苦的根源。所以我們?nèi)プ非笮腋＃⑺敻缓统晒β?lián)系起來，而沒有意識到擁有它的人并不一定更幸福。

對我們來說，盡管每個人對幸福的理解不同，但是幸福的含義是從來不變的。幸福不是發(fā)生在我們周圍的事——而是我們?nèi)绾稳タ创車l(fā)生的事。

秘訣就在于，我們以積極的心態(tài)面對逆境，變壓力為動力。幸福并不是祈求我們所沒有的，而是享受我們所擁有的。