聽奶奶的話

“Granny， what does it feel like to be almost 80 years old？”

The question came up at the dinner table， in between mouthfuls of crab leg drenched in melted butter. I don’t know what it was about that particular night， but for some reason in that moment I just had to know.

I’ll never forget the look on my grandmother’s face. It was an expression that’s nearly impossible for me to put into words. It literally felt like I was watching her life flash before her eyes. After a very long pause， Granny took a breath and answered.

“It feels…impossible. If that makes sense.”

Over the course of a few seconds， our laughter-infused seafood dinner conversation had gotten pretty deep. I wanted to know more， but I had to figure out how to go about it—and fast.

Minutes later， after the crab shells had been thrown away， Granny found herself in the backyard， sitting in a chair across from my sister， Cailin and me. I held a small voice recorder in my hand， and my sister had a notebook and pen waiting patiently in her lap. The sun was sinking beneath the horizon， though the near-summer air remained warm， as I delivered my first question.

“What has been the most memorable moment of your life so far？”

“I think the birth of my sons. It’s the ultimate joy to see a new person come into the world that you helped create.”

That was an easy one. The next one would be a little more difficult.

“Do you have any regrets？”

Granny surprised me by answering， before I even finished the sentence， with an incredibly firm and quick “no.” She continued.

“I have no regrets in my life.”

Of course， I wanted to know her secret to living nearly eight decades and having no regrets.

“My secret is being true to yourself and…maybe living each day to its fullest. But I have no regrets. There’s not one thing I would do differently.”

Cailin was quickly taking notes on the bench next to me， recording every word Granny said. I asked her what advice she would give to her teenage self.

Don’t worry about the small stuff. There are so many things， just this week， that I’ve heard you girls talk about， you know， this person and that person， that in the great scheme of things don’t really matter. I think that’s what I’d tell myself. I remember crying over silly things when I was your age and I think now， how silly I was. Getting all upset over those things. I would go back and tell myself not to worry about the small stuff.

Cailin asked Granny how you can tell the difference between the small stuff and the not-so-small-stuff.

My theory now is that if it’s not life threatening， it’s no big deal. Sometimes the things you think are big things really are not. You make a mountain out of a molehill. As you go through the process of living， you’ll learn the difference between the two. You will come across major crises in your life. Nobody’s life is perfect. Life is about recognizing what is worth getting worked up over—and it’s not some silly boyfriend or something. When you’re a teenager， things like that feel like such a crisis.

She went on to tell a story of a breakup she went through straight out of high school. I asked her if it felt like the end of the world at the time.

Oh heavens， yes！ And now we both laugh about it！ That’s another thing I’d tell my teenage self—you gotta laugh every day. You have to laugh at something. Even if you have to laugh at yourself. I think that’s what keeps you going， to have a sense of humor. You can’t take life too seriously. Sometimes there are things that you just can’t do anything about， and all you can do is laugh and make the best of it.

Cailin and I thanked Granny for the interview， and the three of us headed back inside. I was ready to take on the world with an all-new outlook on life， and though the sky now completely lacked light， my heart was full.

Thanks， Granny.

“奶奶，年近八旬是怎樣一種感覺？”

這個問題是在我們晚飯的餐桌上蹦出來的，當時我嘴里還塞滿了蘸著溶化黃油的蟹腿肉。我不知道那一晚自己是怎么回事，反正在那一刻，我就是想知道。

我永遠不會忘記奶奶的表情——那是一個我幾乎無法用言語來形容的表情。那感覺真的就像我看著奶奶的一生在她眼前閃過一樣。一段長時間的停頓過后，奶奶吸了一口氣，做出回答。

“那感覺就像……不可能發生的事情，如果這個答案還算合理的話。”

在幾秒鐘的時間里，我們原本充滿笑聲的海鮮大餐談話變得深刻起來。我希望多知道一點，但我必須想想如何進行這件事——而且還要快。

幾分鐘后，蟹殼已經被清理干凈。奶奶來到后院，坐在一張椅子上，面對著我姐姐凱琳和我。我手里拿著一個小型錄音機，姐姐大腿上放著筆記本和筆，正耐心地等待著。盡管臨近夏天的空氣依舊溫暖，太陽卻漸漸沉入地平線。我提出了第一個問題。

“到現在為止，您的人生中最難忘的一刻是什么時候？”

“我想是兒子們出生的時候。看到自己有份創造的新生命來到這個世界，是我最大的快樂。”

這個問題不難，下一個會難一點。

“您有遺憾嗎？”

奶奶在我還沒說完這句話之前就異常堅定而迅速地回答說“沒有”，讓我頗為吃驚。她繼續說道——

“我的人生沒有遺憾。”

我當然想知道活了將近八十年卻毫無遺憾的奶奶究竟有什么秘訣。

“我的秘訣就是忠于自己……也許還有過好每一天。但我沒有遺憾，我不會改變任何一件事的做法。