Messages of Love Sent from Afar

By Yidianjun

According to a tale in Stories to Awaken the World, Miss Zhou ran across Mr. Fan Erlang in a tea house in a bustling Dongjing street (then the capital) during the reign of Emperor Huizong of the Song Dynasty. They gazed at each other's eyes and fell in love at first sight.

The crowded street was crammed full of throngs of visitors. Miss Zhou thought to herself, “If I let this man go, where might I find the love of my life?”She thought quickly and asked a street vendor to sell her a bowl of sugar water. After taking a sip,she cried, “What is the meaning of this? Don’t you know who I am? I am the daughter of Zhou Dalang of Caomenli. My nickname is the Triumphant Angel Maiden. Those names should mean something to you! In my 18 years of life, no one has ever plotted against me like this. You are the first to conspire against a chaste young vestal virgin like me. ” This was her roundabout way of revealing her personal information to him.

Fan Erlang understood what she meant and followed suit. He also bought a bowl of sugar water from the same vendor and made a big show of it crying, “You must really love plotting against others!Don’t you know who I am? My elder brother is the owner of the Fanlou Hotel and he has never treated a patron with such impudence. His name is Fan Dalang, and my name is Fan Erlang. These names should mean something to you! In my 19 years on this earth no one has ever conspired against me as you do now. I’m a master archer, and yet unbetrothed.”

So what was this “sugar water conspiracy”? It seemed so queer. But Miss Zhou and Fan Erlang insisted that there was a stalk of grass in it.

However, even if they were the victims of some dastardly grass-in-the-sugar-water conspiracy, they did not blame the street vendor. The drinker’s heart is not in the cup. But the poor vendor was at his wits end and actually believed that something had tainted the sugar water he was selling that day. (From China Newsweek, Issue 29, 2017. Translation: Chen Jiani)

《醒世恒言》中有個故事：宋徽宗年間，周姑娘和范二郎在繁華都市東京茶坊相遇，四目相視，“俱各有情”。

當時，街上游人如蟻，周姑娘忖度：“今日當面錯過，再來哪里去討？”急中生智，叫賣水的送一盞糖水過來，剛喝一口，便叫：“好好，你卻來暗算我。你道我是誰？我是曹門里周大郎的女兒，我的小名叫作勝仙小娘子，年一十八歲，不曾吃人暗算。你今卻來算我。我是不曾嫁的女孩兒。”信息量好大。

范二郎心領神會，照葫蘆畫瓢，也買一碗糖水，喝完也大叫起來：“好好，你這個人真個要暗算人。你道我是誰？我哥哥是樊樓開酒店的，喚作范大郎，我便喚作范二郎，年登一十九歲，未曾吃人暗算。我射得好弩，兼我不曾娶渾家（妻子）。”

糖水怎么暗算人？很是蹊蹺。但周姑娘和范二郎一口咬定：水里有根草。

可是，被“暗算”也并沒有去追究，醉翁之意不在酒也。可憐那賣水的，一頭霧水，還以為真碰上食品安全問題。

（摘自《中國新聞周刊》2017年第29期）