Nature as the Third Parent第三位家長

侯冬意

Right now my husband and I are in the thick of raising our two little wildlings1， both are under five years old. These early years have been filled with joy， but they havent been the easiest in a lot of ways. So many of you out there are in the same position， and it seems like everyone I talk to is missing the village. Sadly we probably wont get back to that level of community in our life time， but that doesnt mean we are completely alone.

現在我和我的丈夫全身心投入到撫養我們的兩個小“野人”中，兩個都是五歲以下。這些早年的日子充滿了歡樂，但從許多方面來講卻不怎么容易。有很多人都處于相同的情況，看起來和我交談過的每個人好像都對這個村莊依依不舍。可惜有生之年我們很可能沒有機會再回到那種層面的社區，但那并不意味著我們是完全孤獨的。

These past few weeks spent watching my kids play in the summer light， a thought has slowly taken shape in my heart and profoundly2 shifted my experience as their mother. Nature is their third parent.

在過去的幾周時間里，我看著孩子們在夏日的陽光下玩耍，有個想法已經慢慢在我的心中形成并深刻地改變了我作為孩子母親的經驗，那就是——自然是他們的第三位家長。

When the children scale3 rocks and branches， nature is helping them build resilience4 and strength.

當孩子們在攀爬巖石和樹干的時候，自然正在幫助他們增強韌性和力量。

When they play in the mud5， nature is nurturing their creativity and building their immunity6.

當他們在泥里玩的時候，自然正在培養他們的創造力和提高他們的免疫力。

When they encounter death of little life on our farm， nature is teaching my children about the fragility7 and value of life.

當他們在我們的農場中遭遇小生命死亡的時候，自然正在教會我的孩子們關于生命的脆弱和價值。

Suddenly I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I didnt have to do it all. I didnt have to be everything.

突然，我感覺像從肩上卸下了一個重擔。我不必做一切。我不必是一切。

When the flowers bloom， my children know beauty.

花兒綻放的時候，我女兒知道了什么是美。

When they forage8 for wild edibles9， they are being fed and nourished10.

當尋找可食用的野生食材時，他們獲得了充足的食物和營養。

When the seasons shift， they experience impermanence11， patience and change.

季節轉換的時候，他們體驗著無常、耐心和變化。

Nature has been there beside through it all， occupying the kids when they get “bored”， aiding12 in their emotional and physical development， and most importantly giving them the space and freedom to play.

至始至終自然一直就在那里，在孩子們“無聊”的時候讓他們忙碌起來，給予他們情感和身體成長方面的幫助，最重要的是，給了他們發揮的空間和自由。

It might not be the traditional village of our dreams， but the closer we get to nature the more chance we have of recognizing it as one of our biggest allies13 on this parenting journey. Only in modern times has nature been passively backdropped14 against our busy lives. In the past， nature was characterized and understood as a force， an active participant playing a vital role within the context of the family and wider community. And shes still there， patiently waiting for us to ask for help.

這可能不是我們夢想中的傳統村莊，但我們越接近大自然，我們就越有機會認識到她是我們這次育兒之旅的最大盟友之一。……