我不叫查克

By+Nancy+Tague

"This is Steve. He just moved here." Andy was taking his job as my guide for the day seriously. He turned to me. "You've already met the guys in our class. That's Shaun， Stevie， Darren， Rob， Steve and Chris." He pointed to the kids clustered around home plate1）.

"Hi，" I said. Already I couldn't remember any of my classmates' names except Andy and Steven， a tall， skinny kid. I only remembered that name because it was the same as my own.

"Another Steve？" Darren asked. "Do you have a nickname？" "No，" I answered. "I'm really Steven， but everyone has always called me Steve." I wasn't going to tell them that my sister calls me Stinky2）.

"Well， with Steven， Steve and Stevie taken， nothing's left，" said Stevie. Or was that Steve？ "This could get confusing."

"You sure you don't have a nickname？" asked Darren. "How about Chuck？" "Hey， that works for me！" said Andy. "But my name is Steve，" I said. No one heard me. Everyone was agreeing with Darren and Andy. Then Rob shouted loudly， "O.K.， let's play ball！ My team gets Chuck， since we're short one man."

Word spread fast. By the end of break time， practically the whole school had heard that my nickname was Chuck. Don't get me wrong. Everyone was friendly and helpful. But they called me Chuck.

When math started， Karla leaned across the aisle. "Hey， Chuck， we're on page fifty-seven." "My name's not Chuck，" I whispered back， but she was searching for a pencil in her desk.

Mrs. Woodburn was the only person still calling me Steve. I guess teachers are slow getting the word.

At home， I grabbed a bunch of grapes and headed for my room. "How're things， Blackbeard？" "Let me out of here！" he answered. I unlatched3） the door of his cage and stuck my hand inside. My African gray parrot hopped onto my finger.

I flopped4） across the bed and set Blackbeard on the logo on my T-shirt. He ruffled5） his gray wing feathers and spread his scarlet6） tail.

"The kids at school started calling me Chuck. I hate it！ My name's not Chuck！" Blackbeard looked down his beak7） at me. "How would you like it if people called you Polly8）？" I asked.

"Get real！9） Polly wants a cookie！" said Blackbeard. I taught him to say that whenever he hears "Polly" because people are always saying to him， "Polly wants a cracker10）？" Do they think that's all birds can say？

I fed him a grape. "Why do I have to change my name just because I'm the fourth Steve？ I bet those other Steves wouldn't want to be Chucks."endprint

"I have a bad feeling about this.11）" Blackbeard's voice sounded like Han Solo's12）， not mine. He learned that line from my Star Wars video. He learns really fast. Sometimes he says， "What a mess in here！" and sounds like my mom.

"I do have a bad feeling， but I don't know what to do about it. Hey， Blackbeard， do you want to go sightseeing next weekend？" "Stand by13） to go about！" Blackbeard nudged14） a grape. I fed it to him， scratching his neck.

"There's a walkathon15） at the track to raise money for the Red Cross. The more laps16） I finish， the more money I'll raise. You could ride on my shoulder when I walk."

He stole a grape I had plucked17） for myself. "Steve's my pal！" he said. That's when I had my great idea. "You are my pal，" I said. "And you and I have work to do！" "What a mess in here！"

The track was jammed with people on Saturday morning. As I pushed my way to the registration table with Blackbeard on my shoulder， people around me did double takes18）.

"Wow， look at the cool bird！"

"Mom， that kid's got a bird！"

Blackbeard loved the noise and the crowd. He kept saying "Hello， mates！" and "May the force be with you！" I didn't see anyone I knew until we lined up to walk. While a man gave instructions over the loudspeaker， I saw guys from the baseball teams and my class out of the corner of my eye. They were nudging each other and pointing toward me and Blackbeard.

As soon as we started walking， the guys began moving themselves closer to me.

"Hey， Chuck， cool bird！" one of them called. "Who's Chuck？ Steve's my pal！" squawked19） Blackbeard. I couldn't tell which guy had spoken. I just kept walking.

"Hey， Chuck， is that bird yours？" "Who's Chuck？ Steve's my pal！" I kept walking.

I reached the first curve. A couple of guys were about ten feet away. "Chuck！ Is that a parrot？" "Who's Chuck？ Steve's my pal！" I just kept walking.

Darren started laughing. "I get it！ Hey， Steve， can your bird say anything else？" "A long time ago， in a galaxy far， far away . . .20）" Blackbeard began. Everybody laughed. Blackbeard took turns riding on the guys' shoulders. I kept hearing， "Hey， Steve， can I have him next？" Blackbeard finished twenty-three laps.

The other Steve likes his new nickname， "Slugger". I never hear "Chuck" at school anymore. Only from Blackbeard.

"Who's Chuck？ Get real！"

1. home plate： 【棒】本壘板

2. stinky [?st??ki] adj. 難聞的，有臭味的endprint

“這是史蒂夫。他剛搬來這里。”安迪很把他今天帶我熟悉環(huán)境這活兒當回事兒。他轉(zhuǎn)向我，“你已經(jīng)見過咱們班的這幾個家伙了。他們是肖恩、史蒂維、達倫、羅布、史蒂夫和克里斯。”他指了指聚在本壘板周圍的那幾個小孩。

“大家好。”我說。除了安迪和史蒂文（一個又高又瘦的小孩）之外，我已經(jīng)完全想不起來其他任何一位同學(xué)的名字了。而我會記得史蒂文只是因為他和我同名。

“又一個史蒂夫？”達倫問，“你有綽號嗎？”“沒有，”我答道，“我的名字其實是史蒂文，不過大家一直都叫我史蒂夫。”我不打算告訴他們我妹妹管我叫臭臭。

“好吧，史蒂文、史蒂夫和史蒂維都已經(jīng)有人叫了，沒有其他的名字了，”史蒂維說。或者他是史蒂夫？“這可能會搞混的。”

“你確定你沒有綽號嗎？”達倫問， “那叫查克怎么樣？”“嘿，我覺得這個名字挺好的呢！”安迪說。“但是我叫史蒂夫。”我說，可沒人聽到我說了什么。每個人都在贊同達倫和安迪的提議。然后羅布大聲喊道，“好了，我們打球吧！查克是我們隊的了，因為我們少一個人。”

消息傳得很快。到課間休息結(jié)束時，幾乎全校的學(xué)生都聽說了我的綽號是查克。別誤會我，這里的每個人都很友好也很樂于助人。但他們就是管我叫查克。

數(shù)學(xué)課開始了，卡拉隔著過道探過身來。“嘿，查克，我們學(xué)到57頁了。”“我不叫查克。”我小聲回答，可她卻在自己的課桌里扒拉著找一支鉛筆。

伍德伯恩夫人是唯一一個還叫我史蒂夫的人。我猜老師們消息不太靈通。

到家了，我抓了一串葡萄就往自己的房間走。“你今天怎么樣，黑胡子？”“放我出去！”它答道。我打開它籠子的門閂，把手伸了進去，我的非洲灰鸚鵡跳到了我的手指上。

我一頭倒在床上，讓黑胡子站在了我T恤的品牌標上。它豎起它那灰翅膀上的羽毛，打開了自己鮮紅色的尾巴。

“學(xué)校里的孩子們開始管我叫查克了。我討厭這個名字！我不叫查克！”黑胡子不屑地看著我。“要是人們叫你鸚哥你會怎么想呢？”我問。

“別傻了！鸚哥想吃曲奇！”黑胡子說道。我教過它每次聽到“鸚哥”時就這么回答，因為人們總是對它說，“鸚哥想吃餅干嗎？”他們以為鳥兒就只會說那幾句話嗎？

我喂了它一顆葡萄。“為什么就因為我是第四個叫史蒂夫的人我就得把自己的名字改了呢？我敢說其他幾個史蒂夫也不想被叫做查克。”

“對此我有一種不祥的預(yù)感。”黑胡子的聲音聽起來像是漢·索洛，而不像我。它是從我的《星球大戰(zhàn)》錄像帶里學(xué)來的這句臺詞。它學(xué)得非常快。有時它會說：“這里真是亂死了！”聽起來就像是我老媽在說話。

“我的確有一種不祥的預(yù)感，但我不知道該怎么辦。喂，黑胡子，你下個周末想去觀光嗎？”“準備好去四處觀光了！”黑胡子用爪子輕輕推了推一顆葡萄。我把那顆喂給它吃，撓了撓它的脖子。

“在學(xué)校跑道上要舉行為紅十字會籌款的步行馬拉松。我走完的圈數(shù)越多，籌到的錢就會越多。你可以在我走圈的時候站在我的肩上。”

它偷走了我給自己揪的一顆葡萄。“史蒂夫是我哥們兒！”它說道。我就是在這時想到了我那個很棒的主意。“你是我哥們兒，”我說，“你和我有事兒要干啦！”“這里真是亂死了！”

周六早上，跑道上擠滿了人。當我肩“扛”黑胡子往報名登記的桌子那里擠過去時，周圍的人都愣了一會兒才反應(yīng)過來。

“哇，快看那只鳥，太酷了！”

“媽媽，那個小孩有只鳥！”

黑胡子喜歡熱鬧和人扎堆的地方。它不停地說著“你們好啊，伙計們！”以及“愿原力與你同在！”。在我們排隊去走圈之前，我沒看到一個自己認識的人。當一個男人對著擴音器發(fā)出活動指令時，我用余光瞥見了棒球隊的男生們和我們班的同學(xué)。他們在那兒你推我搡，還朝著我和黑胡子指指點點。

我們剛剛走起來，那些家伙就開始朝我走了過來，越來越近。

“嘿，查克，這鳥好酷啊！”他們其中一個人大聲說。“誰是查克？史蒂夫是我哥們兒！”黑胡子尖叫道。我聽不出來剛才說話的是哪個人，只是繼續(xù)往前走著。

“嘿，查克，這鳥是你的嗎？”“誰是查克？史蒂夫是我哥們兒！”我繼續(xù)走著。

我走到了第一個彎道處。有幾個人離我差不多有十英尺（編注：約三米）遠。“查克！那是只鸚鵡嗎？”“誰是查克？史蒂夫是我哥們兒！”我繼續(xù)走著。

達倫哈哈大笑起來。“我知道啦！嘿，史蒂夫，你的鳥還會說別的話嗎？”“很久很久以前，在一個遙遠的銀河系……”黑胡子打開了話匣子。所有人都笑翻了。黑胡子輪流站在這些家伙的肩上。我一直聽到有人問，“嘿，史蒂夫，下一個能讓它站我肩上嗎？”黑胡子“走”完了23圈。

另一個史蒂夫很喜歡他的新綽號“慢吞吞”。我再也沒在學(xué)校里聽到“查克”這兩個字了，除了從黑胡子那里。

“誰是查克？別傻了！”

供稿

Beautiful English

美麗英文

Beautiful English

美麗英文

3. unlatch [??n?l?t?] vt. 開閂將……打開（或松開）；拉開（閂、銷等）

4. flop [fl?p] vi. （因疲憊而）猛然坐下（或躺下）

5. ruffle [?r?fl] vt. 豎起（羽毛）

6. scarlet [?skɑ?l?t] adj. 鮮紅的

7. beak [bi?k] n. （鷹、鸚鵡等的）喙

8. Polly [?p?l?] n. 鸚哥（鸚鵡的通稱）

9. get real！： 別傻了！現(xiàn)實點！

10. cracker [?kr?k?（r）] n. 薄脆餅干

11. 這句話是《星球大戰(zhàn)》系列中的一句經(jīng)典臺詞，曾多次出現(xiàn)在電影中，漢·索洛就曾說過這句話。

12. Han Solo： 漢·索洛，是電影《星球大戰(zhàn)》正傳三部曲中的一個主要角色。

13. stand by： 做好準備；準備行動

14. nudge [n?d?] vt. 把……輕輕地推動；（用肘）輕推，輕觸

15. walkathon [?w??k?θ?n] n. （尤指為特定事業(yè)籌款而進行的）步行馬拉松

16. lap [l?p] n. （跑道的）一圈

17. pluck [pl?k] vt. 摘；拔

18. double take： （對特殊情況等）愣了一會兒才恍然大悟（或大吃一驚）的反應(yīng)

19. squawk [skw??k] vt. （鳥）發(fā)出刺耳的尖叫聲

20. 這句話是每一部《星球大戰(zhàn)》電影的開場白，是一句十分經(jīng)典的臺詞。

此文為本刊與美國CM媒體集團的版權(quán)合作文章，

謝絕轉(zhuǎn)載。

（題圖·插圖 / 李熊mer）endprint