MISHMASH

MISHMASH

Not that kiNd of‘compaNioNship’

A father and son made news headlines around the world for their odd shared habit of keeping sex dolls. Not necessarily for sex—they both claim not to have used them for that though the father said he bought them for his son’s“needs”—but mostly for companionship. Cited in news reports under a pseudonym (no surprises why), the 58-yearold father and his 18-year-old son started keeping seven of the dolls after the father divorced the mother over her gambling debts. Each doll cost a whopping 10,000 yuan, which goes to show they do seem willing to spend a lot on dates. - daVid daWSon

fight or flight

A woman has been jailed for five days for using her mobile phone during a flight, which is a pretty harsh punishment for something that you have to admit at least one of your friends has done. Admittedly, China has developed a bit of a reputation for having unruly passengers on flights, but this does seem excessive. The woman, surnamed Zhang, had not only left her phone on but is alleged to have made calls. Apparently, flight mode just doesn’t cut the mustard with Chinese authorities. Another two passengers were jailed for the same offense in the past few months, but their penalties were less harsh. But even with the total at three, it does seem like these passengers are the sacrificial lambs for all the thousands of other passengers doing the exact same thing on almost every flight. - d.d.

Buzz off

Staff at Hong Kong’s Disneyland got quite the fright in mid-February when over 500 people had to be evacuated in a hurry over a bomb scare. A mysterious parcel had been addressed to the park’s managing director. Inside, there were wires and enough suspicious ingredients to set nerves on edge and get the bombsniffer dogs called in. As it turned out, the package had indeed been sent by an enraged man. The parcel contained the remnants of a busted Buzz Lightyear, of Toy Story fame. Turns out the father was angry about getting a broken toy and mailed it back to the place where he bought it, along with a letter that was—dare I say it?—full of incendiary language. - d.d.

music wakes maN iN coma

A 22-year-old coma patient in Guangzhou was woken from 10 days of stupor after a brain operation in February. Apparently the man, surnamed Ye, was woken by an overly cheerful guitarist whom the hospital had gotten to perform by his bedside. okay, so while the hospital may be calling it “music therapy”and media outlet Southcn.com reported this as a happy news story, we here at TWoC remain skeptical. Apparently the song that woke Ye was sung in English and called “Every Morning You Greet Me.” Nobody wants to wake up to greet that. Nobody. Least of all someone who’d just been through brain surgery. - d.d.

love coNtractually

For a woman in Xuchang, Henan province, love is not about spontaneity. It’s not about a chance meeting, or fate, or any of that silly romantic hogwash. Love is about an ironclad contract. And no, we’re not talking about marriage or pre-nups. on this year’s Valentine’s Day, of all days, the woman decided, according to news portal China News, that her dates had to first sign a 72-hour contract which stipulated no unwanted physical contact and that they must indulge her with walks in the park. The contract included a clause which allowed for them to continue the relationship if they both desired. Can’t you feel the love? - d.d.

desperate dad

In most Western countries, teenagers begin to distance themselves from their parents in the pursuit of independence, and it seems pretty normal. Things in China are a bit more complicated, but even so, one Hangzhou father evidently had a difficult time coping with distance from his university-aged son, judging by the full-page ad he took in a newspaper to extol the virtue of their buddy relationship. “Now we are no longer father and son, we are brothers,” he wrote in the advertisement, adding that he was concerned that his son had changed and was reluctant to talk to him. He also said in the advertisement that “the more I try to get close, the more you push me away.” If that is the case, then one can only assume this advertisement will catapult the kid to the other side of the planet. - d.d.