蠢萌的K5機器人，請遵循你內心的真理而活吧

I'm sorry to inform you that perhaps some robots are taking this whole "be more human" thing a bit too far. I've seen people make jokes about jumping into a river or out of a window when they feel distressed①, but one DC-based security robot appears to have interpreted this on a literal level.

We don't yet know the full story of what happened, but it appears the robot — a Knightscope K5 — ran itself right into a water fountain②inside an of fice complex. No word on whether it survived its injury or why the incident occurred. Did it hate its job? Did it just overhear some horrifying news? Did it realize that the future is not, in fact, now?

The K5 is evidently prone to making headlines about things falling over. Earlier this year, a drunk man was arrested for knocking the K5 over, though the robot wasn't always at the victim end of the spectrum after tripping up③a toddler④and coldly driving away last summer. The K5 was created to be used as a security patrol⑤robot, standing at five feet tall and weighing 300 pounds. Its rocket-like shape and armless design make it difficult for it to get back up after toppling over, but today's fall straight into a fountain seems truly like an act of free will. I wouldn't want your job either, K5. Live your truth.

很遺憾地告訴你，或許某些機器人對“更人性化”這件事過于當真了。我見過有人痛苦時會開玩笑去跳河或跳樓，不過華盛頓特區的一個保安機器人似乎真按字面理解這句話。

事情經過尚未可知，看上去是一個型號為Knightscope K5的機器人掉進了辦公樓的噴水池里。關于它是否幸免于難，以及為何發生落水事件，還沒有明確消息。它討厭自己的工作嗎？還是說它聽到了一些可怕的消息？它是不是發現了其實現在并不是未來？

顯然，K5機器人輕輕松松就能上頭條，而且總和摔倒有關。今年早些時候，一名醉酒男子因踢倒K5被捕。當然，機器人不總是受害者，它在去年夏天絆倒了一名幼兒，還冷漠地離開事故現場。K5被設計成安全巡邏機器人，站立時高1.5米，重達300磅。火箭外形和無臂設計使得它跌倒后很難重新爬起來。不過它今天徑直跌進噴水池看上去真像一種自發行為。我也不想做你的工作啊，K5。遵循你內心的真理而活吧。

① distressed 英 [d?'strest] 美 [d?'str?st]adj. 痛苦的；憂慮的；貧困的；受損的

② fountain 英 [?fa?nt?n] 美 ['fa?ntn] n. 噴泉，泉水；源泉

③ trip up 絆倒；挑剔

④ toddler英 ['t?dl?] 美 ['tɑdl?] n. 學步的小孩；幼童裝

⑤ patrol英 [p?'tr??l] 美 [p?'trol]n. 巡邏；巡邏隊；偵察隊vt. 巡邏；巡查