你怎么可以這樣呢

文◎Jim Willis 繪◎馬豆子

本文選自美國作家Jim Willis的暢銷書《Pieces Of My Heart—Writings Inspired by Animals and Nature》，以自述的形式講述了一只家犬對昔日主人的真情告白。當年作者用七千美元以全版廣告的形式在報紙上刊登了該文章，以一篇文章感動了所有的讀者。

掃我，朗讀給你聽

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics①and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite②a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad", you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?"but then you'd relent, and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected,because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together.I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your conf i dences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides.

Gradually③, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions. She,now your wife, is not a "dog person"-still I welcomed her into our home, I was happy because you were happy.

當我還是一只小狗的時候，我的頑皮滑稽每每惹你發笑，為你帶來歡樂。你把我叫作你的孩子，雖然家里許多鞋子和靠枕都被我咬得殘缺不全，我依然是你最好的朋友。無論什么時候我干了“壞”事，你總會對我搖搖手指說：“你怎么可以這樣呢？”不過最后你都會原諒我，把我撲倒然后搓我的肚皮。

你非常忙碌，但是我們還是一起努力讓我改掉了亂啃家居物品的壞習慣，雖然所花的時間比預期的要長。我依然記得那些夜晚，我總會跳到你的床上用鼻子蹭你，傾聽你的知心話和秘密的夢想，那時的我覺得生活簡直是完美無瑕。我們常常去公園散步和追逐，乘車兜風。

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them,and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to④my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs,poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch-because your touch was now so infrequent⑤-and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

漸漸地，你把更多時間花在工作和事業上，而花更多時間去找尋你的另一半。而我總會耐心地等你回來，在每一個絕望心碎的日子里給你安慰，永遠支持你哪怕是你糟透了的決定。你現在的妻子她并不是一個“愛狗之人”，但我還是歡迎她來到我們家。因為你開心，所以我也開心。

后來你們添了幾個小娃娃，我也跟你一樣萬分雀躍。然而你和她卻怕我會弄傷他們，大部分時間都把我關在另一個房間里，甚至關到籠子里。隨著孩子們慢慢長大，我也成了他們的好朋友。他們喜歡抓著我的毛搖搖晃晃地站起來，喜歡用指頭戳戳我的眼睛，喜歡研究我的耳朵，也喜歡親吻我的鼻子。我喜歡他們的一切，尤其喜歡他們的撫摸——因為你現在已經很少觸摸我了——如果有必要的話我會用我的生命去保護他們。現在，你的事業迎來了一個新的機遇，你們要搬到另一個城市去，移居到一幢不許養寵物的公寓里。終于，你為“家庭”做出了正確的抉擇，可是曾幾何時我就是你唯一的家人？

坐在你的車里我充滿了期待，然而我們到達的卻是一家動物收容所。你不得不掰開你兒子緊抓著我項圈的手指，而他哭喊著：“不要！爸爸，求你不要讓他們帶走我的狗狗！”我很替他擔心，因為你剛才教他的人生課程：什么是友情、忠誠、愛、責任，還有對所有生命的尊重，是多么的歪曲錯誤！

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city,and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we a r r i v e d at the animal shelter. You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar, as he screamed "No, Daddy. Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty⑥, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

你避開我的目光，最后一次輕輕拍我的頭說再見，并禮貌地拒絕帶走我的項圈及皮帶。

雖然這里的人整天忙得團團轉，但只要有時間，他們總會盡量照料我們。在這里我不愁食物，可是數日以來我已經食不下咽了。剛開始，每當有人經過這牢籠，我都會滿心期待地沖上前去，希望是你來了——以為你回心轉意來把我接回去——希望這只是一場噩夢……

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you.

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first,whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was youthat you had changed your mind-that this was all a bad dream...

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured"How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said"I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself-a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

那天傍晚我聽到她向我走來，然后我跟著她輕輕地穿過長廊，走進一個獨立的房間。在這異常安靜的房間里，她把我放在一張桌子上，揉著我的耳朵叫我不要擔心。我已料到即將發生的事情，而我的心為此猛烈地跳動著，可是同時也浮現出一種解脫的感覺。她溫柔地為我的前腿綁上止血帶，此時她的淚珠滑下了臉頰。我溫柔地舐她的手，猶如許多年前我在你悲傷的時候安慰你一樣。我昏昏沉沉地躺下了，看著她親切的眼睛，我喃喃地說：“你怎么可以這樣呢？”

也許是她聽懂了我的話，她對我說：“真是對不起?！彼龘碇?，急忙向我解釋說這是她的工作，她要保證把我帶到一個更好的地方，一個充滿愛和光明，跟塵世完全不同的世界，在那里我不會再受冷落，遭欺凌，被遺棄，也不需再自謀生存……

我使盡全身最后一絲力氣用尾巴重重地敲了一下桌子，竭力想讓她知道這句“你怎么可以這樣 呢？”并不是對她說的，而是對你說的，我最愛的主人。我一直都在想念你，我會永遠懷念你，永遠等待你。我只希望你生命中的每一個人也可以這么忠誠地對待你。

① antic 英 ['?nt?k] adj. 古怪的；滑稽可笑的 n. 滑稽動作

② despite 英 [d?'spa?t] 美 [d?'spa?t] prep. 盡管，不管

③ gradually 英 ['gr?d??l?; 'gr?dj??l?] 美 ['gr?d???li]adv. 逐步地；漸漸地

④cling to 堅持；依靠；依附；緊握不放

⑤ infrequent 英 [?n'fri?kw(?)nt] 美 [?n'frikw?nt]adj. 罕見的；稀少的

⑥ loyalty 英 ['l???lt?] 美 ['l???lti] n. 忠誠；忠心