我是怎么反抗校園霸凌的

繪◎馬豆子

掃我，朗讀給你聽(tīng)

"Hey, loser! How do you like your new school uniform? I think it looks great on you." Those were the words of my high school bully①bully 英 ['b?l?] 美 ['b?li] n. 欺凌弱小者；土霸vt. 欺負(fù)；威嚇 vi. 欺侮人,Greg Amberfield. Now, if you're all wondering if the underwear that Greg used was clean, I had the same question.

At age 14, when I went to school, my high school bully Greg, would stop me in my tracks during recess and would tell me,"I'm gonna so get you outside.I'm gonna knock you in your teeth, punch you in the gut②gut 英 [g?t] 美 [ɡ?t] n. 內(nèi)臟；腸子；劇情；膽量；海峽；勇氣；直覺(jué)；腸vt. 取出內(nèi)臟；摧毀（建筑物等）的內(nèi)部adj. 簡(jiǎn)單的；本質(zhì)的，根本的；本能的，直覺(jué)的, and laughat your sorry behind." But he didn't quite use the word "behind".I just cleaned it up because this is a Toastmasters program.

“嘿！廢物！你喜歡你的新校服嗎？我覺(jué)得你穿著超贊的！”這些話是我中學(xué)時(shí)期的惡霸格雷·安伯菲對(duì)我說(shuō)的。好的，如果你們都在想，格雷給我穿的那件內(nèi)褲是不是干凈的，我也有同樣的疑問(wèn)。我14歲上中學(xué)的時(shí)候，我學(xué)校的惡霸格雷會(huì)在下課時(shí)間攔住我，對(duì)我說(shuō)：“我會(huì)在學(xué)校外面堵你，我會(huì)打斷你的牙齒，狠捶你的肚子，然后嘲笑你的后面被打得落花流水。”只不過(guò)他當(dāng)時(shí)用的不是“后面”這個(gè)詞。我只是講得比較文雅一點(diǎn)，畢竟這是演講會(huì)的節(jié)目。

Have you ever wondered why bullies always thought they need to tell you the exact sequence they're gonna bully you?My friends, whenever I heard those words, my hand would tremble③tremble 英 ['tremb(?)l] 美 ['tr?mbl] vi. 發(fā)抖；戰(zhàn)栗；焦慮；搖晃vt. 使揮動(dòng)；用顫抖的聲音說(shuō)出 n. 顫抖；戰(zhàn)栗；搖晃. Have you ever felt so fearful that you could not eat or sleep? At age 16, Greg was six feet tall and weighed 240 pounds of what I can only presume to be biological insulation④insulation 英 [?nsj?'le??(?)n] 美 [,?ns?'le??n]n. 絕緣；隔離，孤立.

I tried everything I could. I tried buying a cake for Greg,hoping he would stop, only to have the cake on my face. I tried telling the teacher about it, only to have Greg torment me even more. I even tried taking up taekwondo and karate, only to break my wrist while I tried to hit a thin plank.

She said, "The way to deal with bullies is not to hide or run; the way to deal with bullies is to outsmart and outlast." It was like a light bulb in my mind that went"Bing! I can do that".

Several years later, after my encounter with Greg, I met a bigger bully, a better bully, a stronger bully. This bully would echo negative words to me, telling me I’m a loser, telling me that I would never ever succeed. My self-esteem would be so damaged that some days, I would just want to lie in bed, not wanting to get up. Have you felt that way before?

My friends, as much as we try to deny it, we are our toughest and strongest bullies. We beat ourselves up, and putourselves down. Have you ever felt that you are not good enough? I felt that way. At times, we are our worst enemies.And at this point in time, if you are wondering: How long is Darren going to have this underwear outside his pants? This is the world championship of public speaking grand finals.Isn't five minutes too long? If you felt that five minutes was long, how long have you been wearing your invisible underwear outside your pants? How long have you permitted your inner bully to take charge of your life? Five minutes isn't long.

你有沒(méi)有想過(guò)為什么惡霸總是認(rèn)為他們需要告訴你欺凌你的每個(gè)步驟？各位朋友，每當(dāng)我聽(tīng)到那些話，我的手就會(huì)發(fā)抖。你有沒(méi)有那么害怕過(guò)？害怕到吃不下飯，睡不著覺(jué)？16歲的時(shí)候，格雷已經(jīng)身高183厘米，體重109千克。我只能假設(shè)他是一種不同的物種。

我嘗試過(guò)一切可能的方法。我試著給他買蛋糕，希望他能就此罷手，只換來(lái)蛋糕砸在我的臉上。我試過(guò)跟老師告狀，只換來(lái)他加倍折磨我，我甚至試過(guò)上跆拳道和空手道課。但是我在試圖擊破一塊薄板時(shí)手腕骨折。

她說(shuō)：“對(duì)抗霸凌的方法不是躲也不是逃，而是你要比他更聰明更長(zhǎng)久。”這句話讓我的腦袋像燈泡一樣亮起來(lái)，“叮！這我會(huì)啊！”

在我遇見(jiàn)格雷的幾年后，我遇到了一個(gè)更大的惡霸，更厲害的惡霸，更強(qiáng)大的惡霸。這個(gè)惡霸會(huì)讓負(fù)面的言語(yǔ)在我耳畔回響，跟我說(shuō)我是個(gè)廢物，我永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)成功。我的自信心被嚴(yán)重打擊了，以至于有些時(shí)候我只想躺在床上不想起來(lái)。你們有過(guò)那樣的感覺(jué)嗎？

I met Greg. I was shocked to meet him at a Toastmasters'meeting. Since when did the Toastmaster's logo turn from"Where leaders are made" to "Where bullies are made"?Greg, by the way, is now a counselor teaching teenagers to combat⑤combat 英 ['k?mb?t; 'k?m-] 美 ['kɑmb?t]vt. 反對(duì)；與……戰(zhàn)斗 vi. 戰(zhàn)斗；搏斗n. 戰(zhàn)斗；爭(zhēng)論 adj. 戰(zhàn)斗的；為……斗爭(zhēng)的bullies.

"The best way to deal with our inner bullies is not to run or hide; you cannot run away from the bully here. The best way to deal with it is to stand fi rm, face it and acknowledge its presence. When you do so, you are no longer identifying with it. You are stepping out⑥step out 走出去；暫時(shí)外出and observing it. It's like instead of being out there in the storm, you are now in the housewatching the storm. Your inner bully will weaken and fade."

各位朋友，就算我們?cè)噲D在否認(rèn)這件事，我們就是自己最強(qiáng)悍的霸凌者。我們苛責(zé)自己，貶低自己。你是否曾經(jīng)覺(jué)得自己不夠好？我有過(guò)。有時(shí)候我們就是自己最大的敵人。此時(shí)，如果你在想：Darren到底要把內(nèi)褲穿在外面多久？這可是一個(gè)公眾演講的世界冠軍總決賽，五分鐘難道不會(huì)太久嗎？如果你覺(jué)得五分鐘很久，你將那件看不見(jiàn)的內(nèi)褲穿在外面多久了？你允許內(nèi)心的惡霸控制你的生活多久了？五分鐘真的不久。

我居然遇到了格雷！在演講會(huì)上遇到他我是真的很驚訝！從什么時(shí)候開(kāi)始演講會(huì)的標(biāo)語(yǔ)從“領(lǐng)袖的搖籃”變成“霸凌的搖籃”？順道一提，格雷現(xiàn)在是一個(gè)咨詢師，教年輕人如何對(duì)抗霸凌。

“對(duì)抗內(nèi)在霸凌的最好方法不是逃跑或者躲藏。你沒(méi)有辦法逃離住在心里的惡霸。對(duì)抗它的最好方法是態(tài)度堅(jiān)定。正視它，并承認(rèn)它的存在。當(dāng)你這么做的時(shí)候，你就不再跟它一樣了。你跳脫出來(lái)并在旁邊觀察它。就像是原本困在暴風(fēng)雨里，現(xiàn)在你在家里從旁邊觀察這個(gè)暴風(fēng)雨。你的內(nèi)在霸凌將會(huì)減弱直至消失。”

I'm not afraid any more. I'm in control because I'm acknowledging it, I'm stepping out of it, observing it, and watching it weaken and fade. My friends, let us all not run away from our inner bullies anymore. Let us all face our inner bullies, acknowledge its presence, and fi ght. Let us all be vulnerable⑦vulnerable 英 ['v?ln?r?bl] 美 ['v?ln?r?bl]adj. 易受攻擊的，易受……的攻擊；易受傷害的；有弱點(diǎn)的together as a family, supporting one another,because we can all outsmart and outlast.

我不再害怕。我掌控一切。因?yàn)槲页姓J(rèn)它，我走出它，觀察它，并看著它減弱消失。朋友們，讓我們都不再逃避內(nèi)在的霸凌。讓我們一起正視我們內(nèi)在的霸凌，承認(rèn)它的存在，然后對(duì)抗它。讓我們盡管脆弱，但如家人一般在一起，互相扶持。因?yàn)槲覀兌伎梢愿斆骱透L(zhǎng)久！