爸爸媽媽，別再關(guān)注我朋友圈了

文◎Katherine Goldstein 譯◎周穎 繪◎也圓

有的小伙伴可能覺得，被父母看到朋友圈有些不自在，仿佛自己還要被家長時(shí)刻監(jiān)督一般。但其實(shí)，父母們?nèi)绱瞬桓事浜蟮亍摆s時(shí)髦”，并非是要對(duì)我們這些已長大離家的孩子“指手畫腳”，他們只是想離我們的生活更近一點(diǎn)，想要給我們更多的關(guān)心和愛。

I've never had any illusions①illusion 英 [?'l(j)u??(?)n] 美 [?'lu?n]n. 幻覺，錯(cuò)覺；錯(cuò)誤的觀念或信仰that Twitter was private,and I've always been acutely aware that I should never tweet something unprofessional②unprofessional 英 [?npr?'fe?(?)n(?)l] 美 [,?npr?'f???nl]adj. 非職業(yè)性的，非專業(yè)的；外行的. But all of a sudden Twitter felt a little less fun: Anything I tweeted I'd likely have to discuss with my dad later, even if it was as harmless as going to a gallery. If I wanted to tell him about it, I would. Living in a city hundreds of miles away provides a grown daughter with the privacy to selectively③selectively 美 [s?'l?kt?vli] adv. 有選擇地edit your weekend plans.Anything that I hinted at on Twitter I had to be prepared to answer for later. I couldn't block him. I didn't have the heart to do so. Instead I applied the test "Will I want to talk to Dad about this later?" to anything I tweeted.

Even as I became more aware of the degree of my dad's Twitter stalking④stalk 英 [st??k] 美 [st?k] n. （植物的）莖，稈；（支持葉子、果實(shí)和花的）梗，柄；追蹤；高視闊步vt. 追蹤，潛近；高視闊步vi. 高視闊步地走；潛近，偷偷接近and started gently teasing him about it, he was not deterred⑤deter 英 [d?'t??] 美 [d?'t?] vt. 制止，阻止；使打消念頭. When I saw him in person, he'd make a point to ask me in front of other people, "So how many Twitter followers do you have now, Katherine? Is it over 1,500? She has OVER 1,500 followers!" He'd brag to anyone in earshot. "I only have 200!” he would add.Isn’t the dream of every father for his children to be more successful than himself?

I think the pinnacle⑥pinnacle 英 ['p?n?k(?)l] 美 ['p?n?kl] n. 高峰；小尖塔；尖峰；極點(diǎn)vt. 造小尖塔；置于尖頂上；置于高處of my dad's Twitter mania came when Slate launched our newsblog, "The Slatest", which I oversee. Since he'd sort of gotten the hang of the retweeting thing, anything I tweeted related to the launch he'd retweet within minutes.

He was in such a flurry⑦f l urry 英 ['f l ?r?] 美 ['f l ?i] n. 慌張；疾風(fēng)；颶風(fēng)；騷動(dòng)vt. 使恐慌；使激動(dòng)vi. 慌張；激動(dòng)about "The Slatest" that he even called me during the middle of the workday to discuss it. Calling me during off i ce hours was the sort of thing I thought he'd only consider if someone had died. But Twitter also changed that. "I saw your tweet and I was just so excited that I wanted to say congratulations again! How's everything going?"

我從未幻想過推特是私密的，也總是十分清醒地知道我決不該發(fā)布不專業(yè)的推文。但突然之間，推特變得不那么好玩了：我所發(fā)布的任何內(nèi)容以后都可能得和老爸一起討論，哪怕是去看畫展這樣無關(guān)痛癢的小事。如果我想要告訴他的話，我會(huì)告訴他的。生活在千里之外的城市里，一個(gè)成年的女兒就有了一份隱私，可以有選擇地制訂自己的周末計(jì)劃。我在推特上不管提到些什么，都必須做好以后和老爸談?wù)摰臏?zhǔn)備。我又不能把他拉黑。我不忍心這么做。相反，我采取的辦法是不管我發(fā)布什么，我都要先問自己：“你以后想和老爸談?wù)撨@個(gè)嗎？”

雖然我越來越清楚老爸在推特上對(duì)我的跟蹤程度，并且也開始就此事和他開一些小玩笑，可他依然如故。見到他本人時(shí)，他常常會(huì)當(dāng)著別人的面特意問我：“凱瑟琳，你的推特上現(xiàn)在有多少粉絲了？超過1500個(gè)了嗎？她的粉絲都超過1500個(gè)了！”他會(huì)對(duì)能聽到此話的所有人都夸耀一番。“而我只有200個(gè)！”他會(huì)補(bǔ)充說。孩子比自己更成功，這不是每個(gè)父親的夢(mèng)想嗎？

當(dāng)《Slate》雜志推出由我監(jiān)管的新聞博客“The Slatest”時(shí)，我覺得老爸對(duì)推特的狂熱也達(dá)到了登峰造極的地步。由于他已經(jīng)差不多掌握了轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)的方法，我所發(fā)布的任何關(guān)于推出新聞博客的推文，他都會(huì)在幾分鐘內(nèi)進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)。

他對(duì)“The Slatest”如此緊張，甚至在上班時(shí)間他也會(huì)打電話來跟我討論。我本以為，只有當(dāng)有人去世的時(shí)候，他才會(huì)考慮在上班時(shí)間給我打電話 。 但推特連這一點(diǎn)都改變了。“我看到你的推文了，我太激動(dòng)了，我要再次向你表示祝賀！一切還順利嗎？”

I found myself using the service less and less, keeping it mostly to news links that caught my interest. I started relegating my increasingly fewer updates about my life to Facebook. Dad seemed less into Facebook,and there wasn't any easy option for him to get real-time updates sent to his phone. While he still brings up things he sees me tweet, over time he started to tone it down since there was less fodder⑧fodder 英 ['f?d?] 美 ['fɑd?] n. 飼料；素材 vt. 喂. Maybe a bit of the novelty wore off. Maybe he started following more people so it became harder to focus solely on me.

Recently, I tweeted out to my followers that I was taking suggestions of possible topics for a fourweek project. I immediately got an email about it, but it wasn't from my dad. It was from my mom. "I just saw your tweet, and I wanted and I wanted to tell you..."

我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己使用推特的次數(shù)越來越少，大多只是發(fā)布一些我感興趣的新聞鏈接。關(guān)于我個(gè)人生活的更新越來越少，而且我開始將它們轉(zhuǎn)移到Facebook上。老爸對(duì)Facebook似乎不那么入迷，而且也沒有什么簡便的方式將實(shí)時(shí)更新發(fā)送到他的手機(jī)上。雖然他還會(huì)提起他看到的我的推文，但漸漸地，他開始說得少了，因?yàn)橐褯]有多少談資。也許是他的新鮮感已慢慢消失。也許是他開始關(guān)注更多的人，所以只盯著我一個(gè)變得不那么容易了。

最近，我對(duì)粉絲們發(fā)布了一條推文，說我在為一個(gè)為期四周的項(xiàng)目征求話題建議。我立刻就收到了一封關(guān)于此事的郵件，但那不是老爸發(fā)的。發(fā)信的人是老媽：“我剛剛看到你的推文，我想告訴你……”