豬隊友

豬隊友

Dummy Friend

My roommate likes to check out her ID card every now and then. I asked her why and she said："Sometimes when I think I grow ugly, I take out my ID card to see my photo on it. Then I will be assured①assured 英 [?'???d] 美 [?'??rd] adj. 確定的；自信的that I just worry too much."

我的室友時不時拿出身份證看，我問她原因，她說：“有時候覺得自己變丑了，就拿出身份證看看上面的照片，結果發現自己多慮了。”

I was showing off in my dorm, "Look at my new dress, isn't it pretty?" One roommate said:"Wow! What a pretty dress! Don't you wanna get aplastic surgery②surgery 英 ['s??d?(?)r?] 美 ['s?d??ri] n. 外科；外科手術；手術室；診療室to go with it?"

我在宿舍顯擺：“你們看我新買的衣服好看不？”一室友說：“哇塞，好好看的衣服呀，你不去整個容搭一下嗎？”

Our school demanded of everyone to hand in a one—inch photo with red background. There were two dummies in my dorm: one cut a two-inch photo into halves, while the other painted her one—inch white background photo with her red nail polish, twice! And the nail polish was luminous. Red, and Iuminous… Can you imagine that?

學校讓交一張紅底的一寸照，我們寢室的兩個極品，一個把兩寸的照片剪成一寸，一個把白底的一寸照涂上了指甲油，還刷了兩層！可是，那指甲油是夜光的，紅色，夜光的……你能想象嗎？

My roommate said to me:"Look at the moon tonight. Doesn't it just look like the five yuan that I lent to you last week?"

室友問我：“你看今晚的月亮，像不像上周我借給你的5塊錢？”

I forgot to take my towel into the bathroom so I had a roommate to get it for me. A few moments later, she brought me a mirror. I was stunned and said to her:"I asked for a towel!" She was more stunned than I was, "Oh, I thought you said mirror I was wondering what the hell you needed a mirror for when you bathed. And a magic mirror…"

有次洗澡忘帶毛巾了，喊一室友幫我拿毛巾。不一會兒，她拿了一面鏡子給我，我當時就懵了，說：“我要的是毛巾呀？”我室友比我還懵：“哦，我把毛巾聽成了魔鏡。我還納悶你洗個澡要啥鏡子，還是魔鏡……”

A dummy roommate bought a giant teddy bear. He bollowed it out and hid himself in it to escape bedroom checking during every morning exercise. However, he was caught finally. That day, he was hiding inside the bear as usual. When he heard the door shut, he stood up and found the principal③principal 英 ['pr?ns?p(?)l] 美 ['pr?ns?pl] n. 首長；校長was still there. Our principal was almost scared to death when he saw a big teddy bear standing up.

一個逗比室友買了一只大泰迪熊布偶，把它掏空，每天晨練時就躲布偶里，防止查寢室，可是后來還是被抓了。那天，他和往常一樣藏里面，然后聽見關門的聲音就起來了，誰知道校長沒走，他突然看見一只泰迪熊爬起來，差點嚇死。