誰的青春不叛逆

譯◎東方君 繪◎秋林夕

As I nervously awaited my turn at Claire's, the man with all the piercings assured me it was no big deal①. My racing heart told me otherwise. Sitting in the chair, the employee had me choose an earring. By this time, my anxiety was at all-time②high. Taking her time, the lady carefully set up the piercing gun

當我在克萊爾飾品店里緊張地等著輪我打耳洞時，那個耳朵上打滿耳洞的男人向我保證這沒什么大不了的。我坐在椅子上，為我打耳洞的店員讓我挑選一只耳釘。那一刻，我的焦慮感達到空前的高度。那位女士不慌不忙地調好穿耳槍，然后清洗了我的耳朵。與此同時，我仍在考慮自己為什么要打耳洞。and cleaned my ear. Meanwhile, I continued to consider why I was doing this.

Teens believe that resisting conformity③makes them individuals or makes a statement. Author Quentin Crisp summed it up④best: "The young always have the same problem—how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying⑤their parents and copying one another."

The slight stinging right after the click of the gun was nothing compared to the pain to come. In the weeks that followed, I could not sleep on my left side and had to clean my ear three times a day. The pain never seemed to go away.

When my dad returned, I attempted to cover the piercing with my hair. Surprisingly, even when the earring was in plain sight, he failed to notice. In some twisted way I wanted to be punished. I wanted it acknowledged that I had done something wrong. So I waited until my mom returned. To my disappointment⑥, she didn't react either.

The majority of us rebel for absolutely nothing. We want a reaction, so we do something shocking just for the sake⑦of doing something shocking.

One morning, a few months after my act of rebellion, I woke up to throbbing⑧pain in my left ear. I unscrewed the back of the earring and blood gushed out. As I pulled the earring out,the pain miraculously disappeared.

Sometimes I unconsciously brush my fi ngers over the spot where my earring used to be. If I press hard enough, it still feels a little sore. I am pretty sure that small bump will never go away.

青少年們認為，拒絕服從能讓他們成為與眾不同的人，或是表明自己的立場。作家昆汀·克里斯普總結得最為精妙：“年輕人總是面臨著同樣的問題，即如何同時做到反叛與服從。如今他們通過反抗自己的父母和效仿彼此解決了這一問題。”

緊隨穿耳槍“咔嗒”一聲之后的輕微刺痛感完全不能和后面將要來臨的痛苦相提并論。在接下來的幾周里，我睡覺時根本無法左側臥，而且每天必須清洗耳朵三次。那種疼痛似乎從未消失過。

爸爸回來時，我試圖用頭發蓋住耳洞。出人意料的是，即使是在一眼就能看到我的耳釘的時候，他都未能察覺。有點糾結的是，我竟想要被懲罰，想要大家認可我做了件錯事。于是，我一直等著，直到媽媽回來。令我失望的是，她也毫無反應。

我們中大多數人的叛逆都毫無緣由。我們希望得到回應，于是僅僅為了做點出格的事情而做了點出格的事情。

在這次叛逆之舉過了幾個月后的一天早晨，我從左耳的一陣抽痛中醒來。我擰開耳釘后面的扣，鮮血隨之冒了出來。當我摘下耳釘時，疼痛竟奇跡般地消失了。

有時，我的手指仍會在無意間擦過以前戴耳釘的那個地方。如果我稍微用點力，那里還是會有點兒疼。我很確信那個小小的凸起永遠都不會消失。

①no big deal 沒有什么大不了的

②all-time 英 ['?:ltaim] adj. 空前的；全部時間的；歷來的

③ conformity 英 [k?n'f??m?t?] 美 [k?n'f?rm?ti]n. 一致，適合；符合；相似

④sum it up 概括，總結

⑤ defy 英 [d?'fa?] 美 ['difa?]vt. 藐視；公然反抗；挑釁；使落空 n. 挑戰；對抗

⑥to my disappointment 令我失望的是……

⑦for the sake 為了……；為了……的利益

⑧ throbbing 英 ['θr?b??] adj. 悸動的；跳動的 n. 跳動，激動