翻譯擂臺（第15期）

翻譯擂臺（第15期）

【原文】

[1]厭倦是人生第一件罪惡，也是人生第一件苦痛。厭倦是一種想脫離活動的心理現象。換一句話說，就是不愿意勞作。[2]你想，一個人不是上帝特制出來充當消化面包的機器，可以一天不勞作嗎？[3]只要稍為動一動不愿意勞作的念頭，便是萬惡淵藪。[4]換個方面看，無論何等人，總要靠勞作來維持自己生命，任憑你怎樣地不愿意，勞作到底免不掉。

——梁啟超

【點評】

梁啟超不但是中國近代史上杰出的思想家、政治家，而且是一位大教育家。他的九個子女各個成才，“一門三院士，父子九專家”，其秘訣是言傳身教。選文是他對學生的演講，也可看作是對后輩的教誨。

[1]中，關于“厭倦”的譯詞，參賽者用的是boredom、tiredness、weariness、indolence、ennui等，應當說都不算錯，但經辨析：①ennui為法文，固然有“a feeling of being tired, bored and dissatisfied”之意，但不夠常用；②indolence為inactivity resulting from a dislike of work，更多的是“懶惰”；③weariness是temporary loss of strength and energy resulting from hard physical or mental work，即暫時性的倦??；④tiredness類似于weariness；⑤而boredom（bored的名詞形式）為tired、impatient、have no interest in doing anything，是一種常態化的厭倦，故更為確切。

“罪惡”的譯法，有的用了crime，需知該詞的主要意思是an act which is against the law，即違法行為，然此處并非該意；而evil是morally objectionable behavior，更多道德色彩，同時可泛指一切惡事（見[3]）；guilt本義為an unhappy feeling after having done something wrong，主要是內疚，顯然不符。當然，用的最多的是sin，該詞最初源于宗教，意為an action or type of behavior which is believed to break the laws of God，original sin（原罪），但又不限于宗教，因the laws of God與natural law（自然法）相通，多指一種本性上的“惡”，如：①他們沒有任何道德觀念，生活中充 滿 罪 惡。（Without any moral consideration, they are now living in sin.）②He saves us from the power of sin.（他使我們擺脫了罪惡勢力。）

但該句的譯文很容易冗贅，如：Boredom is the first sin of life, and also the first suffering of life. / Tiredness is the guilt of the first thing all one’s life and the first pain of one’s life. / Boredom is the most sinful and also the most painful thing in ...，等等。實則可以簡化，避免重復，突出主旨。

“心理現象”，大都譯成了psychological phenomena，如：Boredom is a psychological phenomenon that someone wants to separate himself or herself from activities.這未免過于表面化了，實則，這里講的是一種生活態度，故不妨用mentality，意為a particular attitude and way of thinking，即主要是一種“心態”。此段中第二個“厭倦”顯然有遞進之意，即“實質上是……（不愿或厭惡做任何事）”，而“不愿意勞作”其實就是懶惰！同時，英語口語里說“煩了”，還可用sick of，如：I am so sick of all the noise and traffic here.（對這里的噪音和交通混亂，我真煩透了。）

故此，[1]不妨譯為：Boredom, in my view, is the most painful thing, and a sin to suffer. In essence, it is the mentality of being sick of doing anything at all.In other words, it’s lazy!

[2]中，“你想”，一般譯成了just think、just imagine、think about that等，比較典型的，如：Think about that, as humans are not a machine created particularly by God to digest bread but can human not work for a day long?/Just think, a man was not supposed only to be a bread eater when God created him. Could he have a single day without working?/ You see, men are not created by God to be bread-consuming machines. How could we live a day without working? 有的將此處三個分句整合為一句：“You may save yourself from hard work only if you were a God-made bread digester which, unfortunately you are not”，也是非?？扇〉模M管在形式上距原文較遠。其實，這里的“你想”，是啟發讀者意識到（這樣一個事實），而“消化面包的機器”是指食而不作。故[2]不妨譯為：One has to realize that man was not created by God to be a machine merely to digest food. How can one fail to work?

[3]中，“只要稍為動一動……念頭”，一般采用了... don’t have a slight error in thought/ Don’t think a little bit about .../ So long as you give rise to the thought .../ If you somewhat occur to an idea that (you are averse to working ...) /as long as you toy with idea of (unwilling to work)/ As if you have an idea of not(work)等譯法，似乎都是一種思路，而“The moment the tendency of being sick of working began to erode your mind, you already fell into abyss of extreme evil”則別開生面！其實，英語里還有一種通俗表達法：not even to think of it /not to even think about that，如：You should not try to smuggle any drugs in that country, where the most severe penalty is in place; don’t even think of it?。莻€國家對毒品走私有最嚴厲的制裁；不要試圖做那種事——想都不要想?。┕?[3]可譯為：It’s best not to even think about that, since boredom is the source of all evils.

[4]中，將“換個方面看”譯成from another prospective / on the other hand / put in another way等，似乎都可接受。“維持自己生命”，即“生存”“生活”之意，但又不宜簡單地譯成maintain (sustain) life / to exist through working等。有的譯成Anybody needs to work to keep them alive，其中的“keep ...alive”是使役句式（causative verb），即“使其活下去”，顯然有誤；此處應為自動詞（intransitive verbs），如make a living，或to survive，其本義為continue to live、endure or last，類似的還有endure、hold up、hold out等。總的講，此句的實際意思是，任何人都別想不勞而獲，可表達為：you shouldn’t expect to get something without any labor / there is no free lunch in the world / there is no reaping without sowing，等等。故此，[4]不妨譯為：Put in another way, whoever wishes to survive has to labor to support oneself, no matter if one is willing or not.

此段演講，接續的還有一句話（因篇幅所限刪去了），“免是免不掉，愿是不愿意，天天皺著眉哭著臉去做那不愿做的苦工，豈不是活活地把自己關在第十八層地獄？”，此處也不妨翻譯如下：Fully aware of the necessity to work, should one still frown reluctantly at one’s job every day? Is that any different from sinking oneself into the bottom of hell? 僅供參考。

（點評人：林巍，暨南大學翻譯學院特聘教授）

【優勝者】

@chen65123 @wgu111 @福星小丫 @龍龍