哭出來就好了

哭出來就好了

Sometimes You Just Have to Cry

在生活中，你是怎樣疏導情緒的呢？你是會把它默默地藏在心底，還是會讓它盡情釋放呢？其實無論是遇到好的情緒還是不好的情緒，我們都應把它釋放出來，不必強忍。

I remembered losing my father to a sudden car accident a number of years ago. I tried to remain strong through it all. One day, when a song came on the radio that reminded me of my dad, I completely1)lost it. It was the first time since the2)funeralthat I just3)let goand cried. It felt good to not4)hold backanymore.

The earliest memory I have of my father is one of me as a young boy holding his hand by his two last fingers as we walked together. His hands seemed so large that his fingers were all I could actually5)grip. He always took me with him to basketball games even at my young age. I will never forget that.

As I grew older, I remember dad and I listening to high school basketball games together on an old6)transistor radio. I would make a list of players’ names on a piece of paper and7)keep track ofhow many points each would score as the game went on. Too small to stay awake for the whole game, I always fell asleep before the game ended. When I would wake up in the morning, I would find the score8)sheetlying next to me. The score sheet would be filled out with the final score on it completed by my father before he carried me to bed.

1) lose it 〈口〉 未能控制住脾氣（或情緒）

2) funeral [?fju?n?r?l] n. 葬禮，出殯

3) let go 放開，釋放

4) hold back 抑制，阻礙

5) grip [gr?p] v. 抓住，緊握

6) transistor radio 半導體收音機

7) keep track of 記錄，計清……的數目

8) sheet [?i?t] n. 紙張

In high school, I became very interested in athletics. My father would attend all my games. My9)senior year, our football team qualified to play in the state10)championshipgame. It was the first time in the history of our school that any team had advanced that far. The night before the game, my father came to me and sadly announced that he would not be able to attend. He had to deliver the bread to the stores and the site of the games was a three-hour drive from his route. Back then I acknowledged his comments without fully noticing his regret.

The next day as game time approached, I couldn’t help thinking about my dad. Suddenly, I saw his blue and white bread truck pulling into the stadium. He has delivered the bread and made the long drive in time to at least see part of the game in which we won the state championship.

Years later, I had become a teacher and coach. Early one morning, I was awakened by the sound of the telephone ringing at 5:30 A.M. As I11)struggled toanswer the phone, I’ll never forget the sound of the12)sheriff’s voice on the other end, telling me that my dad had just been killed in an automobile accident on his way to work. As I listened to the fact, I could hear my heart beat in my ears. I hung up the phone,13)devastated. It felt as if my heart had been14)torn away, and in a sense, it had.

For a long time, I pretended that I didn’t care and still lived my own life. But one day I was on the school playground, a little boy walked up to me and grabbed my hand by my last two fingers, just like I used to do to my dad. When that little boy touched my hand, I realized I missed my dad so much and I hoped that he were there for me. And I lost it again, but I felt a sense of relief.

Now I have my own child, like his father, there will be times in my son’s life when he will feel pain. Whatever he will face, I hope he will remember the words “It’s okay. Sometimes you just have to cry. You won’t need to hold back anymore. ”

我猶記幾年前突如其來的一場車禍讓我失去了父親，當時，我努力地讓自己堅強地熬了過去。有一天，收音機里播放的一首歌讓我想起了我的父親，我徹底失控了。這是在葬禮后我第一次釋放自己的情緒，哭出了聲。不用忍著的感覺真好。

我對父親最早的記憶是在我小的時候，我們一起走在路上，我抓著他最后兩根手指頭。他的手似乎很大，所以我只能抓著他的手指頭。雖然那時我還很小，但他會帶我去看籃球賽。這是我永遠都不會忘記的。

當我慢慢長大，我仍記得父親和我一起守在收音機前收聽高中籃球賽的日子。在比賽進行時，我會在紙上記下每位選手的名字，以及他們各自的得分情況。但那時年紀太小了，我每次都不能聽完整場比賽，總是會在球賽結束前就睡著了。第二天醒來時，我都會看到放在我旁邊的記分表。這個記分表是我父親在抱我回房間前填好的。

讀高中時，我開始對運動十分感興趣。我父親會觀看我所有的比賽。在我高三那年，我們那支足球隊打進了州錦標賽。這是我們學校有史以來打得最好的一次。比賽前一晚，我父親很難過地告訴我他不能夠觀看我的比賽了，因為他必須把面包送到各家商店，而那條路線離我比賽的地方有三小時的車程。那時我聽到了他的話，卻沒有留意到他話中的遺憾。

第二天當比賽快要開始時，我不由自主地想起了我父親。突然，我看到他那輛藍白相間的面包貨車駛入了露天體育場。他已經送完面包，并開了很長一段路，為的是至少能趕上看到部分的比賽，這場我們贏了州冠軍的比賽。

多年后，我成為了老師和教練。一天清晨五點半，我被電話聲吵醒了。我掙扎著起來去接了電話，而我永遠不會忘記電話那頭治安官的聲音，他告訴我說，我父親在上班途中發生了車禍，去世了。當我聽到了這件事時，我也聽到了自己的心跳聲。我極為悲痛地掛掉了電話。那感覺像是我的心被撕裂了一般，在某種程度上，也確實如此。

在很長的一段時間里，我都裝作無所謂并繼續著自己的生活。有一天，在學校操場上，一個小男孩向我走過來，拉著我最后的兩根手指頭，就好像我以前拉著我父親那樣。當那小男孩碰到了我的手時，我才意識到我是如此想念我的父親，我是多么希望他能在這里陪伴著我。我又再次失控了，但我感覺到了一絲寬慰。

現在我有自己的孩子了。和他父親一樣，我兒子在他的人生中也會有感到痛苦的時刻。無論將來他要面對什么事，我希望他能記住：“沒關系的。有時候你只需要哭出來。你不必繼續強忍。”

9) senior year 畢業學年

10) championship [?t??mp??n??p] n. 錦標賽

11) struggle to 掙扎著

12) sheriff [??er?f] n. 郡治安官，州長

13) devastated [?dev?ste?t?d] adj. 極為震驚的，極為悲痛的

14) tear away 撕掉，奪走