孔子擇婿

文/周東娜

孔子擇婿

CONFUCIUS SELECTED SON-IN-LAW

文/周東娜

再偉大的人也有著和常人一般無二的家庭生活。據記載，孔子19歲那年迎娶了宋國女子亓官氏，從此結束了單身生活，步入了婚姻。時過一年，孔家添丁，獨子孔鯉來到了人世。當時的孔子雖然年方弱冠，卻已是魯國的名人。聽說孔家有了弄璋之喜，貴為一國之主的魯昭公連忙派人登門祝賀，并帶了一條大鯉魚作為賀禮。初為人父的孔子倍感榮幸，當即給兒子取名為“鯉”，字之曰“伯魚”。在孔鯉之后，孔子和亓官氏這對小夫妻又生了個寶貝女兒。或許是孔鯉未能從父親那里繼承來足夠多的優良基因，以致于各方面都表現得十分普通，孔子內心里不免對其有些失望；相反，襁褓中的女兒卻表現得異于常人，長大之后更是聰明伶俐，因而頗得父母歡心。

轉眼間，女兒便已成長為身材高挑、楚楚動人的大姑娘，也陸續有熱心人上門提親。但無論是張家還是李家，不是做長輩的口碑有些差，就是孩子自身的條件不太好，總之都讓孔子感到不那么理想。他自忖：與其坐等“媒妁之言”，還不如祭出“父母之命”，自己給女兒物色個婆家，這樣，女兒一輩子的幸福就有了可靠的保證。打定了主意，孔子說做就做，開始對自己的弟子“過篩子”。

當把結了婚、脾氣差、毛病多、年齡和體貌明顯不般配的弟子一一排除之后，公冶長的形象便浮現在了孔子眼前。“就是他了！”孔子沒有片刻的猶豫，果斷地決定把女兒許配給這位弟子。消息傳開，眾弟子驚詫不已、面面相覷，竊竊議論道：“老師難道是瘋了嗎？”左鄰右舍更是眼睛瞪得老大，腦袋搖得像是撥浪鼓：“這位孔先生真是奇了怪了，大戶人家的公子他看不上，到頭來卻要把如花似玉的親閨女嫁給那樣一個人！看不懂，真是看不懂啊！”

人們為何對孔子決定把女兒許配給公冶長反應如此強烈？原來，公冶長其人不僅家庭貧寒，還蹲過大牢，算是人生履歷中有嚴重污點的人。對于這位弟子的家境和既往，孔子心里十分清楚，不過在他看來，這些都不是問題。因為其一，誰都不能選擇自己的出身，出身貧寒不是過錯，怨天尤人、自暴自棄才最可悲，至于公冶家的這位后生，他不僅好學上進，而且樸實善良，自己的女兒嫁給這樣的人，絕對是正確的選擇；其二，坐牢固然不是光彩之事，但也得看究竟為何。公冶長憑借自己懂鳥語的特長幫著老嫗找到了其失蹤兒子的尸體卻被誣告殺人，官府查明原委后將他從牢獄中釋放出來，在孔子看來屬于好人蒙冤，“非其罪也”。而從公冶長事后毫不計較、大度為懷的表現來看，坐牢與其說是他人生中的污點，倒不如說是一大亮點。

孔子把這番道理向周圍的人們說開了，大家無不點頭稱是，感慨系之地說道：真不愧是圣人啊！看問題想事情就是眼光獨到、與眾不同。當然，“知父莫若女”，聽了父親的決定后，做女兒的二話不說就愉快地接受下來，成親之后便踏踏實實地與夫婿過起了小日子。后來，學有所成的公冶長回到家鄉，仿效自己的老師興辦私學，培養了很多學生，為儒學的傳播作出了很大貢獻。

Agreat man also has a normal family life which is exactly like that of ordinary people. After having a son, Kong Li, Confucius's wife gave birth to a baby girl.

In no time, Confucius's daughter had already grown into a tall, lovely young lady. Some warm-hearted people started to come to propose marriage. However, no matter what the family was, either that the elders had a poor reputation or that the child's own conditions were not good made Confucius dissatisfied with them. In the end, Confucius decided to look for a husband for his daughter by himself, and then he begun to consider his disciples. After excluding the disciples who were married, who were in bad temper, who had some defects and whose age and appearance were obviously not suitable, Confucius thought of Gongye Chang.

Gongye Chang, the young man, was not only eager to learn and progress, but also simple and kind-hearted. It was absolutely the right choice for his daughter to marry such a person. After listening to his father's decision, the daughter happily accepted it without any hesitation. After the marriage, the couple steadfastly lived a simple and happy life.