英語書面表達奪“帥”妙法

【名師簡介】尹繼友：湖北省黃岡市拔尖人才，全國教研優秀教師，現代英語研究所研究員，全國多家英語刊物的特約編輯。主編或參與編寫教輔書籍20余本，出版了個人專著《尹氏口訣英語考試必備》《尹氏英語朗朗口訣法》。

筆者連續多年從事高三英語教學并參加書面表達的閱卷工作，發現書面表達的平均得分都不高，現把高考書面表達閱卷的得分點和寫作踩分技巧總結出來，助力2016年高考。

Part 1：“形”“神”不散

英語寫作要求“形”不散，“神”也不能散，這是考生在寫作文時尤其要注意的。“形”即文章的句子，“形不散”即句與句之間要連貫，句子要有變化;“神”即文章的中心，“神不散”即文章要圍繞一個中心來進行寫作。

一、骨架立體：“形”不散

1.使用連詞、副詞、過渡詞語，使句與句之間連貫。

例1：Yesterday I got up at 7：00. I got dressed and washed myself quickly. I rushed into the living-room. My mother was preparing breakfast. I had breakfast at 7：30， I got my bike and went to school.

這段文字的“形”是散的，句子不連貫。這樣的句子只是松散地堆積在一起，要使它們有機連貫，必須用一些詞語把它們連接起來。可以改為：

Yesterday I got up at 7：00. Then I got dressed and washed myself quickly. I rushed into the living-room. My mother was preparing breakfast. Later I had breakfast at 7：30. After that I got my bike and went to school.

2.使用多種句式，使文章句子表達富于變化。在一篇文章里，既有簡單句，也要有復合句，如名詞性從句、定語從句、狀語從句等，或非謂語結構、with獨立結構等。

例2：On weekdays afternoon ，we had an hour for after-class activities from 4：20 to 5：20.The activities are divided into three parts. One is called sports. Sports include ball games， track and field gym and so on. The second is recreation. It includes singing， dacing and performance. The third is science and technology. It consists of science reading， computer operating and experiments.

文章通篇都用同樣結構的句子，顯得很沒有生氣，千篇一律，得分較低。如果使用多種句式，表達方式多樣，就顯得生動、有活力。上段文字可以改為：

On weekdays afternoon， we had an hour for after-class activities from 4：20 to 5：20.The activities are divided into three parts. One is called sports， including ball games， track and field gym and so on. Recreation is another part with singing， dacing and performance. The third is science and technology which consists of science reading， computer operating and experiments.

二、血肉豐滿：“ 神 ” 不散

“神”不散的有效辦法之一是利用主題句寫作，即公式main idea = topic sentence 1 + topic sentence 2。考生首先要確定文章的中心，每段列出一個主題句，由主題句來反映文章的中心內容。其次，對每段的主題句展開寫作，主題句可以由若干個分句來支撐。

例3：

Dear Tom，

Im really glad to write to you.

Is everything ok？ I returned to my motherland six months ago. I often think of the days we spent together. Besides， I also appreciate it that you did me a favor on my English learning. On no account can I make such great progress without your timely help. Thank you again. Do you know how Mr Smith is now？ I feel like getting in contact with him. However， in no case can I find the address of him. Should you have the address or e-mail of him？ Please tell me as quickly as you can. I cant wait to write to him. The traditional Spring Festival is around the corner. Would you like to come here to enjoy the biggest festival celebrated by us？ I bet that you will have an enjoyable travel that cant be forgotten. Best wishes.

這篇書面表達是一篇佳作， 語法結構和詞匯應用準確， 句式靈活多樣，如運用了倒裝句：On no account can I make such great progress without your timely help;定語從句： I often think of the days we spent together;非謂語動詞：enjoy the biggest festival celebrated by us。此外，文章也有效運用了連接成分，如 besides、on no account、in no case，這使全文結構緊湊，在一定程度上體現了考生扎實的語言功底。

從以上我們可以看出，掌握了大量的過渡詞和表達句式后，要恰當運用到書面表達里，這能使文章連貫、流暢。運用豐富的詞匯和得當的句子結構，可以給文章增色不少，從而使整篇文章因此而生輝，“神”不散的道理就在此。

Part 2：立“帥”、出“帥”和亮“帥”

古人云：“意猶帥也。”這里的“帥”就是指文章的中心。寫人記事類的書面表達以記敘、描寫為主，有較強的情節性和形象性，更要注意立“帥”、出“帥”和亮“帥”。這三點是閱卷老師評卷的重要依據。立“帥”，即書面表達的論證要符合要求，不能跑偏。出“帥”，這里的“出”是指向和突出的意思，立“帥”之后，考生在取材、構思、結構和手法上都要接受“帥”的指揮，用各種方法突出“帥”的內涵。最后看文章是否亮“帥”，這里的“亮”是指語言文字上的強調和深化。如果出“帥”是喻主題于情節和描寫之中的話，那么亮“帥”就是通過議論和抒情直接亮出帥旗。

例4：

Nowadays some students would not like to live in a dorm. Instead， they rent houses outside the school. There are advantages for both. Living in a dorm can increase friendship and cooperation between classmates. And of course it is safer. Whats more， it can be useful for their study. Unsatisfied as I was with my study， actually so that I have tried my whole heart and soul.

A dorm is more like a society， which enables students to learn to adapt to each other， thus preparing for the social life later. As for renting houses to live alone， it is better for study as you can feel free in your own room without being interrupted by others. Every student should know that although you maybe failed the exam， but you can also be useful to the country. We must have a clear goal.Then we will have a great power to work and studying .As a result， you can have more time and devote yourself to studying whole-heartedly. But there may be some safety problems as you live outside the school.

Anyhow，as a student， I prefer living in a dorm.In a word， now our country is developing more and more faster and so we need more and more people who have good education.I believe it this is a good chance for me to show my ability.

這篇習作的論述緊緊圍繞“學生住校和校外租房”各自的好處這一主題，論述沒有跑偏，立“帥”很成功。在文章構思上，作者客觀論述了住校和校外租房對學生的有利影響，最后以anyhow亮明自己的態度。文章符合學生年齡的特點，不老氣橫秋，出“帥”的過程也是表現學生情趣的過程。

在亮“帥”方面，作者運用了較豐富的詞匯和表達結構，如instead、as for、adapt to和定語從句、非謂語結構等。但也有一些瑕疵：actually這個詞通常用來更正錯誤的信息， 這里情況并非如此，因此應該用as a result;同一句中用了although就不需要用but了;between classmates使用錯誤，這是中文式表達;第二段第二句出現用詞錯誤，應該把can改成may。

有難題解不開，有學習經驗要分享，可隨時呼叫《求學》智囊群，群號：115940561。