Chinese Children, Lost on the Starting Line

By Cao Baoyin

Chinese Children, Lost on the Starting Line

By Cao Baoyin

S un Yunxiao,an expert in problems with teenagers,published in 1993 an article titled“A Summer Camp Contest”,indicating that Chinese children failed in the competition with their Japanese counterparts. Through the years,however,Chinese children seemed to fail in making much evident progress as in a recent contest with South Korean children—again the Chinese team was defeated.

Different Attitudes in Training

On July 7,2015,I had a conversation with the Korean art training agency C&K ACADEMY about business partnerships during the China International Children’s Culture and Art Week.

The chairman of board of directors,Li Chunri found that Chinese children are commonly spoiled and vulnerable.Many Chinese parents even had conflicts with Korean trainers because they think their children had to endure too much pain due to the strictness of the training.

On the contrary,Korean children are generally able to endure hardships and their parents also regard“No pains,no gains”as a prime value in their education.Instead of arguing with them over the difficulty of their training,the Korean parents expressed more gratitude towards the trainers.

At the end of the day,it just served to prove that Korean children more readily achieve in art,while Chinese children remained at the level of amateurs in the“after school classes.”

In the competition with Japanese and Korean children,why is it that the Chinese are always on the losing end?

Professional artistic training is certainly quite demanding.The old Chinese saying that goes,“one minute on the stage requires ten years of practice off the stage”certainly well explains this educational concept.Nevertheless,many Chinese parents usually turn a blind eye towards the root cause of the low levels of tolerance to any physical or emotional pressure,as well as their children’s lack of survival skills,their aversion to stress, inability to deal with personal setbacks or take a challenge,and the fear of taking independent action,not to mention that they constantly challenge authority and try to subvert traditional cultural innovations.

Parents are the children's first teachers as well as important supervisors.If parents hold the wrong educational value, their children will very likely not grow up to be happy and well-adjusted adults. The reasons that Korean children perform better in painstaking tasks may have something to do with their competitive society,but on a deeper level it has to do with the recognition of their parents.Korean parents believe that after the bitter comes the sweet;only if their children develop strong character,outstanding capability,independent spirit and an unfettered mind can they enjoy happiness and career success in adulthood.

Strange“Left-Behind Children”

It is difficult to understand why many Chinese parents are unwilling to see their children having to endure physical pain,but would rather let them suffer from pains of emotional,affectional and familial problems.One of the best examples is that many higher-tuition international schools have received a large number of unusual Chinese“left-behinders”who have been away from home and living in school all the year round. Whereas,the perfect school facilities and excellent faculties are unable to replace the value of parenting in the growth and development of their children.

Recently,I was invited to the graduation ceremony for elementary school students in an international school.As an expert in child education and cultural development,I regard this graduation ceremony as a rite of passage of the children’s spirit.One student’s father commented loudly that he was fully confident that the school would accommodate his change of visitation frequency from once every two weeks to once every two months,and then to once a term untilhis child's graduation.

This father's“great confidence”actually shook my confidence in the development of his child's emotional and psychological well-beingalongwithhis family values.In rural areas,the lack of parenting skills and frequency of psychological disorders of“left-behind children”have caused serious social problems;but rural families have no way out of poverty.However,this father was highly affluent;he paid high tuition and miscellaneous fees to separate his child fromfamilythroughouttheschool semester.One can only imagine how pallid an understanding of his own family that any child so starved for the love and affection of his parents would have.

Parental company can be the best education for the children.It is like mother's milk thatcultivateschildren’s physical,emotional,affectional andmoraldevelopment. Children with parental guidance will feel more secure and score higher on the happiness index.Unfortunately,numerous Chinese parents are willing to let their children suffer from this pain;and still worse, this phenomenon has become a model for certain high income families,which indeed hurt their children badly.

The competition between children from China,Japan and Korea is actually acompetitionbetweenparentsfrom three countries over education concept and values.The fact is,Korean children take pains for the sake of happiness;in contrast,Chinesechildrenonlytake pains for more pain.Many parents in China believe they should“never let the child fall behind from the starting line,”but Chinese children suffering from inappropriate pains might have fallen behind because of the education values of their parents.

(FromChina NewsweekVol.27,2015. Illustration:Chi Xingcheng.)