什么阻止了你改變？

By Allan Zuck

Why Dont People Do Whats Good for Them？

漫漫人生路，需要不停地做出選擇和不斷地改變。但是面對這些選擇和改變，我們往往會顯得有些矛盾。有時候我們明明知道是有益之事，對我們好處良多，但是最終卻沒有選擇，這是為什么呢？其中緣由，讓我們一探究竟。

Why would people not be motivated to make changes that could improve their life？

And the answer is： Its a trick question1. People are motivated to do whats good for them. The problem is that “whats good for them” is often nowhere near as obvious as it sounds2—and that， even if they can figure out what that is， they may not believe that it will be possible for them to do it. Simply put， at the heart of the myth of being “unmotivated” lies the frustrating， demoralizing， completely human state of ambivalence.3

Imagine you begin to realize that something about your current behavior or situation might be a problem for you. You start thinking about making a change—and almost immediately you think about what making that change would cost you. Sure， losing weight and getting into shape will improve your health， give you more energy and zest， enhance your self-esteem.4 But it may also require you to give up sleep to work out in the morning， or lose precious time with family in the evenings； you may have to give up some of your favorite foods （and the comfort they bring） or tolerate feeling hungry （and the discomfort it causes）.

When it comes to important life decisions， just about every option a person is faced with has costs （real and perceived5） as well as benefits. To resolve your ambivalence you have to believe that the benefits of pursuing a path dramatically outweigh the costs—that the advantages of one option are clearly superior to the advantages of others.6 But what do I mean by “dramatically outweighs”？ How superior is “clearly superior”？

Imagine that I told you there existed a special pill7 that， if taken once a day， would cause you to live to be 100 and never be sick a day in your life. Would you take it？ Of course—the benefits of the pill far outweigh the minor inconvenience. But now imagine I told you that to receive the pill you would have to agree never to see any of the people you love again. Would you accept this bargain？

A long， healthy life is something that almost anyone would want—even make sacrifices for. Yet most of us value the people we love even more than we value our health—and when competing options provoke a conflict of values， you will almost always choose the option that you care about the most， even if it does bring costs of its own or seems wrong-headed to the people around you.8

But lets imagine youve decided that a particular change would bring many benefits and few costs and that it would be completely consistent with9 your values. Can we anticipate10 with certainty that you will take action to make that change？ Not necessarily. If you expected your efforts to fail， the chances are very good that11 you wouldnt even bother to try. And why should you？

Resolving ambivalence requires not only knowing the path that is right for you but also feeling confident about pursuing it—believing you can succeed at accomplishing what you hope to accomplish. If you believe you have a problem， but dont believe theres anything youre capable of doing to solve it， you have only two options： denial or despair. That is， you can tell yourself that you really dont have a problem （or that its not so bad） or you can face the idea that the problem is really serious but completely unsolvable and be consumed by12 hopelessness.

What influences how confident a person feels about succeeding at something？ The most powerful factor is our previous experience of success and failure： successes build confidence and failures erode it， unless we decide the failure was just a setback and well be able to succeed if we try a different approach.13 But its not just our history with a particular pursuit that shapes our beliefs about what we can accomplish； perceived successes in one area build confidence that we can succeed in others， just as perceived failures in one area can dent14 our confidence in general. And how we feel about ourselves overall—our general self-evaluation or self-esteem—can also play a role in whether we feel able to tackle any given challenge that we face.15

People are motivated to do whats good for them. When they see a clear direction forward—one that is consistent with their values and that they believe they can accomplish—theyre very likely to move ahead. What most people need to get unstuck16 is help deciding whats right for them and believing in their ability to get there.

1. trick question： 有意捉弄人的問題，帶有陷阱的問題。

2. 問題是“有益之事”本身遠不及它聽起來那么顯而易見。nowhere near as： 差得遠，遠不及。

3. frustrating： 令人沮喪的，使人挫敗的；demoralizing： 令人士氣低落的，使人泄氣的；ambivalence： 矛盾心理。

4. get into shape： 強身健體；zest： 熱情，興趣；self-esteem： 自尊。

5. perceived： 意識上的，感知的。文中的perceived cost意為“感知成本”，指人們在做出某一選擇的過程中感覺到的支出總和。

6. 解決這種矛盾心理的唯一辦法就是你必須相信選擇一條路的收益遠遠高出它的代價，也就是說這一選擇的好處明顯多于其他選擇。resolve： 解決；outweigh： 比……重要，勝過； superior to： 優(yōu)于，勝于。

7. special pill： 特效藥。

8. 然而比起健康，我們大多數(shù)人還是更重視我們愛的人，當不同選擇引發(fā)了價值沖突時，往往我們最重視什么就會做怎樣的選擇，即使這種選擇要付出代價或者在外人看來根本就是錯誤的。provoke： 引發(fā)； conflict： 沖突；wrong-headed： 錯誤的，執(zhí)迷不悟的。

9. be consistent with： 與……一致。

10. anticipate： 預(yù)見，預(yù)測。

11. the chances are very good that： 很有可能。

12. be consumed by： 充滿。

13. 影響最大的因素是我們之前的成敗經(jīng)歷，成功幫助我們建立信心，而失敗則會削弱自信，除非我們認定失敗只是一個小挫折，只要我們改變方法定能成功。erode： 削弱；setback： 挫折。

14. dent： 打擊，削弱。

15. 面對挑戰(zhàn)我們是否有信心去解決問題也取決于我們整體的自我感覺，包括整體的自我評價和自我尊重。overall： 整體的，綜合的；self-evaluation： 自我評價。

16. get unstuck： 走出困境。