所屬

By Sophie Zhang

Belonging

I used to be the kind of girl

Who would stare at the stars in the sky

For hours and hours each night.

I couldnt believe

That something could be

So beautiful.

How lucky I was，

To be witness to such twinkling glory，

To be so greedy to drink in as much

Beauty I could ever imagine.1

But I suppose it is human nature

To love and then want more，

To feel blessed and then entitled.2

Feelings of blessing are fleeting，

Easily overcome

By the strong beasts of our desires.3

I wanted more than what I could see，

And I told the world， the sky

That what I had wasnt enough.

I screamed to the night that

I wanted to have the stars， for them

To be mine and mine only.

And the world was kind， they only ever

Wanted to see me smile.

And one night， they granted4 my wish.

They gave me as many stars

As I could carry in my pockets

From high up above.

I took what they gave me and looked

At them up close.

Without the filter5 of the sky

How ugly the stars were！

How jagged and rough

And coarse the edges were！6

How tamed and unrestrained

Its light flashed at me！7

It hurt my eyes to look for

Even a moment， so

I put them in my pocket and thought

About my rage and disgust.8

How ugly the world was！

How deceitful9 to let me think

That it was beautiful！ To see and know

The lie I had been trapped in10！

They lied to me！ They lied to me！

They lied！

But the anger slowly melted to

Overwhelming disappointment.11

The stars were more than the sky

They were my heroes.

I screamed again at the big sky

How could you do this to me！

How could you let me down12 this way！

And they looked back at me，

Sorry for me，

Wiser than me.

So I caught my breath and stopped

Screaming， yelling， beating my fists.13

I opened my pockets up

And gave the stars back to the sky.

Up they went， farther and farther away

They flew， until

They were beautiful again， masked14

By the blessing of distance.

For a moment， I could not believe

That something so ugly up close

Could be the same glittering miracles

I saw dotting the deep navy sky.15

How grateful I was，

For these small lanterns that transformed

A scary dark mass into

The friendly night sky that I so loved.16

And it was then when I realized

That the stars were the most beautiful

In the very place they belonged.

1. 我有多幸運，得以目睹這樣的光輝燦爛；我有多幸運，得以貪飲這難以想象的美好。be witness to： 目睹；twinkling： 閃爍的，閃耀的；glory： 輝耀，燦爛。

2. blessed： 快樂的，幸運的；entitled： 有資格的。

3. fleeting： 短暫的，轉瞬即逝的；beast： 野獸。

4. grant： 滿足（愿望，要求等）。

5. filter： 過濾。

6. jagged： 凹凸不平的；rough： 粗糙的；coarse： 粗糙的。

7. tamed： 平淡的；unrestrained： 不受約束的，肆意的。

8. rage： 盛怒；disgust： 厭惡。

9. deceitful： 欺騙的。

10. trap in： 使陷入，使困于。

11. melt： 融化；overwhelming： 壓倒一切的。

12. let sb. down： 讓……失望。

13. catch ones breath： 歇一口氣；yell： 叫喊；fist： 拳頭。

14. mask： 掩飾，掩蓋。

15. 一時間我感到難以置信，那個曾于眼前的丑陋之物，竟能成為綴于深藍色天空的閃耀奇跡。glittering： 閃閃發光的；miracle： 奇跡；dot： 點綴；navy： 深藍色的。

16. lantern： 燈籠；transform： 使改變；mass： （顏色、陰影等的）一大片。