陌生的自己

文/Nyx_X 　譯/小J　繪/馬豆子

陌生的自己

文/Nyx_X 譯/小J繪/馬豆子

She slid①slid 英 ［sl?d］ 美 ［sl?d］ v. 滑；滑落；不知不覺地陷入（slide的過去分詞）the tape into the VCR and watched as the screen came alive. On it were two familiar people that she knew， but yet，they seemed like strangers all the same. But if she thought about that day hard enough， she knew who they were. It was her and Matt； him happy and alive， her joyful and glad.

But the accident changed everything. She could no longer go on stage with him by her side and stare②stare 英 ［ste?］ 美 ［st?r］ vi. 凝視，盯著看；顯眼vt. 凝視，盯著看 n. 凝視；注視into his eyes and slowly feel her panic③panic 英 ［'p?n?k］ 美 ［'p?n?k］ n. 恐慌，驚慌；大恐慌 adj. 恐慌的；沒有理由的 vt. 使恐慌 vi. 十分驚慌fall away， she couldn't even sing in her room with no one looking. And she knew it was because without him there was no music， just a scared girl falling apart day by day.

On the screen the two strangers were singing，watching only each other，but still staying at a perfect pitch④pitch 英 ［p?t?］ 美 ［p?t?］ vi. 傾斜；投擲；搭帳篷；墜落 vt. 投；擲；定位于；用瀝青涂；扎營；向前傾跌n. 瀝青；音高；程度；樹脂；傾斜；投擲；球場. When it ended he pulled⑤pull 英 ［p?l］ 美 ［p?l］ vt. 拉；拔；拖vi. 拉，拖；拔n. 拉，拉繩；拉力，牽引力；拖her into a hug and then they turned， bowed，and walked off stage. The screen went black and she started to cry， because that's how she felt now: empty and black. The person on the screen was a stranger， and yet it was her. And Matt was gone. She might have been that person before， but now she was far from her old self. Sometimes， time can't heal⑥heal 英 ［hi?l］ 美 ［hil］ vt. 治愈，痊愈；和解vi. 痊愈old wounds⑦wound 英 ［wu?nd］ 美 ［wund］ n. 創傷，傷口vt. 使受傷vi. 受傷，傷害.

她把錄像帶放進錄像機，看著屏幕開始播放。屏幕上是她熟悉的兩個人，但他們看起來十分陌生。不過若她仔細地回想，便能知道他們是誰。那是她和Matt；快樂鮮活的他和開心愉悅的她。

但那場事故改變了一切。她再也不能和他并肩站在舞臺上，看著他的眼睛，感覺自己的恐懼漸漸消散，她甚至不能再在房間里獨自唱歌。她知道那是因為沒有他就沒有音樂，只有一個膽小的女孩在一天天崩潰。

屏幕上的兩個陌生人在唱歌，他們注視著彼此，但仍維持著完美的音調。曲終，他擁抱了她，他們轉身，鞠躬，走下舞臺。屏幕暗下來，她開始哭泣，因為那正是她現在的感覺：空虛和黑暗。屏幕上是一個陌生人，但確是她自己。Matt已經走了。也許她曾經是那個人，但現在她離從前的自己越來越遠。有時，時間不能治愈舊的傷痕。

A Stranger to Myself