全職爸爸又如何？

As a stay-at-home dad， I am the economic equivalent of a zero.

This revelation came to me at my local 1）Costco where， upon checkout， I am often asked to apply for their new cashback credit card. Usually， I politely decline， preferring to leave the crowded store with my bulging shopping cart.

I finally gave in. “Sure， why not？” I said when asked for the 2）umpteenth time.

A kind lady 3）escorted me to Customer Service. We began the application process cheerfully.

“Just a few questions， sir，” the kind lady said， starting with name， address and postal code. She worked down the list toward “occupation” .

“What do you do for a living， sir？”

“I’m a stay-at-home dad，” I replied confidently.

She paused， unsure of what to write， and temporarily left the field blank.

“Employer？”

“My wife，” I laughed. The kind lady chuckled.

“Income？”

I do some 4）odd jobs here and there so I told her “about$10，000.”

She looked at me， hesitant again， and queried： “Per month？”

I laughed heartily. “Per year.”

“I’ll tell you what， sir. I’m gonna write you in as a student with an annual income of $15，000.”

That’s kind of weird， I thought. “Do they give cards to students？” I asked.

“Oh yes， sir. No problems if you fill the form this way.”

“Alright.”

I shrugged and walked away， thanking the kind lady. It didn’t hit me at first， but as I was pushing my cart， an 5）indignant voice rose from within. I didn’t want to lie about my occupation. I’m proud to be a stay-at-home dad. I finally became comfortable telling people what I do， so now， I won’t be 6）marginalized！

I went back to the kind lady and said： “Listen， I don’t want to lie on my application.”

She said she was only trying to help. If she wrote the truth I’d be rejected. I thanked her for her efforts but asked her to tear up my application. “Absolutely， sir，” she said.“Sorry for the trouble.”

I left the store feeling unloved by our Gross Domestic Product. Don’t get me wrong， I’m not too hung up about this. Stay-at-home moms have faced these types of issues a lot longer than I have. But it can sure feel like a thankless job， sometimes. （Yes， I am comparing the work of stay-athome parents to that of paid positions.） Our work—cooking， cleaning， taking care of the kids—is important.

Why do I feel a bit insecure at times when I declare my status as stay-at-home dad？ Why do I occasionally feel compelled to 7）append： “I’m a writer， too”？ Is it not enough to be simply a stay-at-home dad？ Sometimes， the 8）caveman inside me wants to jump out with his big stick and grunt：“Me man！ Me should support family！” Years of cultural conditioning are hard to cast aside.

Then I 9）ponder： What does it really mean to be a man？ I have concluded that it isn’t about how much money you make， or how well you can frame a stud wall （though that is a useful skill for anyone）. To me， it’s more about being true to yourself and to those you love； to be responsible， caring， honest and patient. And it is possible to be more than one thing. Yes， I am a stay-at-home dad. Yes， I am a writer.

As for the economic merits of paying stay-at-home parents， I will leave that debate to the policy makers and special-interest groups. While my work is not counted by the economy， it is acknowledged by those who matter most to me： my family.

By staying at home， I had more time to teach my sons how to ride their bikes. I learned to cook a mean homemade chicken noodle soup. I’ve been fortunate enough to attend every school concert or performance my kids have been in. I’ve developed a unique bond with my children， one I don’t think I would have achieved within the same time frame had I gone back to work.

I am okay with being financially dependent on my wife—we made that decision together. We made a monetary sacrifice. It works for our family， but I don’t claim the arrangement is better or worse than anyone else’s.

One day， when our kids are a bit older， I’ll jump back into the paid work force. When that day comes， I’ll miss cutting the crusts off their sandwiches every day， and picking them up at the bus stop. I’ll think fondly of the day my youngest son said： “I wanna be a stay-at-home dad and a writer when I grow up.”

And next time Costco asks me if I want to apply for their new cash-back credit card， I’ll smile and say： “No thank you. But you could try asking my wife.”

作為一個全職爸爸，我的經濟價值等于零。

在我家當地的好市多結賬時，我認識到了這一點。他們經常會問我要不要申請他們的新現金支取信用卡。通常，由于更想帶著我那滿滿的購物車離開擁擠的人群，我都會禮貌地拒絕。

我最后還是投降了。“沒問題，為什么不呢？”當第N次被問到這個問題時，我這樣回答道。

一位親切的女士把我帶到了客戶服務中心。我們在愉快的氛圍下開始了申請流程。

“問您幾個問題，先生，”親切的女士說道，從姓名，地址以及郵編開始。她接著往下問到了“職業”。

“您從事什么職業呢，先生？”

“我是個全職爸爸，”我自信地回答道。

她停了下來，不確定要怎么填，就暫時把那處留空。

“雇主是？”

“我妻子，”我大笑道。親切的女士咯咯地笑了起來。

“收入？”

我有到處做一些零工，所以我跟她說：“1萬美元左右。”

她再次遲疑地看著我，詢問道：“每月？”

我哈哈大笑：“每年。”

“請注意，先生。我要把你寫成是個年收入為1萬5千美元的學生。”

那有點奇怪，我想道。“他們會給學生開卡嗎？”我問道。

“會的，先生。只要你這么填就沒有問題。”

“好吧。”

我邊聳肩離開邊向那位女士表示感謝。剛開始，我并不覺得那有什么，但當我推著購物車的時候，我的內心響起了一個憤怒的聲音。我不想就我的職業撒謊。我對自己是一名全職爸爸感到自豪。我總算能自在地跟別人說起自己是做什么的了，所以現在，我不要被邊緣化。

我掉頭回去找那位親切的女士，對她說：“聽著，我不想就我的職業撒謊。……