To Promote Friendships, Be a Friend

My article on “Meaning of Friendship” was published by Voice of Friendship in September 2013. I was proud to show it to my friend， Ashfaq Ishaq， Executive Chairman of International Child Art Foundation in Washington DC. In my cover letter， I ended up saying that Friendship to me means simply sharing good feelings. To my great surprise， Ashfaq replied enthusiastically， and suggested， “Why don’t you consider coming to DC in July 2015 to conduct a Workshop on Good Feelings at the ICAF’s World Children’s Festival?”

Although not at all experienced in leading workshops， I did have some experience in teaching， and I thought that the platform ICAF provides could help me launch a possible idea that “Friendship should not be left to Happenstance， and Positive Relationship are more possible if Children of the World are first induced to have a Positive Attitude to seek Friendly Good Feelings.” I accepted Dr. Ishaq’s invitation without hesitation.

I subsequently invited a good friend， Stephen K. Smuin and another young friend， Christopher Fiorentini， to join me to lead the inspiring activities necessary for such a Workshop. Stephen is retired from the famous Odyssey School in San Mateo， Ca. and is presently CEO of Da Vinci Educational Consultants. I have seen Smuin’s performance many times and found them especially effective with younger students from different cultural backgrounds. Chris is a film maker who has also tutored youth for fifteen years. Both are innovative， kind， and very friendly individuals.

With Stephen’s leadership we decided that our workshop theme will be， “To Promote Friendships， Be a Friend. While we are still devising how best to create a long-term impact on this selected group of international students within a limited amount of time， I am now designing a souvenir for them to bring home after the Festival. The souvenir should be attractive and contemporary in design， but the message will be a simple reminder of “what it means to be a friend”. Since our selected international students will be between 10 to 13 years old， we better make things as clear， simple and effective as possible.

The latest idea: Simple Friendly Principles — “Dos” “Don’ts”

12 “Dos” Reach out be a friend: Be joyful positive; be encouraging sympathetic; be competent helpful; be trustworthy reliable; be open tolerant; be patient calm; be considerate respectful; be humble willing to apologize; be enthusiastic engaging; be sincere loyal; be smart but also kind; and be generous unselfish.

12 “Don’ts” Avoid stirring up fear， suspicion， anger resentment: Don’t be indifferent， passive， or afraid; don’t be self-righteous， arrogant demeaning; don’t be disrespectful inflexible; don’t be humorous while hurting others pride; don’t be hurtful not give a darn; don’t be a bully – only feared but never loved; don’t be carelessly critical pour cold water over another’s enthusiasm; don’t be cynical or spread 1 fears; don’t be pretentious or hypocritical; don’t expect other people to change instantly; don’t expect others to agree with you on everything; don’t let a small difference turn into heated argument， an insult on one-another’s pride， to anger then hatred.

Smile， put Happiness into lives of others， and Share Good Feelings; you will gain many Good Friends. It’s simply the Golden Rule: Do unto others what you would have them do unto you! Conversely， don’t do unto others what you would not want them to do unto you.

Good feelings is what we are striving for. To know the what or what not is reasonably easy. To actually devise the How Tos – really how to spark and induce friendship， how to avoid misunderstandings， how to create and share happy or meaningful moments， and how to make friendship flourish worldwide are， indeed， far more difficult and complicated.

I hope to make another report on this after Stephen， Chris， and I have completed our Workshop at the ICAF’s World Children’s Festival at Washington DC’s National Mall， this July. I seriously think that it’s time to start a school of friendshipology as we now have Harvard School of Education， Berkeley School of Environmental Design， Yale’s School of Divinity， and Stanford’s School of Medicine， etc.， etc..