幽默小故事

山東省臨清市于瑩供稿

幽默小故事

山東省臨清市于瑩供稿

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

“George，how did you like your new teacher？”asked his mother.

“I didn’t like her，mom，because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six，too.”

新老師

9月1日，喬治放學(xué)回到家里。

“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？”媽媽問。

“媽媽，我不喜歡她，因?yàn)樗f3加3得6，可后來又說2加4也得6。”

Improvement1

One student says to another，“How are your English lessons coming along？”

“Fine.I used to be one who couldn’t understand the Englishmen，and now it’s the English men who can’t understand me.”

進(jìn)步

一位學(xué)生對(duì)另一位學(xué)生說：“你的英語最近學(xué)的怎么樣？”

“很好，我過去聽不懂英國人說話，可現(xiàn)在是英國人聽不懂我的話了。”

Are You Using Your Mower2this Afternoon?

Mr.Johnson:Are you using your mower this afternoon？

Mr.Smith:Yes.

Mr.Johnson:Fine.Then can I borrow your tennis racket，since you won’t use it？

今天下午您準(zhǔn)備用割草機(jī)嗎？

約翰遜先生：今天下午您準(zhǔn)備用割草機(jī)嗎？

史密斯先生：是的。

約翰遜先生：太好了。既然您不用網(wǎng)球拍，那我可以借用一下嗎？

I Had to Change It Twice

Judge:I don’t understand why you broke into the same store three times in a row？

Robber:Well，Your Honor，I picked out a dress for my wife，and I had to change it twice because she didn’t like the style.

我不得不換兩次

法官：我真不明白你為什么連續(xù)三天夜里闖入同一家商店呢？

盜賊：噢，閣下，我為我妻子挑選了一件衣服，因?yàn)樗偸遣幌矚g衣服的樣式，所以我才不得不換了兩次。Diner:Hey，waiter.This soup tastes like dish water！Waiter:How do you know？

How Do You Know?

你是怎么知道的？

就餐者：嗨，服務(wù)員！這湯嘗起來像刷盤子水！服務(wù)員：你是怎么知道的？

The Spider Will Eat It

Diner:Waiter，there’s a fly in my soup.

Waiter:Don’t worry，sir.The spider on the bread will eat it.

蜘蛛會(huì)把它吃掉

就餐者：服務(wù)員，我的湯里有一只蒼蠅。

服務(wù)員：不要擔(dān)心，先生，面包上的蜘蛛會(huì)把它吃掉的。

She Is Not Good at Playing the Piano

Piano tuner:I’ve come to tune3your piano. Lady:But we didn’t send for you.

Piano tuner:No，but your neighbours did.

她不擅長(zhǎng)彈鋼琴

鋼琴調(diào)音師：我來給你的鋼琴調(diào)音。

女士：可是我們并沒有派人去請(qǐng)你呀。

鋼琴調(diào)音師：是的，不過是你的鄰居請(qǐng)我來的。

Answering the Iron4

A guy goes to work，and both of his ears are all bandaged5up.

The boss says，“What happened to your ears？”

He says，“Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and（holds iron to ear），shhh！I accidentally answered the iron.”

The boss says，“Well，that explains one ear，but what happened to your other ear？”

He says，“Well，I had to call the doctor！”

沖著熨斗回話

一個(gè)小伙子去上班，兩個(gè)耳朵上都纏著繃帶。

老板說：“你的兩個(gè)耳朵怎么啦？”

他說：“昨天，我熨襯衣的時(shí)侯，電話鈴響了（做出把熨斗舉到耳邊的姿態(tài)），咝！我不小心拿熨斗接電話了。”

老板說：“好，這只耳朵解釋完了，但是另外一只耳朵怎么啦？”

他說：“是這樣，我不得不打電話給大夫！”