誰(shuí)說(shuō)殘疾一無(wú)是處

Before I start this list， I would like everyone to know that I am not making fun of or minimizing the difficulties of being disabled. I am disabled， so I have freedom to talk about this. Remember， laughter makes everything easier ... except maybe eating with your mouth closed.

在開(kāi)始列舉下面的內(nèi)容之前，我想告訴大家，我并不是在取笑或輕視殘疾帶來(lái)的困難。我自己就有殘疾，因此可以自由地討論這個(gè)話題。記住，笑一笑，萬(wàn)事易——不過(guò)你閉著嘴吃東西的時(shí)候恐怕要除外。

People are nice （in general）

Our dog got out of the back yard and knocked over a little neighborhood girl. When the mom came over to yell at us and I came to the door in my wheelchair， she blushed and started explaining that she just wanted to make sure that the dog wasn't mean and her kids didn't need to fear it ... Now， I don't recommend letting your dogs out to terrorize the neighborhood， but I do not think she would have had the same attitude if I had not been in a wheelchair.

（大體上）人人友好和善

一次我家的狗竄出后院，將鄰家的小女孩撞倒在地。小女孩的媽媽跑過(guò)來(lái)沖著我家大吼，等我坐著輪椅來(lái)到門(mén)口時(shí)，她漲紅了臉，開(kāi)始辯解說(shuō)她只是想確定我們家的狗不是兇狗，她的小孩不用害怕……在這里，我并不建議各位放狗出去嚇唬鄰居，但我覺(jué)得，要不是我坐著輪椅，小女孩的媽媽就不會(huì)是這樣的態(tài)度了。

You have access to some of the coolest

gadgets out there

My wheelchair is the deluxe1） model （pink flames， full tilt2）， leg lift， can bring up to eye level/counter height， etc.）， but you know what I like even more？ My grabber3）. Even if you are not disabled， you should get one of these things. It can pick up small pieces of paper， things that weigh about 3 lbs， and can reach into small cracks that your hand could never fit in. I got one for free from the therapists （best thing about breaking my hip）， but you can buy them online and probably in some stores.

能得到一些炫酷至極的東西

我擁有一架高配置的輪椅（粉色車(chē)架、可最大幅度傾斜的靠背、腿托、可調(diào)到視平線/柜臺(tái)高度的功能等），但你知道我更喜歡什么嗎？我的拾物器。就算你沒(méi)殘疾，你也應(yīng)該弄一個(gè)這樣的東西。它能拾起細(xì)碎的紙片和大約三磅的重物，還能伸進(jìn)人手絕對(duì)伸不進(jìn)去的細(xì)縫。我的拾物器是治療師們免費(fèi)給的（是我盆骨斷裂的最好的禮物），不過(guò)你可以網(wǎng)購(gòu)到，也許還能在一些商店里買(mǎi)到。

You have access to some of the coolest

gadgets out there

My wheelchair is the deluxe1） model （pink flames， full tilt2）， leg lift， can bring up to eye level/counter height， etc.）， but you know what I like even more？ My grabber3）. Even if you are not disabled， you should get one of these things. It can pick up small pieces of paper， things that weigh about 3 lbs， and can reach into small cracks that your hand could never fit in. I got one for free from the therapists （best thing about breaking my hip）， but you can buy them online and probably in some stores.

Provides great writing material

If you enjoy writing， having a disability can provide some great ideas. I am working on my books The Art of Wetting Yourself， The Silence of the Hamstrings4）， I've Fallen and Can't Reach My Grabber， and a few others.endprint

獲得絕佳的寫(xiě)作素材

如果你喜歡寫(xiě)作，身有殘疾能給你帶來(lái)一些非凡的創(chuàng)意。我目前正在寫(xiě)的書(shū)包括《尿濕衣服的藝術(shù)》《沉默的肌腱》《我跌倒了，夠不著拾物器》以及其他一些作品。

Life slows down

Not only can you "stop to smell the roses"， but you can also make people walking behind you uncomfortable， notice the dust all over your house， pretend you are dancing under a strobe light5） by stopping every few feet to rest and changing your pose， and other fun things.

生活會(huì)慢下來(lái)

你不僅能“停下來(lái)聞聞玫瑰的芳香”，還能讓走在你身后的人感到不舒服，你會(huì)留意到滿屋的灰塵，還可以走幾步歇一歇再換個(gè)坐姿并假裝這是在伴著頻閃燈跳舞……以及其他諸多樂(lè)事。

Little children stare at you

OK， I know it sounds like that would be a bad thing， but think of all the embarrassed parents. All the lectures going on about how kids shouldn't stare at people who are different， etc. If you added it all up， I bet you would be as well-known as movie stars. （Too bad we don't make money off people watching us.）

小孩會(huì)盯著你

好吧，我知道這聽(tīng)起來(lái)像是件壞事，但想想所有那些因此而感到尷尬的家長(zhǎng)們吧，以及所有那些關(guān)于孩子們?nèi)绾稳绾尾荒芏⒅疤厥馊巳骸钡母嬲]等等。如果將這些目光加起來(lái)，我打賭你會(huì)和電影明星一樣出名（糟糕的是，我們可沒(méi)法靠人們盯著我們看來(lái)賺錢(qián)）。

You have an opportunity to reach out to6） the world

Although sometimes （especially around a certain time each month） I am sure I get as depressed/angry/suicidal as anyone else， but if I am having a good day， I like to think that maybe I made a difference in someone's life. Whether it is just by showing my kids that they can't let life's circumstances get them down or helping someone realize that there is always someone worse off than you， so suck it up7） and quit complaining. Sometimes life throws you a curve8） and you just have to do what you can and to do what you love.

你有機(jī)會(huì)幫助世界

盡管有時(shí)候（特別是每月的某個(gè)時(shí)間段）我確信我會(huì)和其他任何人一樣變得消沉/憤怒/厭世，但日子過(guò)得順心的時(shí)候，我又覺(jué)得或許我給他人的生活帶來(lái)了改變——無(wú)論僅僅是現(xiàn)身說(shuō)法告訴我的孩子們絕不能被生活境況打倒，還是幫助人們認(rèn)識(shí)到總有人比你處境還慘，所以要接受現(xiàn)實(shí)、不再抱怨。有時(shí)當(dāng)生活讓你陷入困境時(shí)，你就不得不盡力而為，做自己喜歡的事。

1. deluxe [?d??l?ks] adj. 高級(jí)的；豪華的；奢華的

2. full tilt： 在這里指輪椅靠背傾斜度可調(diào)整到最大幅度。tilt [t?lt] n. 傾斜

3. grabber [?ɡr?b?（r）] n. 拾物器

4. hamstring [?h?mstr??] n. 繩肌腱；腿筋

5. strobe light： 頻閃燈

6. reach out to （sb.）： 幫助（某人）

7. suck it up： 接受困境；忍住艱辛

8. throw sb. a curve： 給某人設(shè)置障礙endprint