Before You Can Pick Your Own Nose寫給我的親親寶貝

Dear Son，

Im writing to you when you are at the tender age of just 37 days old in order to take the time to reflect on who you are and to be grateful for it.

You see， your dad and I realize that at this very moment in time， you are 100% dependent on us. We knew of this great responsibility once we found out we were pregnant with you.

You need us to provide you food， shelter， warmth and all your basic needs to help you grow. You havent been potty1） trained yet， so your diapers are our responsibility. You rely on us for everything， but you cry and sleep and poop on your own. You even rely on us to pick your nose， which we still havent figured out how to do.

And one day， it has occurred to me， you wont need us for anything at all.

I have read so many mommy articles lately about the hardship of motherhood， with the attendant2） rah-rah3） over how many sacrifices moms make. And while I absolutely agree that motherhood has its challenges， I want to also appreciate the beautiful things about motherhood， because there truly are so many things that only you and I experience together. Your growth so far has made me realize so much about myself and about your evolution from our baby to one day， a self-sufficient young man.

At some point in time， the things that can drive a new mom crazy will fade. So， for now， I will stop and find the beauty and joy in the smallest things you do.

You cry and wail at the top of your lungs4）. I choose to be grateful that you are 100% healthy. Your lungs are functioning and until you can communicate with words， crying is the only way to let us know that you are displeased with something. And son， we hear you loud and clear. When you were born， you let out a cry that struck a chord5） in the hearts of both your father and me. And even though you cry mysteriously from time to time， your pitch and tone will forever be recorded in my memory.

My hope is that as you grow up， your cries are reserved for happy moments instead of tragic ones. I cant even imagine yet how gut-wrenching6） it will feel for me when you start experiencing pain that elicits7） tears. And since you have no spoken words yet， I am cherishing these days before you can say the word “no，” but look forward to when you can tell me about your highest highs and lowest lows. So for now， I am reminded by your cries that you need something from me.

And son， I have a request for you since your mom is a health care provider： please keep your lungs free of nicotine.

You let me smother you with kisses. Little do you know it， but we give you about 1，000 kisses a day. More or less. As I had posted on my Facebook this week about how you just smiled at your dad and I a few mornings ago， my friend Adam said it best. To paraphrase him， theres a circle of life that happens when a child smiles at their parents. Youll enjoy us for the next 8 to 10 years， then not be as enthused to see us for another 8 to 10 years， and then youll be back to being happy to see us with a vengeance8）.

I realize that the days of 1，000 kisses will fade from coming from your parents and be replaced by a lover one day. May you choose wisely. Very， very wisely my dear son.

You are comforted most in my arms. As I have chosen to exclusively breastfeed you， you and I share a lot of intimate time together. Easily we share eight to ten times a day where it is just you and I， literally connected. Yes， there have been sleepless nights， but I know those days are limited. In the coming months and years， youll grow heavier to where I wont physically be able to hold you in my arms and lay you in my lap. So I am choosing to cherish this finite time with you.

As you grow up， youll be comforted by other people， no doubt. Outside of your parents， youll be comforted by friends， family and romantic partners （again choose wisely）. My hope is that you always know that you can always find comfort in me.

You piss and poop a dozen times a day. All I can say to this is that you are a healthy boy！ There will come a day soon when Ill stop inspecting all your orifices9） and feeling like a champion for each day that you havent had a diaper rash10）. As a little boy， youll be more obsessed with poop， farts and gas throughout the years and Ill be less interested in them I am sure. As for now， I am obsessed as making sure you burp11） after feeds and go through enough wet and dirty diapers so that we know you are hydrated and gaining weight. I am choosing to be grateful that through diapers， we can ensure you are thriving.

We hold hands every day. You have the tightest little grip for such a small baby. I am grateful that you have reflexes and you are building up your small motor skills.

Your hands will allow you to express so many things. Youll use your hands to write. I wish you to use your written words as kind and well-thought-out as your spoken words.

Youll use your hands for play. We hope you use your hands to nurture others as well. Youll use your hands to also comfort others， as we have often comforted you. Therell be those years where you will drop my hand as soon as you see your friends very soon. I am holding on to your hand as much as I can， for now.

Its my hope that as a new mom， we have moments of gratitude in the midst of figuring this whole thing out. I am not saying that these past 37 days have been a breeze but I will say without a doubt， you have made my life richer and have given me a sense to prioritize whats important in life and avoid the minutiae12）. With you in my life， to be away from you for just a minute， must be worth it. That being said， there really arent that many compelling reasons for me to put forth the effort. As much as I can joke about motherhood， I love it so much. However， when I am away from you， I just make sure its worth it. Thank you for teaching me to streamline my life and focus on what matters the most.

What I am most grateful for is that you arrived outside of my womb safe and sound. I know that other friends of ours are having difficulty conceiving their baby， or are also having complicated pregnancies. I know that it is easy to focus on how hard motherhood is but I hope to be mindful that even on the toughest days， when your lungs are functioning VERY WELL， Ill remember that you have come into our lives. And that you will one day， not rely on us for anything， but choose to anyway.

With my love，

Mom

心愛的兒子：

你是個小寶寶，出生才37天。現(xiàn)在我寫信給你，是想花點時間仔細想想你是誰，并表達我對此的感激。

瞧，我和你爸爸意識到，此時此刻的你百分之百地依賴我們。在我們發(fā)現(xiàn)懷上你的那一刻，我們就知道自己擔負著這一重任。

你需要我們?yōu)槟闾峁┦场⒆　⑴人谢旧钚枨髞韼椭愠砷L。你還沒學會自己上廁所，所以我們要擔當起為你換尿片的責任。你除了會自己哭鬧、睡覺和拉便便，其他一切都依靠我們。你甚至需要我們?yōu)槟闾捅强祝@一點我們目前還是手足無措。

我突然想到，有一天你將完全不需要我們?yōu)槟阕鋈魏问铝恕?/p>

最近我讀了許多講述媽媽育兒艱辛的文章，這些文章都贊頌媽媽們做出了多少犧牲。我完全贊同做母親要接受種種考驗的說法，但是我也想感激做母親帶來的許多美好，因為的確有太多的事情是只有你我二人一起經(jīng)歷的。截至目前，你的成長讓我對自己有了許多的認識，也讓我更多地意識到你是如何從我們的小寶寶一步步成長，直到某一天長成一個自立青年的。

某時某刻，那些讓新媽媽抓狂的事情會逐漸消失。因此，現(xiàn)在我會停下來，去發(fā)現(xiàn)你細微的一舉一動所帶來的美好和歡樂。

你撕心裂肺地嚎啕大哭，我選擇為你百分百的健康而心存感激。你的肺功能正常，在你學會用語言交流之前，哭是你告訴我們你對某些事不滿的唯一方式。兒子，你的哭聲我們聽得一清二楚。你出生時的第一聲啼哭讓我和你父親的心弦為之顫動。就算你時不時莫名其妙地哭鬧，但你哭鬧的腔調(diào)將永遠銘刻在我的記憶中。

我希望，隨著你漸漸長大，你的眼淚都留給歡快的時刻，而不是痛苦的時刻。我甚至無法想象，如果你開始經(jīng)歷讓你流淚的痛苦，那會讓我多么心痛。你還不會說話，所以我會珍惜你還不會開口說“不”的日子，但我期盼你能開口告訴我你情緒的最高潮與最低谷的那一天。而現(xiàn)在，你的一聲聲啼哭在提醒我，你需要我為你做點什么。

兒子，媽媽是一位醫(yī)療工作者，因此我對你有一個要求：請讓你的肺臟遠離尼古丁的侵蝕。

你讓我對你親不夠。你不知道，我們每天都會親吻你大約一千次。或多或少。本周我在自己的Facebook上貼出了幾天前你沖我和爸爸微笑的照片。對此我的朋友亞當說得太好了。他的大意是，孩子對父母微笑時，生活的循環(huán)便開始了。在接下來的十年八年里，你會開心地和我們在一起；再有十年八年，你會不那么樂意看到我們；然后你又會回到見到我們極度開心的狀態(tài)。

我知道父母每天親吻你一千次的日子會一去不返，某天取而代之的是你愛人的親吻。但愿你在選愛人時做出明智的選擇。千萬千萬要選對人，我親愛的兒子。

我的臂彎能給你帶來最大的安慰。由于我選擇純母乳喂養(yǎng)，因此我們共度了許多親密的時光。一天當中，我們輕易就有八到十次獨處的機會，只有你我兩人，真正地母子相連。的確，我有過許多不眠之夜，但是我知道那樣的日子是有限的。在接下來的歲月里，你會變得越來越重，重到我體力不支，無法再用雙臂抱你，無法再把你放到我的腿上。所以，我選擇珍惜和你親密相處的這些有限時光。

隨著你漸漸長大，毫無疑問，你會得到他人的安慰。除了父母，你會得到親朋好友和伴侶的安慰（再說一次，要明智選擇）。我希望你始終明白，你永遠可以在我這里找到安慰。

你一天要尿尿、拉便便十幾次，對此我只能說你是個健康的男孩兒！有一天我將不再檢查你的小屁股，不再在你沒有尿布疹的每個日子都像拿了冠軍一樣開心——那一天很快就會到來。作為一個小男孩，在以后的幾年里，你拉的便便、放的臭屁和打的嗝會越來越多，而我敢肯定我對它們的興趣會越來越少。現(xiàn)在，我滿腦子想的都是確保喂奶后你能打嗝，并把該尿濕拉臟的尿布全都尿濕拉臟——這樣我們就知道你不缺水分，體重在增加。通過這些尿布，我們能確保你在茁壯成長，對此我選擇心存感激。

我們每天都會牽手。對你這么小的嬰兒來說，你的小手攥得可真緊。這讓我感到欣慰，因為你有條件反射，你在鍛煉自己小小的肌肉運動技能。

你將可以用你的雙手表達許多東西。你會用自己的雙手寫作。我希望你寫下的東西充滿善意和深思熟慮，希望你口中說出的話也是如此。

你會用自己的雙手去玩耍。我們希望你也用自己的雙手去扶持他人。你還會用你的雙手去安慰別人，就像我們經(jīng)常安慰你一樣。在未來的某些年里，你一看到你的朋友們就會甩開我的手，那樣的日子很快就會到來。所以此時此刻，我正盡可能多地牽牽你的手。

作為新媽媽，我希望我們在摸索如何解決這一切問題的過程中時常懷有感激之情。我并不是說過去的這37天很輕松，但是我要確定無疑地說，你讓我的生活更加豐富，讓我明白了要把生活中重要的事放在首位，忽略那些細枝末節(jié)。有你在我生命中，離開你的每一分鐘都必須值得我那么做。話雖如此，但真的沒有多少理由說服我付出那樣的努力。雖然我可以調(diào)侃母親這個身份，但我同樣如此熱愛這個身份。然而，當我不在你身邊時，我會確保所做的事情是值得的。謝謝你教會我如何安排自己的生活，教會我把精力放在最重要的事情上。

我最感激的是你從我的肚子里平平安安地生了出來。我知道有些朋友很難懷上寶寶，或是還有著曲折艱辛的懷孕過程。我知道人們很容易把關注點放在做母親的艱難上，但是我希望自己記著一件事：即使在最辛苦的日子里——那些你嚎啕大哭的日子里——我也會牢記你來到了我們的生命里。我會牢記，有一天你將不再依賴我們做任何事，但仍會選擇依戀我們。

愛你的媽媽

1. potty [?p?ti] n. （小孩用的）便盆；尿壺

2. attendant [??tend?nt] adj. 伴隨的；隨之而來的

3. rah-rah [?rɑ??rɑ?] n. 歡呼聲，叫好聲，喝彩聲

4. at the top of ones lungs：聲嘶力竭地；用盡量大的聲音

5. strike a chord：引起共鳴；觸動心弦

6. gut-wrenching [?ɡ?t?rent???] adj. 帶來精神痛苦的

7. elicit [??l?s?t] vt. 引起；引出

8. with a vengeance：極度地，徹底地

9. orifice [??r?f?s] n. （尤指身體上的）孔，口

10. diaper rash：[醫(yī)]尿布疹

11. burp [b??（r）p] vi. 打嗝

12. minutiae [ma??nju??ii?] n. [復]細枝末節(jié)；瑣事