一輩子的承諾

I woke that 1）fateful day immersed in anxiety and misery. How would I survive what lay ahead？ It was 1959， my junior year in college， and I was studying to become a teacher.

I loved it， thrived in the preparations I was making to become a professional educator.

Classes in English， Psychology， Reading Methods and more gave me no problems. What loomed ahead this awful day， however， made me shiver with fear.

No way out. I had to face the music， I told myself， as I dragged my reluctant body from the warm cocoon of blankets. Face the music？ That was exactly what I had to do this morning. My churning stomach meant breakfast would be skipped today. Each tick of the clock brought me closer to disaster.

I donned coat and gloves， wrapped a scarf around my neck and set out on legs that felt heavier with each step. For once， I didn’t 2）relish the walk across campus.Face the music？ I shuddered as that simple phrase skipped through my mind once again. I journeyed slowly to the final exam in my Music for the Elementary School class…an exam with no paper and pencil. I might have done all right with a test like that. Instead， the professor would select any three songs of nine we were to learn. The pieces were not 3）concertos or 4）etudes. These were little children’s songs， like “Mary Had A Little Lamb”.

The professor explained， in the first week of class， that we had to learn three groups of songs in three different keys. To be sure， we had all semester to do this， plenty of time to master them， he assured us. Music Department pianos were available for practice.

“Piece of cake，” the girl next to me said.

“Easy enough，” another 5）chirped as I glared at her.

“6）Cinch class，” yet another said rolling her eyes to Heaven.

I kept my silence， but the worry started right then and there. I had many talents， but music was not one of them. I liked to listen to it. I was able to appreciate it， but I could not learn to tap a triangle at the right time in third grade. I could not sing on key. I could not read the musical notes on a 7）staff. No musical aptitude whatsoever.

I signed up for practice times several days a week all semester. Anyone nearby must have 8）winced at my efforts. Lovely songs tripped off the fingers of other practicing pianists， and the music floated through the hallway.

I asked my roommate for help. After several sessions， she told me it was a hopeless cause and suggested I cry on the professor’s shoulder， plead for mercy or something more 9）drastic. What the more drastic approach might be I feared to ask.

I did talk to the professor， poured out my tale of woe. I explained that I was“Musically Handicapped.”

“Have you put some effort into this？”he asked me. “Really put some work into learning to play these little songs on the piano？”

With tears threatening， I assured him I had. His answer was that I would do fine when the time came， and he strode out of the classroom after patting me on the shoulder.

Now， the day of my demise had arrived. I could not have feared 10）execution any more than I did this music exam.

The professor greeted me with a smile， rubbed his hands together and said， “Well now， are we ready？”

I sank onto the bench and attempted to play the three songs he selected. He kindly picked what were probably the three easiest pieces， and I managed to butcher each one.

At the end of my 11）futile performance， the professor beckoned me to his desk. He looked at me， started to speak， then stopped and wiped his hand across his forehead.“Nancy， this is what we are going to do. You’ve put forth a great deal of effort， so I will give you a C in this class on one condition. ”

“Anything，” I answered.

“You must promise me that you will only teach in a school that also employs a music teacher！” He grinned at me after making the statement.

With vast relief I made the promise.

I taught in more than one school district， but I always made sure it was one that had a music teacher. I watched with great admiration as music class was conducted， as songs were played on the piano the teacher rolled from classroom to classroom twice each week. What a genius she is I thought， as her fingers flew across the keys.

To this day， the only musical thing I play is a CD player or radio. After all， a promise is meant to be honored.

我在充滿焦慮和苦痛的情緒中醒來(lái)，那是改變我命運(yùn)的一天。我要怎樣熬過(guò)眼前的這一關(guān)？那是1959年，我還在讀大學(xué)三年級(jí)，為成為一名教師而刻苦攻讀。

我喜歡教書(shū)，努力準(zhǔn)備著要成為一名專業(yè)的教育工作者。

英語(yǔ)、心理學(xué)、閱讀方法以及其他的課程對(duì)我都不成問(wèn)題。在這糟糕的一天，我即將面對(duì)的事情，卻讓我害怕得渾身顫抖。

無(wú)路可走了。當(dāng)我不情愿地把身體從暖和的毛毯中拖出時(shí)，我對(duì)自己說(shuō)我必須面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)。直面現(xiàn)實(shí)？那正是今天早上我不得不做的事情。我的胃部在劇烈地翻騰著，那意味著今天我吃不下早餐了。時(shí)鐘跳動(dòng)的每一秒都把我往災(zāi)難推近一步。

我穿上大衣，戴上手套，在脖子上裹了一條圍巾，踏著越來(lái)越沉重的步伐出發(fā)了。僅此一次，我并不享受在校園里漫步。直面現(xiàn)實(shí)？那簡(jiǎn)單幾字再次跳進(jìn)我腦海時(shí)，我不禁哆嗦了一下。我邁著沉重的步伐走向最后一門(mén)考試——小學(xué)音樂(lè)課……這是一門(mén)不需要紙和筆的考試。也許要做題的考試我還能考得好一些。在這門(mén)考試?yán)铮淌跁?huì)從我們需要學(xué)習(xí)的九首曲目中任意挑選三首。這些曲目既不是協(xié)奏曲，也不是練習(xí)曲。這些都是兒歌，比如《瑪麗有只小羊羔》。

課程的第一周，教授解釋說(shuō)我們需要學(xué)習(xí)三組不同音調(diào)的三種曲目。可以肯定的是，我們有一個(gè)學(xué)期的學(xué)習(xí)時(shí)間，有很多時(shí)間去掌握，他向我們保證道。音樂(lè)系的鋼琴可以給我們用來(lái)練習(xí)。

“小菜一碟，”我身旁的女孩說(shuō)。

“挺容易的，”我盯著另一個(gè)女孩時(shí)，她尖聲地說(shuō)。