消失中的鄉根

As a child， I skinned my knees countless times in sandy playgrounds and on concrete sidewalks， as I ran around chasing my brother within the 1）void decks of our Ghim Moh estate. I remember， as a 6-year old， pleading and whining for 20 cents to buy the chicken-flavoured Kaka snacks from the 2）mamak stall downstairs， just so I could get that little surprise toy hidden within.

I have fond memories of following my mother to the 3）wet market in Ghim Moh estate， walking around the maze of stalls， trying not to slip and fall in my slippers and inadvertently getting my toes wet from the water that drained off from the fish counters and vegetable stalls to the mosaic floor， listening to her bargain in 4）Teochew to the vegetable seller who in the next minute would start talking to another customer in Malay.

I remember too， a long-gone time， when 5）hawkers at the wet market used to sell live chickens， kept in metal cages， and how as a child， I often wondered if they were cooking those same chickens in the huge， metal vats that stood next to the chicken cages.

So when I heard the news that the Ghim Moh hawker centre and market is going to undergo some major renovations in the later part of 2014 and most possibly lose the facade that it had for the past 30 years， my heart starts to mourn the approaching loss of one of the last stomping grounds of my childhood.

For many Singaporeans living in fastchanging Singapore， many of the places we knew and loved as children or young adults have all but disappeared. I suppose that is the price we have to pay for living in a land-scarce country where constant urban redevelopment is the norm.

The book and stationery store in Ghim Moh that my brother James and I used to frequent as kids， closed 4 years ago after over 30 years in business. I used to relish the fact that it had changed little over the course of three decades， the shelves still stocking the same types of notebooks and 6）jotter books that I had bought as a 7 year old kid， the same little 7）trinkets being sold behind the cash register. It was our childhood landmark and it had allowed me to literally trace my childhood footsteps on its same worn concrete floors. Now all that stands in its stead is a beauty/spa shop.

Yes， in Singapore we have pictures in museums and books reminding us of our local heritage. Many of our favourite communal places such as the old National Library， the Singapore National Theatre， the Van Kleef Aquarium， or even the old playgrounds of the past can only be read about nowadays in books or on signposts 8）commemorating where they used to stand.

We are physical beings. We make sense of our world and our relationship to our world through our senses. Sometimes， it’s not enough to just read about it. We have to feel it， smell it， touch it， collide with it so as to form our own memories of it， our own stories， and in turn share those experiences and stories with others in the same tangible fashion.

I am thankful for the little opportunities that I have to share some of my childhood memories with my daughter Claire. Just a couple of months ago， when I made a trip back to Singapore with Claire， we wandered over to the aquarium stall in the wet market section of Ghim Moh Market.

The owner still looks as youthful as I remembered him from 30 years back. I was overjoyed to have the chance to bring Claire to the stall and she， like myself so many years ago， was fascinated by the flicker of gold and silver fish swimming around the many neatly stacked aquariums. She too， like I did many years ago， stared with fascination at the spool of wiggly worms slowly trembling and unwinding orange brown threads and the 9）terrapins climbing to constantly one-up each other on their little plastic 10）Everest in their small 11）smudgy tank.

About the same time， I noticed that a big shady tree just outside of the Ghim Moh market had been removed and in its place stood a skinny 12）scrawny tree that could not shade the little dog that was sitting under it， desperate for some shade in the scorching mid-day sun.

Why， I asked the shopkeeper close-by， had the nice shady tree been removed， only to have this small scrawny tree in its place？

“They replace the trees every few years because they don’t want the roots to crack the concrete，” he replied. A very practical， logical answer. Very …Singaporean in some sense.

It got me thinking…

Are we as a country planting roots only to uproot them later， even before the roots have had time to mature？ Yes， perhaps the concrete might crack. Things might get a little messy and unpredictable. But surely， life is beautiful in its natural state. Call it sentiment， call it romance if you will， but I’m convinced that old memories and old buildings and landmarks have their place， their significance in fast-changing Singapore， to a degree that has not yet been fully realized.

There is a new playground now at the place where my brother and I used to play. Gone are the sand pits for building up sand castles and digging for treasure. In its place， are “safety-first” rubber mats. And in the place of those lovable localflavoured dragon structures and watermelon play structures that I used to play in as a child， are 13） pre-fabricated plastic and metal structures that look like 14）carbon copies of the playgrounds I see in Los Angeles.

It’s all very sleek， safe and effective， but I miss the grit. I would rather see the sweat of years etched out on a wrinkled face， than a smooth botoxed face 15）devoid of expression and character.

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.

小時候，我常常在我們錦茂社區的組屋樓下追著哥哥跑，無數次在沙地操場里和人行道的水泥地上摔破膝蓋。還記得我六歲時，求著鬧著要20美分去我們樓下的嘛嘛檔買一種叫“佳佳”的雞肉味零食，只為了得到里面藏著的驚喜小玩具。

小時候我常跟著媽媽去我們錦茂社區的菜市場，盡是美好回憶——在迷宮般的攤鋪里兜來兜去；小心翼翼地避免穿著拖鞋滑倒；魚攤和蔬菜攤的水滴到了拼花地板上，腳趾頭一不小心就被地上的水弄濕了；聽著媽媽用潮州話與賣蔬菜的攤主講價，這位攤主轉頭就開始用馬來語和另一位顧客交談。

我同樣記得，很久之前，菜市場的小販會出售活雞，這些活雞被裝在金屬籠里，籠子旁邊放著一些很大的金屬桶。小時候，我經常想他們是不是會用這些桶來煮這些雞。

有消息傳出錦茂小販中心與市場將會在2014年的下半年面臨一次大整改，而這次的整改很可能會讓這個三十多年不變的地方面目全非。當我聽到這個消息時，我的心開始為這個即將消失的地方感到哀傷，這是我童年時期常去而至今尚存的其中一個地方。

對于許多住在快速變化的新加坡的當地人來說，我們小時候或者年輕時所知道以及喜愛的許多地方都已經消失不見了。我想這是住在一個土地稀缺的國家所要付出的代價，在這里，不斷的城市改建實屬常事。

四年前，我和哥哥詹姆斯小時候常去的錦茂社區里的一家經營了三十多年的文具書店關門倒閉了?！?br>