西蒙·考威爾，你毀了我的夢(mèng)！

I have always loved Simon Cowell for his honesty—the way he tells people straight whether they are good or bad. To me， he has always been a bit of a god， someone who could get you anywhere， 1）music-wise. So last summer， aged 12， I applied for Britain’s Got Talent， with a dream： I wanted to make something of the harp.

In October I had my audition in front of the judges. In the 2）holding area I sat by an old man with a suitcase full of live cockroaches that he was eating for his performance， two 3）rollerbladers （one in swimming shorts）， some 4）line dancers and a man who was reciting lines from Gladiator.

It was scary waiting to go on， sitting 5）in the wings for hours while a guy warmed up the audience： he was getting them to 6）fever pitch and they were already shouting “Shit！ Shit！ Shit！” I was the second act. I was told that I would have five or ten minutes after the first act to get ready but the rollerbladers got 7）buzzed off in seven seconds and then Ant and Dec were saying： “Go， Hero！”

The crew had gone over and over with me where my head was to be when I played， and as soon as I was on stage I realised why. I was looking directly at Cowell， who yawned and rolled his eyes before I had even sounded a note. He kept it up the whole way through my performance. The trouble with a harp is that it’s difficult to move so I was stuck looking at him while performing in front of nearly 2，000 people. I had wanted to do one of my own compositions， which I’d played at the audition， but had been told I should do a cover， so I did Run by 8）Snow Patrol. I was lucky： the audience loved it. I got a 9）standing ovation and cheers all the way through. Alesha Dixon wiped away a tear， David Walliams said I was amazing， so did Amanda Holden， but Simon’s evil stare continued. I suspect he had made up his mind about me long before， as I could see him looking at notes when he gave me a “No” and said that the harp didn’t do it for him； it was old-fashioned. The audience started to 10）chant： “Harp up， Simon！” I tried to stand up to him and said that what I want to do is show that the harp can be used like a guitar for contemporary music.

I came off （the） stage wanting to cry， but I had got three yeses so had to leap up and down acting happy in front of the cameras， with Ant and Dec congratulating me on being through to the next round. But last month， the night before I was due back on BGT， the phone rang： I had been dropped. I had wasted half my 11）half term getting ready for that. Cowell shatters dreams and yet I so wanted to impress him.

I still want the harp to be the new guitar； I hope I can do it.

我一直都很喜歡西蒙·考威爾，因?yàn)樗奶孤手毖浴獰o論對(duì)方是好是壞，他告知他們的方式總是那么直接。對(duì)我而言，他就是神的化身，一個(gè)在音樂領(lǐng)域能將你推到任何位置的神人。所以去年夏天，十二歲的我報(bào)名參加了《英國(guó)達(dá)人》選秀比賽，懷抱著這樣一個(gè)夢(mèng)想：讓豎琴在我的指尖綻放光彩。

十月份的時(shí)候，我在評(píng)委面前進(jìn)行了試鏡。在等候區(qū)，坐在我旁邊的是：一位老先生，他帶著一整個(gè)手提箱的活蟑螂，準(zhǔn)備表演生吃蟑螂；兩名輪滑溜冰者（其中一位還穿著泳褲），一群集體舞者，還有一個(gè)正在背誦《角斗士》臺(tái)詞的男人。

可怕的等待持續(xù)蔓延著，我們?cè)诤笈_(tái)干坐的好幾個(gè)小時(shí)里，一個(gè)男人在調(diào)動(dòng)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)觀眾的情緒，讓他們狂熱起來，但觀眾已經(jīng)在大吐臟話了。我是第二個(gè)上場(chǎng)表演的。他們告訴我，在第一個(gè)表演之后，我會(huì)有五或十分鐘的準(zhǔn)備時(shí)間，但輪滑溜冰者在七秒后就掛掉了，于是安特和德克朝我喊：“海洛，上！”

工作人員之前再三和我確認(rèn)演奏時(shí)我面向的方位，直到站上舞臺(tái)，我才知道為什么。我直直地看向考威爾，而他在我甚至連一個(gè)音符都還沒開始演奏前就已經(jīng)哈欠連連、大翻白眼了。在我的整個(gè)表演過程中，他一直都是這樣。因?yàn)樨Q琴很難挪動(dòng)，所以在近2000名觀眾前，我只能被迫看著他來演奏。我想演奏一首我自己的創(chuàng)作——就是我之前試鏡時(shí)彈奏過的曲目——但他們卻要我演奏其他名曲，所以我演奏了雪地巡游者的《離開》。我是幸運(yùn)的：觀眾們喜歡我的表演。……