有一種閨蜜叫老媽

Last weekend， my best friend came to visit. We brunched1） in Brooklyn， went to a sample sale2）， got her ear pierced， and saw Divergent. We went to favorite neighborhood spots for dinner with my other best friends—the ones who live in New York—and we talked a whole lot about everything and nothing.

When it came time for her to leave， my heart sunk. It's painful being a plane ride away from each other， but as we always do before we part， we made sure to set a date for the next time we'd be together.

This best friend isn't a high school pal3） or a college roommate： she's my mom. Our relationship is the most significant， and also the most difficult， in my life.

I feel incredibly lucky to be connected to my mom the person （as opposed to my mom the relative） in such a real， deep way. I can tell her anything （she's not a judger）； she's my biggest advocate4） （whenever she's in the grocery store checkout line， she shows people my name on the Teen Vogue masthead5））， and even though we're far from carbon copies6） of one another， she just gets me.

Our friendship is far from unusual. Moms and daughters are closer now than ever before thanks to a bunch of factors， the most obvious being technology. When my mom was in college， she called her parents once a week from the shared dorm phone. The best time to call was Sunday nights， when the rates were lowest. Now？ My mom and I text and Gchat7） during the day， and chat on the phone at night. We can be in constant contact if we need to be.

These days， girls also settle down later. When my mom was my age， she'd already been married for a year！ I don't have a family of my own yet， so the one I was born into is still a central force in my life. Oh， and another important factor？ Moms are cool now. There's not as big of a gap in terms of8） what different generations are into. My mom and I both watch Scandal 9）， my dad and I both like Drake. We read a lot of the same things and share the same general opinions about politics and religion. Of course， this isn't true of all families， but it's safe to say these kinds of similarities are way more common now than they were in the past.

But for all the warm fuzziness of our relationship， there's also a pretty scary truth： it's so， so hard to love someone this much. What if something happens to her？ I would lose a mom and a best friend. If I think about it too often， I go insane. After Mindy Kaling's10） mom passed away， she told Lena Dunham11） that \"she was the love of my life\". The magnitude12） of her loss haunts me.

When I left home for what was effectively the last time， my mom said through tears， \"There's something so unnatural about your children leaving you.\" The same goes for best friends. I want nothing more than to live in the same place， but we both know how unhappy the other would be. I can't imagine moving back to the Midwestern suburbs， she （and my dad， who is also the best， but that's a whole other essay） can't imagine moving to New York City. So we fly back and forth， and sometimes to other places too. It doesn't ease my anxiety about losing her， but it does make things easier.

So， for now， I'll try to stop worrying， Gchat my mom to see how her day's going， and look forward to our next best friend weekend.

上周末，我的閨蜜來看我。我們在布魯克林區(qū)吃了早午餐，去了一個樣品特賣會，我陪她打了耳洞，我們還一起看了電影《分歧者》。我們去我家附近最喜愛的餐廳跟我的其他閨蜜——那些住在紐約的好朋友——共進晚餐，天南地北無所不聊。

到了她要走的時候，我的心一沉。我們相隔一趟航班的距離，這令人感到痛苦；不過，我們和往常分別前一樣確定了下次見面的日期。

這位閨蜜并不是我的高中好友或者大學室友，而是我的媽媽。我們之間的關系是我人生當中最重要也最難以釋懷的。

能跟媽媽這個“人”（和媽媽這個“親人”相對）以這樣真實、深入的方式相處，我感到無比幸運。我可以和她暢所欲言（她不會對我評頭論足），她是我最堅定的支持者（每次在雜貨店排隊結賬時，她都會向別人展示《Teen Vogue》少女時尚雜志刊頭部分印著的我的名字） （編注：本文作者是《Teen Vogue》的編輯）。盡管我們完全不是同一類人，可她卻懂我。

我們的友誼遠非不同尋常。在各種因素的推動下（其中最顯著的因素就是科技），現如今母親與女兒之間的關系比以往任何時候都更加親密。媽媽當年上大學時，每周只能用寢室的公用電話給姥姥姥爺打一次電話，而打電話的最佳時間則是每周日晚上，因為那會兒資費最低。現在呢？我跟媽媽白天發(fā)短信或用Gchat聊天，晚上還會打電話。如果有需要的話，我們隨時都可以聯系上對方。

此外，現在的女孩安頓下來的時間更晚。媽媽在我這個年紀時已經結婚一年了！而我如今尚未擁有自己的家庭，因此那個生我養(yǎng)我的家仍然是我人生中的主要力量。哦，還有一個重要因素是什么呢？現在的媽媽們都很潮。媽媽和子女之間并不存在那么大的所謂不同代人之間都會存在的代溝。媽媽和我都看《丑聞》，爸爸和我都喜歡德雷克。我們閱讀的許多東西都一樣，對政治和宗教也都持有大致相同的觀點。當然，并不是每個家庭都是這種情況，不過我們卻可以肯定地說，現在母女之間的這些相似之處要比過去普遍得多。

然而，拋開我跟媽媽之間所有那些說不清道不明的溫暖紐帶不談，還有一個非常可怕的事實：我很難很難再像愛媽媽這樣去愛另一個人。如果她遭遇不測該怎么辦？那我失去的將不僅僅是媽媽，還是一位好閨蜜。如果總是去想這件事情，我會瘋掉的。敏迪·卡靈在她的母親去世之后向莉娜·杜漢姆坦言：“媽媽是我此生的摯愛。”她喪母的損失之巨大總是縈繞在我心頭。

當我實際上是最后一次離開家的時候，媽媽雙眼噙著淚水說：“讓孩子離開自己是一件多么不合常理的事啊。”這句話同樣適用于好朋友之間。我只是想跟媽媽住在同一個地方，但我們彼此都明白這樣做對方會有多么不開心。我無法想象自己搬回美國中西部郊區(qū)居住，而媽媽（還有爸爸，他也是全天下最好的父親，但那是另一篇文章要講的事了）也無法想象自己搬去紐約市居住。所以我們坐飛機來來去去，有時也會去其他城市見面。這樣做并不會減輕我怕會失去她的擔憂，但的確會讓日子好過一些。

所以現在我會盡量不再擔憂，而是用Gchat跟媽媽聊天，看看她這一天過得怎么樣，并期待我們下一個閨蜜聚會的周末。

1.brunch [br?nt?] vi. 吃早午餐

2.sample sale： 樣品特賣

3.pal [p?l] n. [俗]伙伴；好友

4.advocate [??dv?k?t] n. 擁護者，提倡者

5.masthead [?mɑ?sthed] n. （首頁頂端印有報紙名稱的）刊頭，報頭

6.carbon copy： 一模一樣的人；翻版

7.Gchat： Google公司開發(fā)的用來聊天、通話的一種手機應用程序。在本文中用作動詞，指“用Gchat （與某人）聊天”。

8.in terms of： 從……來說；從……來看

9.Scandal： 《丑聞》，一部美劇，講的是關于白宮內部的勾心斗角。

10.Mindy Kaling： 敏迪·卡靈（1979～），美國女演員，曾出演《世界末日》（This Is the End）、《五年之約》（The Five-Year Engagement）等影片。

11.Lena Dunham： 莉娜·杜漢姆（1986～），美國女演員、編劇、制片人、導演，2010年憑借自編自導自演的喜劇影片《微型家具》（Tiny Furniture）嶄露頭角，目前是美劇《都市女孩》（Girls）的首席編劇與主演。

12.magnitude [?m?ɡn?tju?d] n. 巨大；重要；重大