The Heretic

By+Kathleen+Kent

凱瑟琳·肯特（Kathleen Kent， 1953～），美國暢銷書作家，是賽倫女巫審判案中的受迫害者瑪莎·卡列爾的第十代后裔。《異教徒的女兒》（The Heretic's Daughter）是她的第一部小說，出版后好評如潮。該小說以瑪莎·卡列爾的女兒、11歲的莎拉為第一視角，記述了17世紀莎拉一家面臨種種困境和迫害所表現出的愛與牽絆。作為北美洲的早期移民，莎拉一家不僅面臨大自然的挑戰、瘟疫的威脅、印第安人的襲擊，還遭受了來自同族的宗教迫害。莎拉的母親瑪莎·卡列爾就在迫害中被施以絞刑。在此之前，莎拉與母親之間豎立著難以逾越的隔閡。這場災難中，兩人逐漸相互理解，莎拉也嘗遍苦難，深入認識了人性，以沉痛的方式實現了自我成長。

下文節選自小說第四章，講述了莎拉與母親矛盾激化后邁出的和解的第一步。

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For a moment we looked at each other without speaking， but I knew for what she waited. She waited for me to reveal all of my angry thoughts， but I did not open my mouth to speak. I did not believe she had enough of Grandmother's sympathies to be kind to my disappointments or painful losses. But there was something else as well， something deeper that I could not confess： my fervent1） prayers to be returned to Margaret2） and her family. As much rage as I had felt in my mother presence， I could not admit to her that I had wished her dead. So I continued to stare off into the waving grasses， making my back as rigid3） as my mother's ever was. She sighed in a way that was both tired and accepting and she said， putting equal emphasis on each word， "You are so very hard."

"You have made me so，" I said bitterly.

"No， Sarah. This hardness is native born." She placed herself in front of me and said softly， "But I have done little to tender it." I turned my back to her， unbalanced by her sudden gentleness， and the grasses swam4） like kelp5） through the tears I would not let fall.

"Do you think I don't know what it is that you want？" she said impatiently， and I expected the burn of her fingers on my arm， but she did not touch me. She kept her distance and then said tightly6）， "And so we are to keep our disharmony a while longer. Then you and I will talk of petty7） things." She started to walk about， aimlessly， I thought， looking down at the ground， kicking away bits of scattered limbs or piles of fallen leaves. She knelt down and uncovered something white growing under a bit of bark. She called for me to come， and I walked reluctantly to stand at her shoulder and saw that she had found a mushroom. I had been mushroom hunting many times with her before. Mushroom hunting was a slippery8） task， though. You had to know the differences between the healthful mushrooms and the unhealthful ones. Some of the differences were slight indeed. A bit of carelessness， and death could come hiding under a milky dome or a purple gill9）.

"Do you know what this is？" Mother asked.endprint